Skip to content

Trust the open space. Trust the gaping void that opens, threatening to swallow you into its nothingness, when you say “No” to people or things you know aren’t right for you.

Beautiful things will sprout when you say “No”. Beautiful seeds will descend from the sky, and sprout in that open space. More beautiful than you could have planned. Sooner than you think.

The darkness that surrounds you now—that whispers its threats to expand voraciously if you open up even an inch of space—will ebb away as you open that space, and choose to sit calmly, patiently in it.

All the plans… all the email… all the food… all the alcohol… all the shopping… all the screen time… they take up that space. They crowd out the magic that can arrive as soon as it has a place to land.

You fear hurting people, or disappointing them, if you say “No” to them. It’s true that they might feel some pain in that moment. It might even linger. But if you are not truly there in your brilliant fullness with them—if whatever you are doing with them is not the right fit for you, and you can feel that—then they are missing out on magic too. Your “No” will give them the gift of open space as well. And it will open up possibilities for much more satisfying connections for you.

You also fear hurting yourself, by “missing out,” if you say “No” to events or things or connections that come your way. But if these things are not right for you, then by saying “Yes” to them you are closing up that magical open space. You are filling yourself with empty calories, when a lush, rainbow-hued banquet could be just on the other side of what you see in front of you.

It’s worth the wait. It’s worth the fear and uncertainty.

What would your life look like, in your wildest dreams? Can you envision it? Can you feel the feelings of living that life?

What stands in the way of those dreams? What ties you to the life you’re living now, the one that falls short of the life of your wildest dreams? There are various obstacles, undoubtedly. Some of those obstacles have settled themselves, awkwardly, into the space that would be required to shift into that dream life. They may seem bulky, heavy, immovable. Inevitable, even.

But saying “No”, in small or large ways, will clear them out. Give away physical objects you don’t need. Say goodbye—temporarily or permanently—to people in your life who drag you down, rather than lifting you up. You can do so with deep kindness and love. It is a win-win.

Trust the open space.

Avatar photo

Born and raised in northern Virginia, Maren moved to Portland, Oregon to start a new life in 1990. During the last 25 years, she has delved into the question of what it is to be human at this time in history, and how individuals can bring their passions and beliefs to bear on the world.

After earning a degree in psychology, she moved into political activism, and years later, found a way to blend the two, mixing deep empathy and understanding with encouragement and support for bold action. Her clients and followers are dreamers and doers, working with passion to bring about a better world for all.

For more information, please visit

This Post Has 11 Comments

  1. Thank you Ms.Maren.
    It has really helped me this day with your words of wisdom.
    Im happy to have come across this and this will keep pushing me everyday whenever I’m confused and afraid to trust this open space.

  2. What a beautiful post, Maren. And so very true. I learned long ago that I don’t always have to have a reason to say no. Just the gut feel. And it has opened up so many possibilities, just as you said!
    I especially love: “It’s worth the wait. It’s worth the fear and uncertainty.”
    So very true.
    Thank You!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *