What Matters Most is How You See Yourself

  • By Vicki Savini.

    When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Better yet, what do you feel? You may think a mirror is just for brushing your teeth, styling your hair, or examining your overall appearance, but the mirror can actually be a very powerful tool.

    I am the youngest child in my family. I grew up with two loving parents and three older sisters, so I certainly wasn’t starved for attention. I was a dancer, a singer, an artist, and even a writer. I had hard working parents who taught us to be kind, generous, and always help others. I was praised for my efforts in everything I did, and told how good (and sometimes bad) I was. Ultimately, I learned to base my self-esteem, self-image, and self-identity on the thoughts and opinions of others.

    But that’s all different now…

    Childhood is a brief moment in our existence that impacts the rest of our life. It truly is our foundation. As parents, we do the best we can with our children. Since they don’t come with instruction manuals, we simply try our hardest to nurture, love, and shape them based on our own experiences. Most teachers, parents, and child care workers, want to give children tools for success, but many don’t know where to begin.

    That’s why I want to give you this empowering tool that you can use on yourself or the children in your life…

    As a child, I was praised by others but I was never told that in order to feel peace and happiness, I needed to like the person staring back at me in the mirror. I was never asked how I felt about my performance, my accomplishments, or my feelings. Often, when I felt sad or disappointed, I was told that I had done well and I should be proud, but I didn’t feel proud and it didn’t feel right to ignore my true feelings.

    My experience has taught me to allow children to feel their feelings. I encourage you to let children know that it’s absolutely necessary to allow their feelings to occur naturally, no matter how sad, angry, or frustrated they may be. Even if there are accompanying tears, these feelings are important and must be felt and processed. Hold your children when they feel sad or disappointed (without offering a solution), and allow them to get it all out. Then, look into their eyes and tell them that it is completely acceptable to feel however they are feeling. Once the feelings have moved through them, try asking what they would like to change in the future. Give them something to look forward to.

    Finally, take this experience and turn it into a gift. Each day, have your child look in the mirror and practice turning their thoughts around. If they feel inadequate in math, have them look in the mirror and say, “I am getting better at math every day.” If they feel like they have no friends, teach them to look in the mirror and say, “I am a likable person and I make new friends easily.” Most importantly, encourage them, every day, to affirm, “I am important!”

    When we teach children to look at themselves with love and acceptance, even when they are not feeling their very best, we teach them to honor and love the person in the mirror, and this is the greatest gift of all. See your brilliance, and they will see theirs as well.

    Photo Credit: Lushei (Flickr)

    Vicki Savini

    Vicki Savini is a teacher who educates, enlightens, and empowers children and adults to be their absolute best. Having worked with children since she was a teen herself, Vicki has a gift for seeing the world through the eyes of a child. She inspires them to speak their truth, while also helping adults understand the importance of childhood. As a schoolteacher, she taught mindful principles in her classroom long before it was considered acceptable.

    In addition to her experience in the fields of education and psychology, she’s trained in the healing arts and overall wellness. She is a licensed Science of Mind practitioner, Reiki energy worker, and talented life coach.

    Vicki is a dynamic and inspiring speaker who recently presented a live event through Hay House titled, Ignite the Light: Creating Strong Foundations for Children & Adults. She assists people of all ages through individual consultations and group workshops by using her real-world experiences and eclectic background to help them believe in themselves and live their truth.

    For more information, please visit vickisavini.com.

    View all posts by Vicki Savini.

    1. Jan Hempstead
      Jan Hempstead says:

      As a mom of adult children, I still find it difficult not to offer solutions, to just let them freely share their feelings. I feel blessed though, that they are still comfortable openly sharing them with me.

      Thank you for the reminder to allow that to happen so they can process. I know I certainly need to process my feelings.

      I am learning to love the person in the mirror and know that as I heal and see my brilliance, they too will see theirs.

      Much gratitude to you for sharing this…


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