Trust the open space. Trust the gaping void that opens, threatening to swallow you into its nothingness, when you say “No” to people or things you know aren’t right for you.
Beautiful things will sprout when you say “No”. Beautiful seeds will descend from the sky, and sprout in that open space. More beautiful than you could have planned. Sooner than you think.
The darkness that surrounds you now—that whispers its threats to expand voraciously if you open up even an inch of space—will ebb away as you open that space, and choose to sit calmly, patiently in it.
All the plans… all the email… all the food… all the alcohol… all the shopping… all the screen time… they take up that space. They crowd out the magic that can arrive as soon as it has a place to land.
You fear hurting people, or disappointing them, if you say “No” to them. It’s true that they might feel some pain in that moment. It might even linger. But if you are not truly there in your brilliant fullness with them—if whatever you are doing with them is not the right fit for you, and you can feel that—then they are missing out on magic too. Your “No” will give them the gift of open space as well. And it will open up possibilities for much more satisfying connections for you.
You also fear hurting yourself, by “missing out,” if you say “No” to events or things or connections that come your way. But if these things are not right for you, then by saying “Yes” to them you are closing up that magical open space. You are filling yourself with empty calories, when a lush, rainbow-hued banquet could be just on the other side of what you see in front of you.
It’s worth the wait. It’s worth the fear and uncertainty.
What would your life look like, in your wildest dreams? Can you envision it? Can you feel the feelings of living that life?
What stands in the way of those dreams? What ties you to the life you’re living now, the one that falls short of the life of your wildest dreams? There are various obstacles, undoubtedly. Some of those obstacles have settled themselves, awkwardly, into the space that would be required to shift into that dream life. They may seem bulky, heavy, immovable. Inevitable, even.
But saying “No”, in small or large ways, will clear them out. Give away physical objects you don’t need. Say goodbye—temporarily or permanently—to people in your life who drag you down, rather than lifting you up. You can do so with deep kindness and love. It is a win-win.
Trust the open space.
This Post Has 11 Comments
Maren – I agree that we need to say NO more often to those things that are not bringing us pleasure or fulfillment. Thanks for the reminder.
I’m so glad it resonated with you, Virginia. Thanks for letting me know!
Thank you Ms.Maren.
It has really helped me this day with your words of wisdom.
Im happy to have come across this and this will keep pushing me everyday whenever I’m confused and afraid to trust this open space.
I’m so glad to hear it, Manju! Thanks for letting me know.
thank you, so very true!!!!
You’re welcome, Maria! I’m so glad it struck a chord with you.
Thank You ! ! !
You’re welcome, Darren; thanks for reading! 🙂
What a beautiful post, Maren. And so very true. I learned long ago that I don’t always have to have a reason to say no. Just the gut feel. And it has opened up so many possibilities, just as you said!
I especially love: “It’s worth the wait. It’s worth the fear and uncertainty.”
So very true.
Thanks for this reflection, Susan. I love hearing that you have learned/experienced this for yourself, and reaped some beautiful benefits!
Inspiring words for these challenging times.