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By Gail Lynne Goodwin.

A few days ago I had a conversation with a friend (we’ll call him Bob), who was frustrated because he wanted a job opportunity that was offered to one of his coworkers. Bob saw this new opportunity as the answer to his prayers.

As you can imagine, when it was offered to someone else, Bob was upset. To him, everything is black or white, and when things didn’t happen in the way that he thought that he needed for them to happen, his entire world crumbled.

What Bob didn’t realize was that this situation could be a blessing instead. In talking together, Bob started to see what happens when you live in the gray – rather than insisting on black or white.

When we’re faced with difficult and sometimes painful decisions, rather than looking at the situation as black or white, I invite you to welcome the gray into your life.


Living in the gray is being open to possibility without limitation.

It’s inviting the wisdom of the Universe to solve what you might perceive as a problem, rather than feeling like you have to tackle life alone.

It’s allowing for things to show up in your life in a better way than you could have imagined.

It’s letting go of the need to control how things happen.

It’s trusting that the Universe has your back, and that sometime, it wants to surprise and delight you beyond your wildest dreams.

Rather than focusing on WHAT you want, focus instead on WHY you want what you want. When you know the feeling that you’re looking for rather than the specifics, the doors to possibility are thrown open.

As an example, I have a friend named Jean who desperately wanted to have children, but she fell madly in love with an older man who already had kids, and didn’t want to start another family. Jean was wise in that she was able to focus on the “feeling” that she believed she would have as a mother, and was open to the possibility of finding that feeling in another way.

Within weeks she adopted three orphanages in Guatemala and is now the “mother” to hundreds of children. When her (now) husband travels for business, “Mama Jeannie” heads south to spend time with “her kids”, for at least a week each month. By being open to possibility and living in the gray, she’s now making a difference as the beloved mother to hundreds of children. And, she feels more fulfilled than she could ever have imagined!

Likewise, for Bob, by focusing on what he thought he would feel if he’d received that job, the Universe goes to work on bringing it to him. Rather than sulking and feeling sorry for himself, he’s starting to live in the gray, in a world where he doesn’t have to have all of the answers, and in a place where things don’t have to be black or white.

What you’re looking for may not show up in the way that you think it must. But just because it doesn’t, that doesn’t mean that your prayers aren’t being answered.

If you can focus on why you want what you want, and be flexible in how it shows up in your life, chances are it will bring more joy to you than if you’d gotten what you thought you wanted in the first place.

I think you’ll find that living in the gray is an interesting yet very rewarding place to be.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

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Gail Lynne Goodwin is the founder of, bringing the best inspiration to the world. provides free inspiration, each day from a new Inspirational Luminary, to a global community of folks from over 150 countries. Gail has interviewed many well-known names including Sir Richard Branson, Guy Laliberte, Seth Godin, Tony Hseih, Gary Vaynerchuk, Michael Gerber, Marci Shimoff, Jack Canfield and hundreds more. According to Mashable, Gail was one of 2009's Top 25 Most Inspirational People on Twitter.

Prior to, Gail spent several years as manager for her recording artist daughter, Carly. As a result of the success of their co-penned song, "Baby Come Back Home", Gail accompanied her daughter to bases in the US and to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba where Carly performed for our troops. Gail and Carly created the 'World's Longest Letter' of love and support and delivered the 18-mile long scroll on a month-long tour of Iraq and the Persian Gulf in 2006.

Gail is excited to present her latest course, Love in 21 Days, a step-by-step guide to finding love online. Love in 21 Days is founded on a logical process that has been tested - and proven! - by not only Gail, but also by students around the world who too have found love.

Gail is a published author and a regular writer for the Huffington Post. She offers mentoring and mastermind services to clients worldwide from her home in Whitefish, Montana. Follow Gail on Twitter or Google+.

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