By Lisa Cypers Kamen.
Before you think of Cinderella and the three fairy godmothers, I want you to think about how many times you think about what you want or what you wish for. I want, I wish, and only if are some of the phrases we use to describe an ambiguous point in our future when we will have what we think we need to be happy. In the present moment, we are left feeling unfulfilled.
We are living with a sense of longing for a brighter future. We are hoping to change our current situation so that we can finally, finally be happy. And what are the things we need to be happy? A relationship? A new home? A new car? A new job? There are many, many requirements we have for happiness.
How long are we going to wait until we decide that we are happy whether or not our life changes to meet our expectations? Quite possibly our expectations are blocking the road to happiness. After all, we can be happy right here and right now if we choose it.
Our H-Factor, or our happiness factor, is not dependent on external circumstances. We live in a material world where success and status is measured by the quantity of material possessions we acquire, and this persuades us to believe that we will find happiness through acquisition of possessions. We spend many years of our lives acquiring the things we think will bring us happiness.
Of course, there can be great enjoyment and pleasure in material belongings, but beneath it all, this is not the source of our happiness. Our happiness comes from a deep and untouchable place within us. When we stop seeking the answer to our happiness from the outside world, we realize that happiness is a state of being that exists within us.
All we need to do to find nirvana is make a choice. We can choose to be happy. We ultimately find our happiness within the inner sanctum of ourselves.
Is it really that simple? Yes.
Lisa Cypers Kamen is a filmmaker, positive psychology coach, author, host of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio, professor and lecturer specializing in the field of sustainable happiness. She is widely recognized as an expert on the subject. Lisa’s acclaimed documentary film co-produced with her now fifteen year-old daughter, Kayla, “H-Factor…Where is your heart?” explores how people in varied circumstances find, generate and share happiness. In addition to her film on happiness, Lisa has also published a number of articles and books entitled, Got Happiness Now?, Are We Happy Yet?, Leadership: Helping Others to Succeed and Reintegration Strategies, about combat trauma and using positive psychology principles to create wellness in a post-war new normal. Lisa’s written work is featured on blogs for the Huffington Post, PositivelyPositive.com and InspireMeToday.com and she is a TEDx community event speaker. In addition, she is the Happiness Expert for the Florida Department of Citrus/ Florida Orange Juice in its Take on the Day campaign.
Harvesting Happiness for Heroes™ is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation that delivers stigma-free integrated combat trauma recovery services to warriors and their loved ones. Modalities include scientifically proven strengths based Positive Psychology coaching and interdisciplinary tools such as film, yoga, meditation, art and creative writing designed to mindfully empower the client to achieve increased self-mastery, self-esteem and reclaim her/his life. HH4Heroes focuses on the balance of mind, body and emotion resulting in greater overall wellbeing and the transformation of Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS) into Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). HH4Heroes offers retreat workshops, one-on-one coaching, Battle Buddy programs, as well as our new R.E.B.O.O.T Online virtual community coaching classrooms designed to reach underserved areas. In addition, HH4Heroes deploys Return to Duty™ civilian and corporate training to help welcome a warrior home and into the community and workplace.
Lisa is committed to teaching Happiness is an inside job™ and helping others end their needless suffering through intentionally cultivating greater joy.
Hi Lisa, I agree that it is simply a matter of choice. But sometimes that takes courage and faith and, of course, the right attitude. Thanks again and take care, Stephen
Good morning Stephen!
Thanks for writing. Choice is a great place to start. Using our character strengths to bolster us during challenges is a great self-honoring step towards courage, faith and attitude.
Have a stellar day!
Lisa
Thank You Lisa. I completely agree with everything you said but sometimes people find it very difficult to intentionally make that decision of being happy. This is especially true for people that are depressed to some extent. They tend to see the half-empty glass and to them it even looks 90% or 99% empty. What might help is to focus your attention on the positive things in your life. Your achievements and accomplishments so far, your small or big successes. There is always something you can and should be grateful for. When you focus on the good things in life, it is much easier to feel happy and satisfied with what you already have. You can then continue to pursue other and bigger goals but you do it from a place of power and satisfaction.
Kind Regards, Yuval
Hi Yuval!
Thanks for taking the time to write and share. Happiness can be very complicated for some people. The beauty of positive psychology coaching tools is that it allows us establish and focus on what is right with life versus what is wrong. If we can change our attitudes even just half an inch we can change our world.
Rome was not built in a day. Sometimes we need to just focus on the very moment we are in and gradually increase the scope to the hours, day, months, etc…
I had a professor who once taught us to do life in three foot tosses. To me that means one day and step at a time showing up for life positively and fully.
Have a wonderful day!
Lisa
Hi Lisa, If you are not happy for what you have and grateful for it, you never going to be happy for what you get. we have a home a comfortable bed, TV, computers, Laptop, phones, mobile phones, and all the other things but we are not happy and not grateful for it, there are lot of people all around the globe, most of them don’t have any of these. So its important to be happy and grateful for what we have to start with which is one thing.
One day I was travelling in the bus I feel miserable for something. when the bus stop at the next stop there were young men and women board the bus.They were using sign language (lacking speech) and were very happy and laughing and joking. Look at me I can talk still miserable. This also shows happiness is your choice. Our happiness comes from a deep and untouchable place within us Thank you and my blessings.