By Trisha Sugarek.
Last year I updated my website and discovered blogging. Now, you may ask, what has that to do with self-growth, self-love, or well being??
Writing a blog about what I love most in my life: writing. In doing so I have grown as a writer and as a person seeking self truth. In some strange way (and even though I am writing fiction), my writing keeps me honest… about life and about myself. I believe that if just one person starts writing, because of my blog, I have succeeded. I will probably never know if anyone was inspired by my writing and that’s okay. What a bonus!
I lost someone very close to me to suicide several years ago. As most writers will tell you, “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger and someday you may be able to use it in a story.” After many years of healing from that loss I did write a fictional version of the events and in the writing of it, I was able to continue to heal. It was cathartic and also helped me to understand the person who took his own life. I thought I knew him, but alas, I did not.
That the most jovial, good natured person can be hiding behind laughter. That deep inside there may be pain so great that it cannot be borne any longer. Regardless of how selfish an act of suicide is, it’s the only answer at that given moment. To do anything to end the buried pain; a burden that can be shared with no one else.
I look at others differently now. What lurks below the façade? Are the beautiful and successful people really happy and fulfilled? Or are they just like me? Full of the remorse, pain, joy, love, anger, guilt, disappointment, doubt and hope that life tends to heap on us, sometimes in un-equal measure.
We are really only responsible for ourselves and the little control we truly have is only about ourselves. In a previous Inspire Me Today piece, I talked about trying to fix others. It simply can’t be done. But we can continue to look at ourselves, be inspired to be a better person, to be kind and generous and, above all, to love.
I’ve embraced an attitude that I rely on when I or others are critical of someone else’s actions. I now believe that we, as flawed and confused human beings, stumble along through life doing the best that we can do at any given moment. Some of us are seeking a better self. Working to behave with dignity, to learn, to achieve a quality of grace in this mad, mad world.
Photo Credit: Max Elman