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Empowerment is the through-line in of all Sandra Beck’s work. Whether she is coaching a company owner to a million dollar commission goal, training a stay-at-home mom to perform SEO on web sites, or speaking to a group of women who are in recovery, Sandra's message is about what is possible and how to create the circumstances of your choosing.

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Bouncing with Style: Rant Windows

Letting go of bitterness: HAHAHA HAAHAHAHA HAHAHHAH! Oh, sorry. That was my first reaction to writing about this topic, thanks to my wingman. Hmmmm. I thought to myself. How can I make anger and bitterness following divorce entertaining, empowering and not a stuffy lecture about how it's going to give you cancer. I did a bit of research on letting it go and the experts said I should feel it fully. Others should too. I'm supposed to "give myself a rant window." That's a good name for my blogs. Rant Windows!  So here we go... let's feel the full brunt…

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Bouncing with Style: Yoga Did Not Help Me Learn to Forgive

One of the things I tried was yoga to get through the aftermath of my divorce. So many people told me it helped them process the pain of infidelity, manage the stress of raising children alone and get centered as I rebuilt my life. It worked for them. It did not work for me. Not even close. Instead of my usual weepy pain filled blogs, I am going to brighten your day and talk about why yoga did not help me forgive. I did really give it my all. I bought yoga pants, a floral yoga top and crinkly new pink…

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Bouncing with Style: The Upside of Anger and Bitterness

It's no surprise that infidelity and divorce leaves you angry and bitter. This is normal. This is natural. And when I look back at that difficult time, I like to reminisce about some of the bitter, angry things I did to get through the day. They strike me as funny today. I know we are supposed to take care of ourselves, but it's also great when you can look back at the things you did to get rid of some of the toxic feelings and laugh. For me, I took abject delight in an incident that happened at my youngest son’s…

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Bouncing with Style: When Does Divorce Stop Hurting?

By Sandra Beck. This week my six-year-old son had a stomach ache. On the way to school he had an accident in his pants and since it was technically the day of obligation for my ex-husband, I called him from the school parking lot telling him that his son had the stomach flu. I was told that he would pick him up from my house that afternoon at 4:15. I was outraged and not surprised that sick kid duty falls on me, despite the fact that I had work meetings in the city and to prepare for my live radio…

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Bouncing with Style: After the Affair

I have been asked a number of times in women's groups, women's recovery groups and group counseling to share my story. I was listening in one of these groups the other night where I was a speaker and I hear the same things over and over and I want to share them here. I am doing this because when we share the same feelings in a similar experience we no longer feel alone, isolated, or well… just plain crazy.  When your spouse cheats on you, many of the following can happen to you: You might feel dizzy, disoriented, and the…

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Bouncing with Style: From Pain to Productivity

One of the things that happens when you divorce, when your spouse has an affair and you are left to pick up the pieces, raise your children alone or pay off massive debt is that you get a whole bucket of pain that seems to refresh on a daily basis. It's hard sometimes to figure out the source of the pain: anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, disbelief, worry, fear, jealousy... well, you get the point. The end result is you hurt. And you hurt in a way that for many of us after a long marriage is only familiar in a…

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Bouncing with Style: Reverse Forgiveness

One of the things that strikes me on a weekly basis is how I can in one week forgive my ex-husband for his cheating and abandonment of me and then the next week I'm back to hating his guts and those of Bozo his mistress. Am I bitter? You bet. Angry? Totally. Able to let it go and move on... not so much. What I have found with forgiveness is that it's not really a one-shot deal. Now sometimes it's because the original sin is aggravated. When my ex gave my child's mother's day card, made in his kindergarten class,…

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Bouncing with Style: Old Sayings Prove True

It is said that old sayings prove true. When I was writing the title to this blog post, I was thinking to myself, "Could it get any more cheese ball than this? I’m starting to sound like my mother." But I realized today that she was right and most of those hokey-dokey sayings have a lot of truth to them. You are what you think about all day long. Recently I have gone through separation, divorce, death, foreclosure, custody battles and a financial upheaval in my personal life. Most of these things were out of my control and I had…

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Bouncing with Style: The Inexhaustible Resource

By Sandra Beck. I am not an inexhaustible resource. I didn't say these words until I turned 40. I really thought before that if I put my mind to it, if I just did a little each day, if I wished, prayed, manifested and poked voodoo dolls I could muscle it and make it come true. I really think that before my life collapsed, I really truly thought I could do anything I set my mind to, that I would find the time in my day to do the things that were important to me and I would somehow find…

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Bouncing with Style: Forgiveness

Nearly everyone has been hurt by something someone said, did or didn't do. It's just a fact of life. It's just the way it is. The sooner we understand that and the sooner we understand that it's not always about us, the faster we can deal with it and move on with our lives. When my husband left me with two small children while my mother was dying of breast cancer, the word forgiveness did not enter my vocabulary. I was so busy managing the day-to-day chaos of sickness, a premature baby and an ornery toddler that I didn’t have…

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Bouncing with Style: Taking a Risk

By Sandra Beck. I pushed my stroller into the law office dragging a grape juice-stained three year old boy as his little brother pounded on the tray complete with all those little plastic jangling things that were supposed to keep him busy. Clearly they irritated him as he let out a wail and now they also irritated me. An impossibly groomed receptionist looked alarmed at the rag tag crew that just rolled into her fancy office. This was a law firm specializing in divorce. This can’t be the first time someone flung cheerios under the fancy leather couches. They should…

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Bouncing with Style: Have You Seen My Self Esteem?

By Sandra Beck. When people hear my story of heroically leaving a cheating husband while my mother dies of cancer with two small babies while building a solid business and creating two popular radio shows, it sounds really glamorous. Even to me and I lived it, but I’m here to tell you the truth. It was pretty ugly. My husband moved out and he had been living in a spare bedroom for a year, so you would think it wouldn’t be a shock to my system, but it was. I cried every day for 43 straight days. I noted it…

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