By Lisa Cypers Kamen.
Every day we are surrounded by illusion. The illusion of television, or images we interpret and even those magic tricks that entertain and enthrall at our children’s parties.
We love illusion, but illusion is one of those elements that make it difficult for us to feel happy if we don’t recognize that happiness is an inside job.
Have you ever noticed that when you are single, the couples around you laughing and enjoying each other magnify your singleness? What happens when you see a couple bitterly fighting or dragging their grocery bags as they glare at each other? Does that make your singleness an asset?
Is happiness an illusion? Is it based on a set of external conditions and circumstances?
The answer in this case is yes – that happiness is an illusion. It’s not real. It’s temporary and based on a bunch of conditions that may or may not be true.
Happiness that is cultivated from the inside is lasting and true. It doesn’t depend on looks, money, other people, a fancy car or a large house. It comes from within and knowing that external happiness is a condition – an illusion, if you will, can make the difference between a happy life and a life searching for meaning.
Lisa Cypers Kamen is a filmmaker, positive psychology coach, author, host of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio, professor and lecturer specializing in the field of sustainable happiness. She is widely recognized as an expert on the subject. Lisa’s acclaimed documentary film co-produced with her now fifteen year-old daughter, Kayla, “H-Factor…Where is your heart?” explores how people in varied circumstances find, generate and share happiness. In addition to her film on happiness, Lisa has also published a number of articles and books entitled, Got Happiness Now?, Are We Happy Yet?, Leadership: Helping Others to Succeed and Reintegration Strategies, about combat trauma and using positive psychology principles to create wellness in a post-war new normal. Lisa’s written work is featured on blogs for the Huffington Post, PositivelyPositive.com and InspireMeToday.com and she is a TEDx community event speaker. In addition, she is the Happiness Expert for the Florida Department of Citrus/ Florida Orange Juice in its Take on the Day campaign.
Harvesting Happiness for Heroes™ is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation that delivers stigma-free integrated combat trauma recovery services to warriors and their loved ones. Modalities include scientifically proven strengths based Positive Psychology coaching and interdisciplinary tools such as film, yoga, meditation, art and creative writing designed to mindfully empower the client to achieve increased self-mastery, self-esteem and reclaim her/his life. HH4Heroes focuses on the balance of mind, body and emotion resulting in greater overall wellbeing and the transformation of Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS) into Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). HH4Heroes offers retreat workshops, one-on-one coaching, Battle Buddy programs, as well as our new R.E.B.O.O.T Online virtual community coaching classrooms designed to reach underserved areas. In addition, HH4Heroes deploys Return to Duty™ civilian and corporate training to help welcome a warrior home and into the community and workplace.
Lisa is committed to teaching Happiness is an inside job™ and helping others end their needless suffering through intentionally cultivating greater joy.
Thanks for an excellent post, Lisa.
When I was single I was often grateful for it. I did not envy those who were married.
I look at life differently now, though. I got married on February 17. Every day my husband and I work at being happy. How I wish the days could be expanded as easily as an accordion.
B. Lynn Goodwin
http://www.writeradvice.com
Author of You Want Me to Do WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers
Nice points about real happiness emerging from inside, Lisa. Sometimes, we all forget that we need to build things from the inside if we want them to last. Thanks for the reminder!