By Lisa Cypers Kamen.
The simple, honest answer is no. You may experience a sense of happiness or temporary happiness but it won’t last.
Connected closely with beauty are five things that you think will make you happy, but in the end really won’t. In no particular order, they are:
Fame. Studies show nothing is more stressful for a human than when their goals are tied to the approval of others. Particularly when those “others” are an enormous crowd of fickle strangers holding you up to an unrealistic ideal built by publicists, thick makeup and heavily Photoshopped magazine covers.
Wealth. Your brain adjusts feelings of happiness downward after you’ve reached some goal or other. It regulates the good feelings, presumably so that you have motivation to reach the next goal instead of just lounging by the pool for the rest of your days. Also, as social creatures, we compare ourselves with others, so we think wealth is necessary to happiness – but it isn’t.
Beauty. Remember that beautiful people have the same self-esteem issues that those who are perceived as less beautiful have. Being physically attractive may have advantages, but it won’t make you happy.
Genius. This is being used in a much broader sense, meaning anyone with an extraordinary talent or skill.
Power. All the other aspects mentioned above are all about power. Think about it. Fame is about having power in the relationship with the fans. Beauty is about gaining power through others’ sexual desire and jealousy. Genius means society needs your skills more than you need its approval. Money . . . well, money and power are connected.
Remember, these things might give you fleeting satisfaction, but whether you have them or not, you can still choose to be happy. Happiness is an inside job®.
Lisa Cypers Kamen is a filmmaker, positive psychology coach, author, host of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio, professor and lecturer specializing in the field of sustainable happiness. She is widely recognized as an expert on the subject. Lisa’s acclaimed documentary film co-produced with her now fifteen year-old daughter, Kayla, “H-Factor…Where is your heart?” explores how people in varied circumstances find, generate and share happiness. In addition to her film on happiness, Lisa has also published a number of articles and books entitled, Got Happiness Now?, Are We Happy Yet?, Leadership: Helping Others to Succeed and Reintegration Strategies, about combat trauma and using positive psychology principles to create wellness in a post-war new normal. Lisa’s written work is featured on blogs for the Huffington Post, PositivelyPositive.com and InspireMeToday.com and she is a TEDx community event speaker. In addition, she is the Happiness Expert for the Florida Department of Citrus/ Florida Orange Juice in its Take on the Day campaign.
Harvesting Happiness for Heroes™ is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation that delivers stigma-free integrated combat trauma recovery services to warriors and their loved ones. Modalities include scientifically proven strengths based Positive Psychology coaching and interdisciplinary tools such as film, yoga, meditation, art and creative writing designed to mindfully empower the client to achieve increased self-mastery, self-esteem and reclaim her/his life. HH4Heroes focuses on the balance of mind, body and emotion resulting in greater overall wellbeing and the transformation of Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS) into Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). HH4Heroes offers retreat workshops, one-on-one coaching, Battle Buddy programs, as well as our new R.E.B.O.O.T Online virtual community coaching classrooms designed to reach underserved areas. In addition, HH4Heroes deploys Return to Duty™ civilian and corporate training to help welcome a warrior home and into the community and workplace.
Lisa is committed to teaching Happiness is an inside job™ and helping others end their needless suffering through intentionally cultivating greater joy.
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