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Forgiveness
You cannot move toward the future if you are chained to the past. Clinging to the frayed threads of hope in a pain-filled life cannot sustain you, and telling yourself to “hold on” or “hang in there” does nothing to move you forward. The first step to emotional freedom and healing is to let go of the past.

Understand that not every injustice in the world will be punished, at least not in this lifetime. Carrying the hurt and resentment of negative experiences does not affect the offenders, it only affects you.

Forgiveness is liberating. When a person is forgiven, the greatest benefit goes to the one who does the forgiving. You may never forget, but when you forgive those who have wronged you, you sever the toxic bonds that fuel the hate and anger preventing you from building a better life.

Accountability
Difficult life circumstances may have been beyond your control as a child but, as you get older, the choices you make are your own. You can choose to remain the victim of your circumstances or you can choose to take on the new role of survivor. We are each solely responsible for what becomes of our life.

Changing yourself is often far less painful than remaining in an unbearable life that was shaped by misfortune.

Letting go of past pain does not happen in an instant. The progress is often as slow as a snail’s pace, but every inch forward is still progress. Fill the void once engulfed by the pain with thoughts and deeds that lead you closer to the life you had always imagined but didn’t feel you deserved.

If you feel trapped, it is at your own hand, and by your own hand you can be set free.

Self-worth
If you believe you are beaten, then you are.

If you think that resorting to violence, spitefulness or retaliation is a solution, then you haven’t explored all of your options.

You cannot gain respect from others if you do not respect yourself.

Believe that a new life awaits you. Plan for and take the steps necessary to make it a reality, no matter how small each step seems to be.

Acceptance
You can’t have everything your own way. Life is not just about you, it’s about everyone and how we all relate to one another.

The tricks to mastering your life is to know when to stand your ground and when to take whatever comes your way and adjust to it. This simplified formula for a better life is infused with an abundance of transformational power. If one really understands this magical process, then good things will happen in your life.

Accept love. Give love. This give and take of caring for one another can truly change the world.

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Tim Hutchinson is the author of Painful Secrets, a soul-bearing account of his troubled youth and ongoing desire and challenges for change. Bullied as a child and raised in an abusive household, he quickly turned to violence—the only coping tool he understood. Always wanting a different life but not knowing how to get it,Hutchinson continued a life of crime well into his 20s and became involved in things like kidnapping, assault, drug dealing, and attempted murder. 

Eventually, with the love and acceptance he found through his wife, Jennifer – and guidance from a mentor who had survived an extended encounter with Hitler—Hutchinson turned his life around, survived a life-threatening illness and learned to advocate within the system to get what he needed. Now a devoted husband and family man, Hutchinson shares his experiences and life lessons to help others lift themselves up from the devastation of similar circumstances.

Hutchinson spent more than a decade speaking to teens, parents and educators across the country about bullying and the cycle of violence – and how to stop them. Because of his powerful message of hope and extending his hand to help, he has been credited with stopping four school shootings and preventing more than fifty teen suicides. 

Hutchinson now shares free copies of Bully Proof, an eBook that details the techniques for dealing with bullies that he taught in his workshops and presentations. Bully Proof is appropriate for teens, parents and educators who need help and guidance to stop the bullying and prevent teen violence. Bully Proof is available at thebullydoctor.org.

For more information, please visit thebullydoctor.org

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