By B. Lynn Goodwin.
Recently I texted my husband, “From WIFE 22: List 5 positive things about spouse…”
I should explain that WIFE 22 is a book about a couple, who grew distant after 20 years. The book shows a middle-aged wife discovering who she is and what she wants out of life as a participant in an anonymous survey about relationships. The book and its survey fascinated me, even though my husband and I only been married 5 months, so I texted him one of the questions that I could easily lift out of context.
My silver-tongued husband wrote back, “Only 5?” I could hear his teasing voice as I read the screen.
I giggled and told him to send as many as he’d like. With his permission I’m sharing his list:
I love his sweet attention. I love his professed attraction to me. If he sees me as “Hot!”, who am I to argue? I love his playfulness and the way he makes me giggle, even when I try not.
Why would a 62-year-old woman who’s never been married fall in love with a 67-year-old man who’s been widowed twice? I assure you that it’s the last thing I ever intended to do, but the bottom line is that my instincts, his character, and surprises like the list above all tell me to trust and love him. It’s never too late to fall in love or fall into unfamiliar territory.
I had such a busy life before we met that I almost didn’t pursue the relationship. He wanted lots of my time and attention almost immediately. His persistent e-mails would have scared me if he hadn’t been so charming and open. He wanted to be married. I wanted an end to loneliness.
Here’s what puzzles me when I step away from his love and look at our relationship analytically: All my life I valued my independence. Why would I trade that for marriage with a two-time widower?
- As I age and my body lags, it’s better to be with someone.
- I have the good fortune to be with someone who communicates.
- I’m embracing new adventures.
- We complement each other.
- I’m no longer bored or lonely.
I know there are other reasons. Can you suggest any?
Because I had the courage to say yes and break out of my proud, independent, lonely lifestyle, I’m inspired to take new risks and merge his world with mine every day. We’re already into our second summer as a couple, and I’m enjoying the long sunlit days as I accept a way of life I’d stopped hoping for. Life is what you make it, and mine has become awesome.