What Do I Do About a Cheating Spouse?

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“How can I keep hope when I know my husband is cheating and dishonest? He pretends all is fine, but I am the one who is suffering inside. My only solace is talking and praying every day to my Lord Jesus, God, Immaculate Virgin Mary, St. Anne her mother and St. Joseph along with the Holy Spirit. I gave my vows at the Altar when I got married 30 years ago. It’s hard to show emotions toward him when I know what he’s doing. What can I do? Do I just put on a face and pretend, and be the victim?” ~ Susie, Toronto, Canada


There are not always easy answers to difficult situations. Depending upon one’s perspective, infidelity and related duplicity are immediate grounds for divorce or formal separation in accordance with one’s religious affiliation. Others might recommend marital counseling if the relationship is valued and deemed capable of being salvaged. You appear to honor the Catholic faith, so consider seeking the feedback of a trusted Priest, one who won’t hide behind dogma when wisdom is called for.

All final actions arising from the rupture of marital relationships should not be pronounced by another person, but, be resolved through your conscience after soulful reflection and guidance from Spirit. Take a retreat, or several of them, to pray and meditate upon these issues until inner guidance is received. You must live with the consequences of your actions so obtain the holy assurance that will sustain you going forward.

How? Take your problems to Spirit inwardly. Pray deeply for guidance over extended periods and with increasing intensity until a response is experienced that brings great peace, calmness, and certitude. You may gain clear realization of what to do or grasp that such clarity will be imminently forthcoming. Trust this and attend to whatever inner or outer guidance comes that conforms to your needs, and, feels impeccably right in your heart. Remove your own agenda – your likes, dislikes, preferences – and surrender to divine will.

When a correct course is revealed, you’ll know it intuitively in your heart as impersonal, righteous, and just. Heed that and it will free you to pursue life knowing you’ve done your best when confronted with a most distressing situation. And remember that marriage, though sacred in its intent and purpose, is not meant to be a prison for abuse or infidelity. As a soul your allegiance is always to God alone, not institutions. Heed the still voice within and live in peace accordingly.

Rev. Alan Pritz

Alan Pritz

Rev. Alan L. Pritz, an Interfaith Minister and spiritual disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda, began consulting in 1988. He founded Inner Resource Enhancement - later LifeALIGNMENT (DBA Awake-In-Life) to offer innovative Lifestyle Management, Work/Life Balance, and Performance Enhancement seminars for business, healthcare, and educational organizations. These programs blended holistic vision with practical application to help clients lead more productive, meaningful lives. Noting an increasing need for personal training, Rev. Alan later added Executive Coaching for corporate leaders to aid in the more subtle EQ and Spiritual Intelligence factors of their pre-existing skill sets. Rev. Alan served as adjunct faculty at the U of St. Thomas Management Center where he developed and taught a workshop on spirituality in the workplace. He subsequently was asked to write a training component on this topic for the American Management Association in Training for Tough Topics (AMACOM: 2000), addressed the National Wellness Conference on Opening Organizational Doors To Balance & Spirituality, developed an integrative medicine training on Yoga, Meditation, and Spirituality for the U of St. Thomas Center for Medical Affairs, wrote numerous articles concerning related themes for Minnesota Physician, Employee Benefits News, Twin Cities Wellness, The Edge and has been on various radio or public speaking events. His work has been written about in journals including Business Ethics Magazine, Employee Benefits News, and Alternative & Complimentary Therapies. To provide an outlet for his deepest passion, teaching meditation and spiritual practice, Rev. Alan started the Center for Inner Awakening (2005-2009) as a nonsectarian yoga facility to help people nourish their inner lives. As part of this expression, he wrote Pocket Guide To Meditation (Crossing Press: 1997), Meditation As A Way of Life (Quest Books: 2014), and produced several CDs of devotional chants and meditation. He subsequently became ordained as an Interfaith Minister (2010) so people of all faiths would feel included and, accordingly, be more receptive to learning. His principal interests are expressed through private practice work that offers meditation training and spiritual counseling / guidance / life coaching services to help individuals and organizations address inner growth and work-life issues from a higher-perspective framework. To learn more see Awake-In-Life.com. To schedule an appointment, call 612-721-4100. Past and Upcoming Releases: Pocket Guide To Meditation | Meditation as a Way of Life, due out in October 2014 (Quest Books)

For more information, please visit www.Awake-In-Life.com.

Recent Releases

Pocket Guide To Meditation - Book

Meditation As A Way of Life - Book (out Oct. 2014)

The Art & Science of Meditation - CD

Heart Songs: Meditative Chants from the Paramhansa Yogananda Tradition - CD

View all posts by Alan Pritz.

  1. Mary
    Mary says:

    As one who has suffered from infidelity, I must say that the only one who holds the answers to your future is your husband. He is the one you must open up to and find the truth on whether there is still love for you within his heart. Once you have this knowledge, then pray with your heart wide open for guidance and compassion. It is a horrible ordeal but time will heal your spirit.

    • Alan
      Alan says:

      I agree with Mary, but only in part. If you know whether your husband still loves you that contributes to a potential for healing this rift, should you feel so inclined. His sentiments alone, however, should not determine your actions. Your feelings count independently and, ultimately, everyone is ultimately responsible for the choices they make with their own life. That is why I so strongly counsel prayer / meditation / inner communion with Spirit to elicit unerring guidance and direction in such trying circumstances.


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