How Do I Deal with My Son’s Addiction?

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“My 26 year old son just came out of a very expensive rehab and seems to be relapsing. He lies to me blatantly. Should I be loving, strict, throw him out (I’m afraid he’ll die alone)…. What is the best way to deal with him?” ~ Knzah, Houston

Dear Knzah,

Every parent’s heart breaks along with yours as you continue to deal with this ongoing painful scenario. As the mother of a daughter who went through several years of drinking in excess, driving while drunk, and getting thrown in jail, I understand your dilemma. Let me share what we did.

After the last offense, we created a house rule list and a contract designed especially for our daughter. We read it to her, asked her if she understood all the contents, then she signed it. We told her that because we loved her we could not allow her to continue living in our home (and keeping our entire family in a state of high tension) if she wasn’t willing to abide by our rules. Once she realized she would be out in the street if she messed up again, she began to make better choices and slowly change.

Love looks to the long-term… not short-term peace. I would advise you to find some other parents to help stand with you and to encourage you as you stand firm in loving your son long-term.

Michele Howe

Michele Howe

Michele Howe is a reviewer for Publishers Weekly, FaithfulReader.com, Retailers + Resources, Foreword Magazine, TeenReads.com, KidReads.com, among many others national and international publications. She has published over 2500 reviews/articles and has been featured on numerous radio shows across the country speaking on topics such as parenting and a diverse range of women's health issues. Her work has been published in MORE, FIRST for Women, Good Housekeeping, Christianity Today, Discipleship Journal, Midwest Living, Parentlife, Fullfill, Christian Single, Single Parent Family, Focus on the Family, PRISM, and Connections. She also does manuscript reviewing for several publishing houses including New Growth Press.

Michele is the author of eighteen books for women. Her first book, "Going It Alone: Meeting the Challenges of Being a Single Mom" (Hendrickson Publishers), provided hope and practical helps for single moms new to parenting solo. She has also authored "Pilgrim Prayers for Single Mothers" (Pilgrim Press) and a third book of helps for single mothers titled, "Successful Single Moms" (Pilgrim Press.) In addition to these resources for single mothers, Michele wrote four separate titles combining real life stories with inspirational prayer retreats. These titles published by (Jossey-Bass) include: "Prayers for Homeschooling Moms," "Prayers to Nourish a Woman's Heart," "Prayers of Comfort and Strength" and "Prayers for New and Expecting Moms."

Her more recent books include a follow-up resource to "Going It Alone" titled, "Still Going It Alone: Mothering with Faith and Finesse Once the Children Have Grown" (Hendrickson Publishers) and "Burdens Do a Body Good: Meeting Life's Challenges with Strength and Soul" co-authored with orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Christopher A. Foetisch (Hendrickson Publishers).

One Size Fits All: Making Meaningful Choices, Stepping Into a Meaningful Life was released in early 2013 by Lighthouse of the Carolinas. Burden Lifters: Every Woman's Every Day Resource Kit for a Healthy, Happy Life was released by Bondfire Books in late 2013 and ACTA Publications released, "Faith, Friends, and Other Floatation Devices" which is a compilation of stories, quotes, and practical lifestyle recommendations for "staying afloat" during life's toughest times. Her newest book, Empty Nest, What's Next? Parenting Adult Children Without Losing Your Mind was published fall of 2015. In the fall of 2016, "Caring for Aging Parents: Lessons in Love, Loss, and Letting Go" was released by Hendrickson Publishers. Summer of 2017, her sequel to Empty Nest, What's Next? will be published, Preparing, Adjusting, and Loving the Empty Nest. Read more of Michele's work at michelehowe.wordpress.com and contact Michele at: michelehowewrites@gmail.com.

For more information, please visit michelehowe.wordpress.com.

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