You Get What You Think You’re Going to Get

  • I have a friend named Jamie who lives in a medium sized city where she doesn’t feel like she belongs, but she can’t relocate yet because of her husband’s work. For the last two years she’s tried to meet people but is convinced that there are no “cool people like her” in the entire city. My good friend Tom, who is really great, lives in the same area so yesterday I introduced them on the telephone and they set up a time to meet for coffee. Jamie agreed to meet with Tom because she really wants to meet new friends, but she already had expectations that Tom would “be like everybody else” in her city.

    Jamie just called me to tell me that she’d been “stood up”. She said she’d waited 20 minutes, hadn’t heard anything from Tom, so she went home to walk her dog. When I asked if she called Tom’s cell and she told me she wasn’t “chasing anyone”. She said that if he wanted to talk with her he could call her. She also told me that she didn’t bring Tom’s cell number with her to the meeting. (You can see where this is going already, can’t you?)

    I asked Jamie to imagine for a moment that Tom had lost her cell number, was running late, was stuck in traffic, or had one of a million other legitimate reasons for his delay. She adamantly told me that it wasn’t her problem and that she was going home to walk her dog, and again reiterated that she was right- there are no cool people where she lives.

    As I hung up the telephone I wondered, how many times do we set ourselves up in this way? Our thoughts have great power to create our life. As Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”. In this case Jamie is holding firm to her belief that there are no cool people in her town, and she’s right. She’s looking for experiences to confirm her belief and she keeps finding them. But, what if just for a moment, she believed that her town was full of cool people? My guess is that she’d start seeing them wherever she looked.

    Have you ever bought a new car? You choose the make, the model and the color, all uniquely yours, and then all of a sudden, the world is full of that exact car and you see it everywhere! They were always there- you just weren’t tuned into seeing them.

    In Jamie’s case, she’s looking for situations that will prove her right, instead of make her happy. Each day by holding onto her belief that there are no cool people in her city, she reinforces it with the events that she attracts into her life. The sad thing is, this isn’t what she wants and she doesn’t even know she’s doing it!

    What beliefs are we holding onto that are contrary to what we really want? Do you say things like…“No matter what I eat, I can’t lose weight.” “My boss will never let me take that time off.” “I know he’ll be promoted before I am.” “My kids don’t know how to behave.” “My husband doesn’t appreciate me.” And the list goes on and on, with each comment or thought sending a message to the Universe to bring more circumstances like this to us.

    Instead, try this on for size. Monitor your thoughts and your words for the next day. Just try it for 24 hours. Replace all the negative thoughts and words with positive ones. Just assume that “from your mouth to God’s ears” is true. Whatever you say will become your truth, and whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’ll be right. How does that change things for you? Can you see how just that little shift in your thinking can open doors that were otherwise closed? What do you have to lose by trying it, except some old beliefs that aren’t bringing you what you want anyway? Write and share your experience with us. We look forward to hearing about your success.

    © Gail Lynne Goodwin

    Gail Lynne Goodwin

    Gail Lynne Goodwin is the founder of, bringing the best inspiration to the world. provides free inspiration, each day from a new Inspirational Luminary, to a global community of folks from over 150 countries. Gail has interviewed many well-known names including Sir Richard Branson, Guy Laliberte, Seth Godin, Tony Hseih, Gary Vaynerchuk, Michael Gerber, Marci Shimoff, Jack Canfield and hundreds more. According to Mashable, Gail was one of 2009's Top 25 Most Inspirational People on Twitter. Prior to, Gail spent several years as manager for her recording artist daughter, Carly. As a result of the success of their co-penned song, "Baby Come Back Home", Gail accompanied her daughter to bases in the US and to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba where Carly performed for our troops. Gail and Carly created the 'World's Longest Letter' of love and support and delivered the 18-mile long scroll on a month-long tour of Iraq and the Persian Gulf in 2006. Gail is excited to present her latest course, Love in 21 Days, a step-by-step guide to finding love online. Love in 21 Days is founded on a logical process that has been tested - and proven! - by not only Gail, but also by students around the world who too have found love. Gail is a published author and a regular writer for the Huffington Post. She offers mentoring and mastermind services to clients worldwide from her home in Whitefish, Montana. Follow Gail on Twitter or Google+.

    Recent Releases

    View all posts by Gail Lynne Goodwin.

    1. Mark David Gerson
      Mark David Gerson says:

      Great post, Gail. It’s so true that much of what we speak reveals what we — often unconsciously — believe. It’s not just the obvious negatives that get in our way and impede the divine flow that’s always so eager to move through our lives. It’s words and phrases like these:

      • control, as in “I need to be in control of…” or “I need to control…”

      • impossible, any use, unless preceded by the word “not.”

      • hard, difficult, challenging, as in “It’s hard because…” or “It’s difficult to…” or “It’s challenging to…”

      • not enough, as in “not good enough” or “I don’t have enough…”

      • not as good as, as in “I’m not as good as…”

      • can’t, as in “I can’t do/say…”

      • supposed to, in any context.

      • should, in any context.

      • just or only, as in “I’m just a…” or “I’m only a…”

      When we listen to our own words without judgment and notice what they tell us about our thoughts and beliefs, we can more easily — and with gentleness, compassion and forgiveness — correct them. In doing so, we can radically transform our lives.

      BTW, the above list of words and phrases is adapted from a longer list for writers that’s found in my book, “The Voice of the Muse: Answering the Call to Write.” It took little effort to adapt the list because life and creativity offer so many of the same guiding principles,

      – Mark David

    2. admin
      admin says:

      Dear Mark David,

      I’m looking forward to having you share your information on as an Inspirational Luminary. I agree with your comments. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.




    What Do You Think?

    What Do You Think?