How Do I Deal with My Son’s Addiction?

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“My 26 year old son just came out of a very expensive rehab and seems to be relapsing. He lies to me blatantly. Should I be loving, strict, throw him out (I’m afraid he’ll die alone)…. What is the best way to deal with him?” ~ Knzah, Houston

Dear Knzah,

Every parent’s heart breaks along with yours as you continue to deal with this ongoing painful scenario. As the mother of a daughter who went through several years of drinking in excess, driving while drunk, and getting thrown in jail, I understand your dilemma. Let me share what we did.

After the last offense, we created a house rule list and a contract designed especially for our daughter. We read it to her, asked her if she understood all the contents, then she signed it. We told her that because we loved her we could not allow her to continue living in our home (and keeping our entire family in a state of high tension) if she wasn’t willing to abide by our rules. Once she realized she would be out in the street if she messed up again, she began to make better choices and slowly change.

Love looks to the long-term… not short-term peace. I would advise you to find some other parents to help stand with you and to encourage you as you stand firm in loving your son long-term.

Michele Howe

Michele Howe

Michele is the author of fourteen books for women and has published over 2000 articles, reviews, and curriculum to more than 100 different publications. Her articles and reviews have been published in Good Housekeeping, First For Women, Single Parent Family, Christian Single, and many other publications. Michele’s single parenting titles include Going It Alone and Still Going It Alone. After having undergone six shoulder surgeries, Michele saw the need for a women’s inspirational health-related book co-authored with her orthopedic surgeon titled, Burdens Do a Body Good: Meeting Life’s Challenges with Strength (and Soul), released in 2010 and from which Prescription for Life, their health, medical and surgical informational book is based. One Size Fits All: Making Healthy Choices, Stepping Into a Meaningful Life, a women's health/inspirational devotional by Lighthouse of the Carolinas was released late 2012 and Faith, Friends, and Other Floatation Devices will be published in 2013 by ACTA Publications. Michele's newest release is Burden Lifters: Every Woman's Daily Guide to a Healthy Happy Life, published by Bondfire Books. Read more of Michele's work at michelehowe.wordpress.com and contact Michele at: jhowe@toast.net.

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