Your Past Doesn’t Have to Determine Your Present

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  • In today’s world, where technology has eclipsed our humanity, many of us are looking for a way to operate in our lives with a day-to-day sense of excellence and wellbeing, a way that fulfills our spiritual nature. People have tried different religions or disciplines with varying degrees of success or failure. They have taken motivational workshops to try to discover some meaning to apply to their lives and many have come away wondering, “Is this all there is?” This vague sense of emptiness or dissatisfaction can permeate our lives, even when we accomplish the goals we set for ourselves.

    People listen to a private, internal radio station that plays oldies but not so goodies. This station plays tapes that are repeating and self-defeating. Have you ever listened to the recording that says something like, “I am in my mid-thirties and I don’t have a relationship. All of the relationships I have ever had haven’t worked. I’ll never have one. Why bother trying?” Another similar tape is, “What is the use? No matter how hard I try, I will just be disappointed again anyway.” etc., etc.

    The way we humans function is very similar to modern day computers which can only operate through the applications that are installed in them. So, for instance, a computer that has a word processing program but does not have a spreadsheet program installed will never be able to do spreadsheet type activities. This is not a fault of the computer, for if the computer did have a spreadsheet program installed, it would handle this task quite easily.

    You, too, are not at fault if your internal voice repeats self-defeating messages. You can only function and extrapolate your future from your past. If you have never had a relationship that worked, the prospect of one working in the future is very dim. In other words, if it hasn’t already happened, you cannot conceive of it happening. Minds function like a closed system. They extrapolate from what is known. Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew.”

    How can we learn to see the world anew? What can we do to create a future that isn’t either a repeat of the past or simply an incremental improvement on what we have had before? How do we have quantum leaps in the quality of our lives?

    Blue Butterfly

    The answer is surprisingly simple. In order to jump spontaneously into your potential rather than reinforcing your self-imposed limitations, you need to discover how it is that you actually are rather than how you think are. This is accomplished through honest self-observation without self-reproach. In other words, it is about noticing your behavior without judging yourself for what you discover. This will empower you to naturally stop doing those things that you have done automatically. Then life becomes vital and filled with meaning.

    Spirituality exists in all aspects of our lives when we experience life directly, not through the filter of our judgments, agendas or thought processes. You can only do one thing at a time. You can either think about what is happening in your life or you can be in the experience of what is happening in your life, moment-to-moment. This does not mean that one stops thinking. It does, however mean that the conversation that judges, evaluates and rates how you are doing fades into the background and no longer dominates your life.

    One of the side benefits of living life in the moment is that relatively mundane acts take on a sense of fullness and your actions become appropriate, not based on past decisions or agendas. Agendas are those ideas that we have of what will fulfill us or produce satisfaction in the future. These agendas all come from the known. They come from what society holds to be true (or the resistance to society) rather than from your experience of what is actually fulfilling for you. Therefore, fulfillment or satisfaction can never be achieved by completing these agendas unless you are already satisfied. True satisfaction comes from living your life directly, not judging yourself for how you are doing.

    Living life directly includes your agendas and goals but is not merely driving forward to achieve them. For example, you may have the goal to be physically fit and have planned a regimen at the gym to support this desire. However, the people who exercise with the intention of experiencing purity of motion and having optimum form while performing each move will come away enlivened from the experience. They will also be simultaneously moving forward toward being physically fit. However, people who look in the mirror and complain about what they see, those that exercise in order to be all right someday, inadvertently reinforce the known story that something is wrong with them and even when the goal is achieved, the sense of being wrong lingers.

    So, how does one live life directly? How does one become satisfied? Well, here is a hint. Engaging in any activity as fully as you know how is the beginning. If you are washing the dishes and find that you are talking to yourself in your mind about whether or not you want to be doing what you are doing, this is a clue that you are not fully engaged.

    Ahh, here is the tricky part. If you are preoccupied or complaining, that is all you can be doing in that moment. THAT IS your moment. However, with awareness (a non-judgmental seeing of what is) the conversation that you are listening to will complete itself or you will be able to intentionally disengage from it and redirect your energy.

    Ariel and Shya Kane

    PE_BrightHiResCoverSince 1987, Ariel and Shya Kane have touched the lives of millions through their transformational seminars and top-rated Internet radio show Being Here. Their approach allows people to be productive, effective and satisfied in all areas of their lives without working on their “problems.”  From their ground-breaking books Working on Yourself Doesn't WorkHow to Have A Match Made in Heaven, A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage, winner of the Mom's Choice Book Award (and now available in Spanish and in German), How to Create a Magical Relationship, gold medal winner of the Nautilus Book Award, and Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment, to their speaking engagements at the United Nations Society for Enlightenment and Transformation and Alternatives - the UK's premier venue for some of the biggest names in the mind, body, spirit world - Ariel & Shya continue to reach audiences hungry for the possibility of a life filled with ease, well being and satisfaction. Their acclaimed seminars in New York City, The United Kingdom, Europe and Costa Rica open up previously unseen possibilities in people's lives, allowing them to live the life of their dreams. The next weekend seminars they are offering are Transformation in the Workplace, September 19-20 in NYC and The Freedom to Breathe on October 1 and Money, Success and Happiness: Wealth as a Lifestyle, October 2-4 in Hamburg, Germany. You can learn more about their seminars, Internet radio show Being Here, and their latest book Practical Enlightenment, available now on, as well as their Excellence Club online community at

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    1. Leah
      Leah says:

      I love this. After reading it, I enjoyed a nice deep breath and the reminder that the universe supports me, that I don’t need to strive to improve and achieve. In fact, when I am being present in my life, it is amazing the opportunities and possibilities that suddenly appear out of nowhere! Thanks, Ariel & Shya for a great article.

    2. Valerie
      Valerie says:

      What a great article, thank you! I really appreciate the perspective of “honest self-observation without self-reproach,” so refreshing & simple. I feel more relaxed, closer to myself and excited about being engaged in my life.

    3. Susan
      Susan says:


      Thanks so much for this wonderful life inspiring article! A sense of ease and gratitude washed over me as I read along.

    4. Mac Jackson
      Mac Jackson says:

      Parts of my past I like and when I think about it, I get all pumped up and “think highly of myself” – LOL. And parts of my past I don’t like and when I think about that part, I don’t get all pumped up and I don’t think highly of myself. Also, LOL. This article is great … seems neither the good past or the bad past matters or needs be listened to or serves as a valid road map as to what’s possible. How freeing!

    5. Ellen
      Ellen says:

      Thank you Ariel & Shya! I just completed a piece of artwork that I truly enjoyed creating, and my mind started second guessing- is it good? Are the colors right? Will they like it, etc. your article made me realize that I always go into this mindset & it is completely mechanical! So cool to notice it & see it melt away …

    6. Christina
      Christina says:

      Wow! So glad I read this before my date tonight. I was feeling like that 30 something year old in their article… “why bother” “this will never work” and now I am excited to be going to meet this guy and be able to see him for who he is and not believing the thoughts in my head that it isn’t worth it before I even give it a shot. I feel more crisp and excited to be living again. Thank you!

    7. Madhu
      Madhu says:

      Very practical and a great insight into how we can be free from the shackles of our past. This was a great read to kick-start my weekend off!

    8. Colleen
      Colleen says:

      What a great article! It’s so refreshing to discover and rediscover that my past doesn’t have to dictate the current moment of my life. Thank you for this article, Ariel & Shya. And thank you for writing the amazing books that you write. Your articles and books support me in enjoying my life!

    9. sandy
      sandy says:

      As I read this article I was reminded of my life before I met you both… and how amazing and easy and gorgeous my life is now! My past… my story… no longer has to be un-editable.
      Love from California XXOO


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