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We are our own worst enemy when we indulge in negative thinking. A major problem in this regard is that, for the most part, we’re so used to our negative thinking that we aren’t even aware when we’re doing it. Consequently, we need to listen closely to the content of our thoughts.

When we recognize negative, catastrophic thoughts about our future, we need to stop them and counter them with alternative messages that are positive and optimistic, based on truth, not fear.

To be sure: Just because things haven’t worked out in the past doesn’t mean they never will. Just because we’ve been rejected in the past doesn’t mean that is our eternal fate. Just because we’ve been plagued with failure doesn’t mean that is the way it will always be.

Truth be told: We are masters of our fate who have allowed our negativity to victimize and define us.

On an unconscious level, our negativity is a defense mechanism, a protective device such that if something bad should happen, we won’t be blindsided and devastated by it. By anticipating failure, we think we are softening the blow of failure should it occur.

Unfortunately, this is not a good plan. The negativity of anticipated bad luck and failure actually helps to create them because it contributes to us not putting our best foot forward. It blocks the flow of positive energy and directs the Law of Attraction to attract negative consequences rather than positive outcomes. It reinforces our fear and insecurity, and it diminishes our confidence and faith in ourselves and our objectives.

In this regard, negative thinking is actually a form of self-abuse. Certainly, it is important to be aware of the things that can go wrong so that we can have a strategy to address them and push forward, should they occur. But to beat ourselves into submission with our negative fear thoughts such that we don’t take risks and don’t go the distance in order to protect ourselves from disappointment, shame and humiliation is simply self-punishment.

Rather than anticipating failure, we should anticipate success, while at the same time telling ourselves that should failure occur, we will be emotionally capable of dealing with it, that we will pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and continue on our path toward our goals because that is the only way we will get where we want to go.

It’s best that we remind ourselves that there is less shame in failure and defeat than in never trying at all, that many great hearts and minds have risen from the ashes of multiple failures and defeat to reap the rewards of great success and prosperity.

Bottom line: We must be vigilant over our thoughts, stop the negativity, and be positive and enthusiastic regardless of adversity and seemingly overwhelming odds against us, and push forward with one true thought always in the forefront of our consciousness: Win, lose or draw, it’s much better to play the game than watch from the sidelines.

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Dr. Jacobson, a graduate of Cornell University, the Medical College of Wisconsin, and the UCLA / San Fernando Valley Psychiatry Residency Program, is a Board-Certified Psychiatrist who has been in private practice in the Los Angeles area since 1999.

He specializes in insight-oriented psychotherapy, cognitive-behavior therapy, spiritual psychotherapy, couples therapy, equine-assisted psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and past life regression therapy. In addition, he is a Motivational and Inspirational Speaker and a Mastery Of Life Mentor guiding people towards the fulfillment of their goals and dreams. His blogs and social media postings offer people spiritual techniques and cognitive tools for achieving happiness, physical well-being, and material success in all realms of their lives.

His first book, Forgive To Win!, introduces The Forgiveness Diet, a daily regimen of thoughts, actions and exercises designed to eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors and enable people to manifest the stuff their dreams are made of.

For more information, please visit

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