The Art of Love Series
Bouncing with Style: Better Boundaries
Yesterday I read a book about boundaries. Why? I had to for one of my upcoming shows. Much to my delight, I started understanding what that bandied-about term meant in relation to me, my family and friends, and my kids. Even my dogs will benefit from my reading the material. We hear a lot in the media about boundaries. Gotta set boundaries. That’s a boundary violation. I have firm boundaries. I have no boundaries. But what does that really mean? I started thinking about how boundaries are being erased as we groove into a society where personal choice often trumps the rights…
There is Only One Entrance
Birth is the only way we enter this world, and death is our only exit. We all share this truth of human existence—and yet our births and our deaths are as individual unique as each of us. Imagine! A new soul, entering the world from the vessel of another body! A new soul, arriving by Divine choice and by Divine selection of a particular mother, a particular father. The miracle of welcoming a new soul affects us so deeply, it’s almost impossible to express everything we hold in our heart. Sit down a group of mothers of any age or…
How Can I Stop Feeling Bad?
"These days I have become so lazy and shiftless! I don't do anything except watch TV and sleep. I wanna do something productive like studying or reading but every time I think about this, I have this bad feeling inside me that I just can't describe, so I convince myself to just relax another time and not do anything. I've been doing this boring routine for like 2 weeks now and I'm sick of this and I really wanna change, but I CAN'T! Please, what should I do to remove all these bad thoughts in me and become determined? Thank…
Don’t Miss This Life-Changing Moment
There are distinct moments in life when the truth comes closer to us. Unfortunately, almost all of these important, potentially life-changing moments are entirely missed, because what is wrong with us, our false nature, sees what is true as an attacking enemy. Let me show you what I mean so that the next time truth makes an unexpected appearance in your life, you will recognize it for what it is: a friendly and beneficial force that is on your side. Permitting the truth to do what it is intended to do will permit you to be what you want to…
Mindful Leadership: Don’t Judge, Come to Understand
Gordon Dean, former head of the Atomic Energy Commission, scrawled the following quote on the back of an envelope found beside him after his death in a plane crash. Never judge people, don’t type them too quickly, but in a pinch, always assume that a man is good and that at worst he is in the gray area between good and bad. Wise words, realized only hours -- possibly moments -- before Mr. Dean tragically died. If you are reading this, then hopefully you have the luxury of more life to live -- and to learn a valuable lesson from…
Mother is the First Beloved
Years ago, I worked with a gifted hypnotherapist. He was a newbie to the craft, just starting out, and I don’t think either he or I understood the scope of his abilities then. Suffice it to say, I went to places and spaces that were far beyond the price of his introductory sessions! We worked together in the dank basement room of a rental office downtown, the kind of place where folks set up flimsy folding tables and phone banks, then clear out overnight to whereabouts unknown. A way stop for fly-by-night businesses, filled with all the ghosts of failed…
Does a Broken Promise Mean a Broken Relationship?
"I'm disappointed by the lack of honesty in the world today. Recently I've had one promise after another broken by various individuals. Does anyone value honesty any more?" ~ Stephen, San Diego, CA Dear Stephen, Feeling that others are dishonest is a sign that your expectations are not aligned. It’s important to clearly communicate what you expect to happen and what you’re willing to do to help make it happen. You have two choices: 1. You can be right. That means that the other person must be wrong if they can’t or won’t meet your preferences. Your inflexibility will drive people…
You Can’t Do It Alone: The Power of Community
It is only in the most recent history that people subscribe to the ideal of "independence," of doing it on your own, of not needing anybody to support you. And in concept, this may be a good idea but only as a concept. We have millions of years of a genetic heritage that argues for community and we have maybe 75 to 100 years that argues for independence. Human beings have survived out of their interdependence, not their independence. When infants are born they are completely helpless and would surely perish if not for the love and care given by…
Health and Wealth Because of a Little Blue Dress
About a month ago, I was in New York City and stopped into Loehmann’s, an off-price store known for great deals on high-end merchandise. I stumbled upon the perfect little blue cocktail dress at the right price and bought it, even though I had no idea where I would wear it. This dress was a designer dress and the original price was over $2000, but it was discounted to only $180. The dress is gorgeous and the perfect color for me. The only thing “wrong” with it, is that it’s the wrong size (or I am), but I bought it…
Father is the First Teacher
My bathing cap is too tight; it doesn’t hold the cascade of hair that someone’s piled on my head in order to squash it on, pull it tight until it covers my ears. When I take it off later, my hair will be sodden, snarled, and the long strands will catch in the cap, causing me to yelp in pain. I wear it, because I want to pretend I am immune from the water: that even when I am submerged, my body will be safe from all that scary wetness. If we wore goggles back then, I’d have put them…
How Do I Live in the Now?
"I've read a lot about living in the present moment, but yet I find myself in the past or the future most of the time, trapped in drama. How does one actually stay IN the present moment? Any hints on tangible things I can do?" ~ Elena, Anchorage, AK Dear Elena, The first step to create any change is to take 100% responsibility for all areas of your life. I notice that in the question, you say that you are "trapped in drama". I understand what you mean, but your language patterns shape your destiny, so consider that you are responsible…
3 Road Blocks to Living the Life of Your Dreams
Most people think that where they are right now “isn’t it” and that something in the future will produce satisfaction. But in reality, this moment is all we have - the past is over and the future hasn't yet arrived. Once we saw a goat who was put out to graze in a lush field. The grass was high and feeding was plentiful. But he wasn't satisfied. He made a funny picture as he strained toward the field next door. His front legs were suspended mid-air, dangling over the fence as he vainly reached for a tempting bit of green,…
How Can I Find My Inner Strength and Purpose?
"How do I discover who I am deep within? How can I realize what's my true passion, my true purpose in life? How can I improve myself? How can I tap into the strength within me? Do help!" ~ Sabha, Alleppey, India Dear Sabha, To discover who you are and what your purpose is, the first question you need to ask yourself is, “What brings me joy?” Your life purpose is always aligned with what fulfills you in your heart. Most people have an idea of what this is, but don’t feel that it is their life purpose. This can…
How Can I Solve My Financial Problems?
"I'm doing financially horrible. I needed to get some food and household items... I was flat broke and I had no other choice than to take my 7 year old boys' Xbox back. I feel so bad, I'm losing sleep. Did I do the right thing?" ~ Tiffany, Effingham, IL Dear Tiffany, We all run into problems from time to time, and often they are of a financial nature. I believe that most of the time, the problem comes from our thoughts. The most difficult thing to do when we don't know how we're going to feed our family is…
The #1 Secret to Being Relaxed, Carefree, and In Command
There is a hidden part of you that knows, without thinking about it, how to always be perfectly relaxed, carefree, and in command. This higher intellectual and emotional intelligence is to your present thoughts and feelings as is the mighty oak to its own spreading branches. Once you come into contact with its perfect strength and power, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it. Great masters of the past have called this part of us by different names - none any better than the rest - but the one that seems most complete is... your Original Fearless Self. The…