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Ask a Luminary

How Do I Find My Gift In Life?

"I work at a hospital and I'm not sure what my gift is in life -- I'm not sure what I like doing. Need help!" ~ Vivian, Chicago, IL Dear Vivian, I can so appreciate your question! Just a few years ago I was in the same place myself - in a job I was good at but didn’t love and feeling empty inside, like I didn’t know where I was headed. I think I can help you with this by sharing a bit of my journey with you. First, it’s important to recognize that even if we are good…

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Honoring Those Who Have Fallen

Today we celebrate Memorial Day in the United States. When we hear "Memorial Day", most Americans think of it as the beginning of the summer, a day filled with picnics, parties, warm weather and fun times. Yet when we look back to the origins on this holiday, the way we celebrate it is quite different from the original intent. According to History.com, Memorial Day, which falls on the last Monday of May, commemorates the men and women who died while serving in the American military. First observed in 1868 as Decoration Day, it was designated for the purpose of strewing…

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When There Aren’t Enough Hours in the Day

“When you have that feeling of there just aren’t enough hours in the day, where do you suggest one starts to relieve the stress?” ~ Diane Beaulieu, Entrée Kitchen owner and B.I.G. pod leader Great question, Diane! There are four places to find relief when you feel there are not enough hours in the day, there is too much to get done, or the stress of your workload is too much. As a recovering Type-A, I have a tendency to think that EVERYTHING needs to get done RIGHT NOW and by ME. If you have the same struggles, take a look at…

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How Can I Overcome Procrastination?

"I want so much out of life, but I procrastinate. How can I overcome procrastination?" ~ Jonas, Ipswich, UK Dear Jonas, Eradicate procrastination, before it destroys you. You get more out of your day with an action-oriented, do-it-now attitude. When you complete the unpleasant or hard jobs first and act on the big tasks little bits at a time, you trim anxiety and stress while gaining self-respect and self-confidence. After you exert this type of discipline long enough, you will establish a routine and create a new habit. Behavioral studies suggest that if you do something every day for 21…

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Using Your Relationships to Realize Real Life

The greatest, most abundant resource on planet Earth is also its least understood and utilized. Its unlimited supply is found virtually everywhere, anytime, and under all circumstances, even though few recognize its real value. What is this most precious collective resource? It is our relationships. Consider these truths: It is within relationships that we grow as individuals in everything valuable, because it is through them that we become stronger and wiser, allowing us to realize a love that transcends our unseen self-limiting self-interests. Yet, even though we may acknowledge the existence of this path to self-perfection, the essential mystery of…

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How Can I Stop Judging Myself?

"I don't know how I am ever going to do my spiritual journey when I am so stuck in judging my physical appearance." ~ Cindy, Santa Fe, NM Dear Cindy, Our bodies continue to serve us to the best of their ability, regardless of how often we have cast blame in their direction for failures in our love life, sports life and inner life. Love does not arise out of body image. But we can keep love away by continuing to deprive ourselves of self-love. It's not the size of our body parts, it’s the size of our issues that count!…

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A Stressed Out Baboon

We all complain about stress, but what is it really? National Geographic did a wonderful report on what stress is by not only looking at humans and our environment, but also through baboons and science. In watching specific tribes of baboons who ate the same food, lived in the same area, and experienced the same natural threats, scientists found it was not environment but social interaction and social rank that caused stress. The baboons that experienced stress and the physical symptoms of stress were those on the bottom of the food chain. They were the weak males being picked on by…

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Giveaway: Win a Copy of Married With Luggage!

When nothing seems to fix your struggling marriage, what should you do? Getting nowhere with counseling and considering divorce, our Luminaries Betsy and Warren Talbot realized they needed to put their relationship first.... which resulted in them getting rid of everything and traveling the world! Their global adventure taught ended up teaching them not just about the world around them, but also about their own relationship with each other. Betsy and Warren share their journey in their new book, Married with Luggage: What We Learned About Love by Traveling the World. Today we are excited to both offer an excerpt from Married with Luggage for you to get…

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HOW Do You Find Your Passion in Life?

"HOW do you find your passion in life? I am a 54 year old single woman who has been in the nursing field for over 30 years and I am ready for a change, but unable to take the plunge, change course, and do something different. I want to try something different, but am struggling with what that is....can anyone help? Thanks!" ~ Barb, Lakefield Your passion is a story of emotional authenticity, responsibility and magic. It is a story of self-discovery and embracing the power within you. The specifics of what you are meant to do will come alive…

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Our path to joy

Married With Luggage: The List That Changed Everything

We hope you enjoy this excerpt from Warren and Betsy Talbot's fourth book, Married with Luggage: What We Learned About Love by Traveling the World. You can find out more about the book and their story of relationship renewal in their bio at the end of the article. We finally went to a therapist to see if he could fix us. The office was in an old building on Main Street, and we both left work early to make the appointment. That showed commitment, right? Neither one of us knew what to expect. This marriage therapist had the look of a distracted…

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How Can I Fix a Friendship?

"Will a friendship I lost a year ago have a chance to be repaired?" ~ Karin, Dresser, WI Hi Karin, I’m sorry you’ve been without your friend for a year now. Whether your relationship with him/her can be repaired or not depends on each of you and your individual wishes about this. Without having details, I can only offer some general suggestions. The first thing to do is to reach out to your friend and let him/her know how much you miss your relationship and how you would like to become friends again. It’s very important when you do this…

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Don’t Believe Your Fears

I like to think I am fearless, and in many ways I am. But in some ways I am not. One of the most noticeable ways is in regards to my business. I fear not having enough income to pay my bills. I fear I will not be able to make the business what I want it to be. I fear that I made a mistake making my passion and purpose my business. The problem is when I listen to my fears and believe them, I make bad choices. If I believe I won’t have sufficient income, I feel it…

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How Can I Respond to Financial Obstacles Positively?

"My husband and I keep getting hit hard financially. One bad break after the next, I feel like I'm drowning. It has to get taken care of, so it will, but how do I go about life without feeling totally defeated?" ~ Laura, Louisville, KT Dear Laura, It is such a challenge not to say “No!” when life circumstances show up in a way that you don’t prefer. The game is to leave your history alone and move forward. When you judge yourself or others for why things are the way they are, then things get heavy and it makes…

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What We Learned From Our Mothers

Happy Mother's Day! Chances are, she taught you how to tie your shoes, kissed the boo boos when you fell down and believed in you when no one else did. On this Mother's Day, we celebrate the woman that not only made our life possible, but the one who did her best to help us be the best person we can be - our mother. As a tribute to all of the great mothers, we've compiled some of the many things we've learned from our mothers, as shared from more than 100 folks on Twitter. (Check out our blog to read each individual…

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How Can I Move Forward from My Mistakes?

"Could you please share with me how can I get over my past mistakes and actions? 7 months ago I had a terrible fight with a friend of mine, whom I had feelings for. It was a long distance relationship. Due to anger and rage, I communicated harsh words to her. I tried apologizing but she's not ready to take my calls and has blocked me off all social networking sites and hasn't communicated since. I terribly feel her absence and I'm down with guilt. Every day thoughts of her keep running through my mind. I feel that if I'd…

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Making Room for Loss

If you found Dr. Eva Selhub's recent Ask a Luminary response on loss valuable, we invite you to read her more in-depth look at this topic today. I am often asked by my clients and friends alike how they can possibly manage or get over the loss or death of a loved one. My answer to them is always the same. You don’t “get over” a loss, you make room for it. What do I mean by that? When someone you love dies, it is appropriate for you to feel grief.  You miss their laughter, their strange quirkiness, their voice…

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Should I Take the First Step in a Relationship?

"Two weeks ago my crush sent me a friendship request on Facebook and he told me that he likes me. I was so happy but since then we haven't talked. I texted him once after that but the last message is always mine -- I feel like he's not interested in me anymore. The sad part is that I will never see him again after this week , he's going to another country! And I don't know if I should tell him that I like him or not -- what if he ignores me and I'll look so stupid? What should I do, please?" ~…

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Working for a Living

Recently whenever I talk to a client or friend about their job, I hear: I have lost the passion for my work. My co-worker undermined my project. It seems we only shuffle paper and no longer provide anything of true value. My boss took credit for my work. I have to work overtime again, without pay. There is too much work to do. I am completely overwhelmed. Once again, I had a nervous breakdown in my office. There are many reasons we feel this way. The economy tanked out in 2008 and led to layoffs but the same amount of…

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