“I lost both parents within a year, very unexpectedly. I still pick up the phone to call them and feel such an ache inside. How do I fill this void?” ~ Jeri, Poughkeepsie, NY
Your first step is let go of your goal to “fill this void.” I am not sure we ever completely get over losses; we learn to fill our lives up with other good things so that we do not feel the loss as much.
Right now, you need to grieve. It is how the body and mind heal. The loss is a big hole in your heart, so it feels as if there is nothing else out there.
So for now, find a grievance group, spend time with people who love you, practice relaxation and breathing techniques and spend time in nature—all to help you expand your heart so that the hole is not taking up so much room. It will still be there, just smaller relative to the rest of your heart. Your goal is to focus on what you have, rather than what you don’t. This will all take place in time.
Dr. Eva Selhub