What I Learned From Grief

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If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I'd want to pass along to others...

  • The moment my dad died, my life changed forever. It crystallized the sobering reality that tomorrow or even the next minute is not promised to anyone. I had heard that phrase many times in my life, but to witness my father take his last breath when I was only 20 years old made it come alive inside of me.

    Although we cannot control when or how our story ends, we can maximize the time we have and create a beautiful story for our lives every single day. I am committed to get to the good part and not put my happiness on hold waiting for the chapter when everything is perfect.

    That day may never come so we must create the happiness we seek by being present for each glorious moment. I have learned how to be all the way me and create the life I really want right now in spite of the challenges I face.

    What I know for sure is that we cannot afford to leave room for regrets of “could have”, “should have”, or “would have”. Set your intention every morning when you wake to make each day rich and satisfying as if it were your last.

    Tell the people you love that you love them every day, especially your children and significant other. Hug them and express the love you feel for them by your actions and not just your words.

    Don’t give up on your dreams and settle for the rat race. It will kill your spirit. Life is more than just living for the weekend or in anticipation of a two week vacation every year. Life is about finding and fulfilling your God-given purpose which is not a luxury afforded only to a chosen few. It is a conscious decision we all must make to let our light shine. So find your way to illuminate the world.

    When the challenges of life begin to overwhelm you, get a grip by taking the focus off of yourself. Consciously look around and pay attention to the problems that other people are facing. You will soon realize that you are better off than many and by counting your blessings instead of your problems you will find wealth.

    If you need a self esteem boost, volunteer some time to your community. Giving back to help those that are in need provides a reward that builds authentic self esteem. It will remind you just how much your life matters and how you can make a positive difference in the lives of many.

    Now move confidently in the direction of your dreams and live a life so full and complete that when your story ends you can peacefully say, “I did what I came to do and I don’t want anything more.”

    Sandra Dubose-Gibson

    Sandra Dubose-Gibson is a true testament to the power of faith and the infinite potential of the human spirit in everyone. At 25, she began her journey with hair loss when diagnosed with the incurable autoimmune disease, alopecia areata. Within just a few years she developed complete hair loss all over her entire scalp, face and body. The experience was emotionally devastating and initially caused her to suffer from low self esteem and depression. Over the years through prayer and personal growth, Sandra learned to accept the changes to her self-image and realized that her true beauty comes from within. In 2011 she competed bald in a state wide beauty pageant. She made history and national headlines as the first bald beauty queen of North Carolina when she was crowned 2011 Mrs. Black North Carolina. Sandra is an inspirational speaker and performing artist. Her passion and purpose is to bring awareness to alopecia areata, help women heal from emotional wounds and teach them how to experience personal freedom by developing healthy self esteem. She is the founder of the Alopecia Community of the Triangle and through her company DuboseEntertainment she travels the U.S. sharing her inspiring personal story and using her gift of song to heal and transform lives. Sandra’s debut book, My Crown and Glory, it's NOT about the hair, was released in 2012 to kick off Alopecia Awareness Month. The Bald Beauty Queen of Self Esteem is ruling to set the captives free and the exodus has already begun.

    For more information, please visit SandraDubose.com.

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    1. Della
      Della says:

      This is a beautiful writing. I want to be as strong as you and I pray everyday for that strength. Keep up your great writing.

    2. Janet Komanchuk
      Janet Komanchuk says:

      Thank you Sandra. What a wonderful reminder that each bump in life’s road is an opportunity to learn and grow. You don’t just talk the talk but walk the walk. How many of us promise ourselves we will do whatever it is that will make us happy, that will help others etc. when we retire, when the weekend comes? Instead of wishing our lives away we too can seize the moment and make a difference. We don’t have to look very far to find someone that can benefit from our help, whether it is in the form of a smile, a word of encouragement or a helping hand.


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