There are some things in life we can control and some that we can’t. We all have dominion and mastery over our own lives. We have personal power and we get to use it or give it away as we choose. Unfortunately, many times we willingly give away our personal power without even thinking about it or realizing that it happened.
My friend Sally had a long-term happy relationship with her partner Bob. Recently, she left Bob because a friend told her some bad things about Bob. Rather than confront the situation or ignore the advice, she ran. When a situation like this happens, we have two choices. One, we can run away, or two, we get to choose what information we take in and act upon, and what we don’t. That choice is what I call personal power. It’s the power to decide what we’ll believe and what we won’t and what we’ll do in life and what we won’t.
Because we have such a strong human need for acceptance in our tribe, giving away our personal power is something that all us do from time to time.
Personal power- and giving it away, is a hot button for me because of past lessons I have learned, the hard way. Two major times in my life, I gave away my power to “the expert- someone who knew more than I did”. Both times I ended up in a mess because these experts made bad decisions and I allowed it to happen. Inside I was screaming, “You can’t do this, this isn’t right!”, but I quieted that voice to learn from the expert- even when it went against everything I felt inside.
It’s not always in our best interest to take advice from well-meaning friends, especially when they haven’t mastered their own life. Too many times we’ll take business advice from someone who’s struggling, marriage advice from someone who is single or parenting advice from a couple with no children. That’s just silly!
Don’t get me wrong, there are many times when friends and mentors can provide great advice and help us to see things in a different way. But that doesn’t mean that we shut down and just take orders- we still have the responsibility for our lives and ultimately have to make our own decisions. Using our own personal power, we’re able to gather the advice and wisdom, examine it, feel if it fits for us or not and then decide our course of action or inaction.
The greatest expert we’ll ever find is inside of ourselves. We already know the answers to the most important questions, yet in our insecurity we look for answers and validation outside of ourselves.
If we take an honest look, we can all find places where we’re compromising and giving away our own personal power right now.
The time has come to take it back. After all, if we’re the ones that will be stuck with the results of the decision, shouldn’t we be the ones making choices for our own lives?
Instead of listening to outside voices telling us what we should or shouldn’t do, reclaim your power. When we do so, it will have powerful ramifications throughout all aspects of our life. When we act from a place of confidence and realize that the greatest source of wisdom for us is and always has been inside of us, we take a giant step closer to success.
So after you read this, you decide. If it’s useful, take it in. If not, toss it aside. You are the master of your life and you are much wiser than you give yourself credit for. Go have a talk with the only person who knows what’s best for you- YOU!
If you want to trust someone, trust yourself first.
You and I have been on the same page for the last couple of weeks. I love it when synchronicities like this appear because they validate that I’m on the right path! I just finished reading I Had It All the Time by Alan Cohen, and speaks about this topic specifically. More people NEED to hear this and learn to trust their own judgement! It also speaks to how genuine you are and your concern for your readers and twitter followers! Bravo! Have a wonderful day!
It’s great to be reminded that relationship advice should not be sought from your single friends. And business advice should not be sought from the guy who only gives out advice and isn’t really a good businessman.
It’s silly but it’s so easy to forget this! Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Gail,
Great thought to keep in mind especially since I’m headed to Web 2.0 Expo where Venture Cap is all the buzz. Why isn’t bootstrapping buzz worthy anymore?
BTW – It’s hard to tweet your posts with the AddToAny widget. Give the Sexy Bookmarks widget a try. http://www.sexybookmarks.net/
Michelle
Wow Gail –
I needed to read this today! It’s especially difficult when you give away your personal power to someone you think really does have “better” personal power. You are a gift from God for me today. Thank you so much.
Blessings,
Blanca
Thank you Gail — Perfect timing on this, you always know what to write, because your heart is always attuned to our needs. I love this blog, so encouraging and helping to all to who want to reclaim personal power. I’m reclaiming mine.
Hugs.
Thanks for another great empowering post. When I was younger, I was told to never seek relationship advice. It was something I actually didn’t understand at the time. Then as I grow older I realized that other people do not know what goes on between you and your significant other. Often times, your friends’ advice (though they mean very well) could simply confuse you. Bottom line is you have to think for yourself. And sometimes, it’s just hard.