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As an adult, I made comfortable choices. And why shouldn’t I? My childhood was a barrage of chores (I grew up on a farm) before the innocence of it all was stripped from me in the form of child abuse. The roller coaster that followed looked something like: fear, self-doubt, self-blame, depression, self-loathing, self-abuse, suicidal thoughts, recovery, more self-doubt, drugs…

Once I was able to control my life, my goal was to be comfortable at all costs. I made choices that made me feel good, satisfied, and relaxed. “After all,” I thought to myself, “Don’t I deserve to be comfortable?”

The problem with comfort is how deceptive it is. Sure, on the surface, it looks like a good idea. Heck, it feels like a good idea. But in my never-ending efforts to make myself more comfortable, I had actually made myself unhappy and stuck. I was making absolutely no effort to move forward in my life.

Comfort lures you with promises of immediate satisfaction. It’s what keeps you from trying new things, from pushing yourself, from taking a leap of faith. It’s what keeps you from being who you were meant to be. For me, comfort became a companion that kept me in a job I hated and away from dating, exercising, and trying anything new. In my effort to make myself comfortable, I had stopped living.

So, what’s living?

Living is knowing:

  • What you like and what you don’t like
  • That you CAN push past what your mind thinks you can do
  • That you have friends that would answer your call at 2am
  • That you’ve helped someone else to accomplish their dreams
  • That you have boundless talent, joy and brilliance inside of you just waiting to burst out!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ever be comfortable! Comfort should be where you go when you need rejuvenation. It just shouldn’t be where you stay.

There’s a “you” deep inside of you that wants you to be happy. A “you” that wants you to have some courageous conversations with yourself. The kind of conversations that question why you make some of the choices that you do. Why you aren’t loving yourself and taking care of yourself the way that the “you” deep inside of you wants you to. There’s a “you” that wants you to become bound and determined to accomplish your dreams no matter how uncomfortable the road is along the way.

So, I ask you… are you making comfortable choices or are you making choices that will help you to live? Because, I’ll tell you, living is more amazing than you can imagine! We all have greatness within us that is waiting for us to believe. Once we believe, the foundation is in place for our greatness to take a foothold and grow.

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Deidre Hughey’s personal story of victory in the face of overwhelming odds is an inspiration to youth, parents and educators alike. She is passionate about challenging people to think bigger, live bolder and pursue the goals that inspire them – personally and professionally – with greater clarity, confidence and courage.

Deidre is a nationally recognized speaker and the author of the book I Am Bound and Determined: The Must Read Guide for Women of Childhood Abuse and Trauma. Deidre is also a columnist for Carolina Business Connections, a recognized expert on Love Your Life Again, and the producer and host of Deidre’s 3 Steps Forward on WCOM 103.5FM in Carrboro and Chapel Hill, NC which has been featured in Talk Radio Wants You published by McFarland & Co.

Deidre has been in one form of marketing and personal development for more than 20 years. As a result, she has been a welcome guest on NBC-17 and has interviewed some of the top personal and business development experts in the country, such as: Pam Lontos, Shel Horowitz, Karyn Greenstreet, Peggy Collins, Jacqueline Kelm, and Nancy Solomon. She offers free tips, fun and encouragement in her newsletter which is available at and archives of her radio program are available at

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