Where in your life are you settling? This past weekend I had a long conversation with a friend who unexpectedly announced she’s getting married. Usually that’s cause for celebration but in this case it isn’t. My reason for saying that is this- she’s getting married for the sake of not being alone, rather than because she believes this man is the love of her life. As she says, “We’re good friends and I don’t believe I’ll ever find bliss, so it’s better to settle than be alone”.
While I understand her not wanting to be alone, part of me is screaming, “Yes, but if you settle, you close the door for bliss to ever enter!”
Most of us would probably tell her that she should wait until she meets the right man, or find a way to be happy on her own, or all kinds of other well-intended advice to prevent her from settling. Yet we all settle in some way or another in our own life.
This made me ask myself the question…“Where am I settling in my life and more importantly, why do we settle?” As I’m writing this I’m hearing the voice of Jennifer Nettles of the country band Sugarland singing “I ain’t settling for anything less than everything“. Yet, we do it every day.
I believe that most times we settle for one reason. As much as we may want something, we don’t believe that we deserve or can have the best that life has to offer. Deep down inside, we believe that certain things- health, wealth, abundance or love- are for “other” people. Wouldn’t now be a good time to change that thought and realize that if we are deserving of breath in this very moment, we are deserving of all of the splendor that life has to offer?
What would life look like if you knew without a doubt that you deserved the dream you’ve been dreaming? How would it feel like to wake up and know that it is attainable? If you’re anything like me, just thinking that thought provides a wonderful sense of hope and excitement.
It all starts with vision, intention and belief.
Vision: If you want a great relationship, job, dream or anything else, get clear on what you want. When I knew that I wanted to find the love of my life, I sat down and made a list of 157 traits that I wanted in this man. Then, I focused on those things and celebrated finding this “perfect” man- before I ever met him. Celebrating in advance has a magical way energetically of attracting this into your life. Creating the vision is the first step.
Intention: Move forward as if it’s already happened. If you’re waiting to do step B until step A happens, take action as if step A has already occurred. Step out and state your intention to the Universe and from that action more doors will open to take you to step B. It seems counter intuitive but if you clearly state your intention through your actions, it will move your closer to achieving your dreams.
Belief: No matter what life might look like for you today, believe that the sun will come out tomorrow. Believe that the life you so desire CAN be yours. Believe that the right mate, job, opportunity or dream is waiting for you. Belief has a strong way of attracting what you want into your life.
Lastly, think about this…. If other people have achieved their goal or found what they want in their life, then you know it’s possible, right? And if it’s possible, why shouldn’t the same principles hold true for you? (They do).
I have a friend named Niki who put bright yellow Post-It notes throughout her home saying nothing more than, “Why Not Me!” Those three little words helped her move from a place of settling and empowered her to remember that someone has to win the lottery, someone has to find the man of their dreams, someone has to succeed in business…. so WHY NOT ME! As a side note, within two years of doing this project she created a successful business that generated over $7 million in profits- which she donated to orphanages in third world countries- All from not settling for anything less than everything, and from asking Why Not Me?!
I encourage you to look at your life and ask the same questions. Where are you settling and why? You deserve the very best that life has to offer. Create the vision, act from your intention and move forward with belief. Remember, if someone has to do great things or create abundance in their life- why not you?