“My 26 year old son just came out of a very expensive rehab and seems to be relapsing. He lies to me blatantly. Should I be loving, strict, throw him out (I’m afraid he’ll die alone)…. What is the best way to deal with him?” ~ Knzah, Houston
Every parent’s heart breaks along with yours as you continue to deal with this ongoing painful scenario. As the mother of a daughter who went through several years of drinking in excess, driving while drunk, and getting thrown in jail, I understand your dilemma. Let me share what we did.
After the last offense, we created a house rule list and a contract designed especially for our daughter. We read it to her, asked her if she understood all the contents, then she signed it. We told her that because we loved her we could not allow her to continue living in our home (and keeping our entire family in a state of high tension) if she wasn’t willing to abide by our rules. Once she realized she would be out in the street if she messed up again, she began to make better choices and slowly change.
Love looks to the long-term… not short-term peace. I would advise you to find some other parents to help stand with you and to encourage you as you stand firm in loving your son long-term.