“I have a question I’d really like to know your thoughts on. I have a friend named Daniel. We recently had a falling out. I was tired of him holding back and I felt like I was always the one giving and getting nothing in return. Some harsh things were said by both of us. I’d really like to know how he is feeling. Can this be repaired? I already reached out, but he’s not responding. I wonder if he even cares to have me as a friend. Thanks so much.” ~ Pam
Hi Pam,
The relationship is over, and I have the strong sense that the relationship should have been over long ago, or perhaps not even begun. It feels like this may be a pattern for you, in choosing relationships that don’t quite satisfy what you want, but then instead of being clear, you just let them linger on…
Good relationships require the involvement of two people—not one person doing all the giving, the other doing all the taking. If you are doing all the heavy lifting in a relationship, it’s time to step back, look at your own role in allowing this, and move on.
Spend the time you need to grieve the ending of this relationship, and when you are done, allow yourself to move with clarity toward people you really enjoy and who enjoy you.
Sara Wiseman
