Under Construction: The Sign I Wear Mentally !

Topics: , , , , , ,
  • A famous psychologist (his first name is Phil) talks about the fact that we all have pivotal points in our lives; crossroads, if you will, where we can turn down a path of self-pity, victimism, feeling anger at the world and an urge to ‘give up’. Or turning the other way and seeking empowerment, happiness, and a full life.

    empowerment, inspiration, happiness

    In August of 2006, I experienced a harsh, heartbreaking pivotal point in my life when my husband of thirty years died suddenly. He took his own life. Sure, I knew he was going through some kind of mid-life crisis or other. Don’t most men? He bought a new car, set up a home gym and started flirting with women half his age. But nothing prepared me for what he did. To be so unhappy and not share it with SOMEONE? I can’t imagine.

    I have been ‘under construction’ since that fateful day.

    Early on I decided to get into therapy to help with the overwhelming guilt and rage that I felt as a result of his actions. Then as I carefully went through the seven steps of grief (I wanted to be certain that I took the time to heal), I realized that in my forty-five years of adult life, I had never been single.

    Who was I? What kind of individual was I? What were my own thoughts, my own beliefs? What did I think about life without the input of a spouse, a partner, a best friend?

    So I considered myself to be ‘under construction’ now for several years. Rather than choose to have my life end with the death of my husband (as many women my age are wont to do), I decided to re-invent myself. Discover who I am… and work on that individual.

    Am I a kind person? Do I help others? Do I pursue my dreams? Do I go after my goals? Am I happy?

    After seven years I can answer: for the most part, I think I am kind. Yes, I help others. I absolutely pursue my dreams and achieve my goals. And after passing through the grief, anger, denial, pain, tears and confusion, I am very happy. A person can’t sit back and expect happiness to come to them. I believe you have to work for it!

    Trisha Sugarek

    Author, playwright, and poet, Trisha Sugarek has been writing for four decades. Her writing had focused on stage plays that ranged from prison stories to children’s fables. She has expanded her body of work to include two books of poetry, a group of children’s books and her debut novel, Women Outside the Walls.

    She has enjoyed a thirty year career in theatre as an actor and director. Originally from Seattle, she has worked in theatres from coast to coast and her plays have been produced across the country and abroad. Trisha lives in Savannah, Georgia with her two golden retrievers and her kitten, Wild Thang. She is currently at work on her second novel, Wild Violets.

    Released in 2012, a series of 26 “ShortN’Small” short plays, small casts which are used in classrooms in this country and internationally. Trisha has written 45 play scripts.
    Her children’s books are in AUDIO-books now for your smart phone or iPad. Stanley, the Stalwart Dragon is first and is available on amazon.com, iTunes.com and audible.com.

    She has published Monologues 4 Women, a collection of original, contemporary soliloquies for the strong female actor. Several are written specifically for the African-American actress. A chapter on the ‘dos and don’ts’ of auditioning and several classical monologues completes the collection.

    Trisha’s plays and books can be found on her website, writeratplay.com.

    For more information, please visit writeratplay.com.

    View all posts by Trisha Sugarek.

    1. Christina Larsen
      Christina Larsen says:

      Trisha, You are an inspiration! My husband killed himself when he was 32. We were high school sweethearts and had been together 15 years and married for ten. We had two daughters, 3 and 6. About 3 years later I fell in love with my husband and we have been together all these years. We have one daughter together who is now 27. I am now 63 and have found my passion in writing, after teaching school and then becoming an ICU and hospice nurse. Life takes many twists and turns but you have worked hard and healed and that shows in your magnificence.

      • Trisha Sugarek
        Trisha Sugarek says:

        Christina, your sharing has made me feel less alone. Thank you for that. Survivors of suicide have much to deal with and I applaud your courage. No matter what our age when it happens…..it’s still the same pain and confusion. You might enjoy my web site and my blog as it is dedicated to the art of writing…..I try to support other writers and also have monthly interviews with other authors…it’s been wonderful !!
        Sending love and best wishes, Trish


    What Do You Think?

    What Do You Think?