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By Tara Taylor.

What is the meaning of life? That is the universal question that we have all asked ourselves once, twice or everyday. In actuality, the question that we truly want to understand is, “What is MY meaning in this life?”

We look to others to answer this question. We seem to think that we don’t know.

9 SpiralIn actuality, we do know. Each and every one of us has the answer embedded. It is in every fiber of our being, we have had the answer even before we came to our bodies. We hold our answer within us.  The question then becomes, “How do we retrieve this answer?”

We retrieve the answer by accepting and understanding that we have two parts within us, which I refer to as the duality, better known as Our Higher Self and Our Ego Self.

Understanding our own duality helps us to bring forth the awareness that all of us are here to achieve, our Soul’s Progression. In essence, we are each here fulfilling our soul’s progressions. What makes us each unique is that we each have a different soul’s journey that involves one or many life lessons. Our soul’s journey is built on both our ego and our higher self. Just like each of us is different, so are our ego traits depending on our soul’s journey.  The level of understanding we have of our own duality and what we choose to learn in this lifetime forms the basis of our ego traits.

The ego is with us in every decision we make and it is just as strong as the higher self. The biggest struggle is trying to separate the ego from the self. Despite the fact that our ego is only attached to us in this earthly plane, it is equally as important as our higher self. Our Ego can be something quite positive. It is meant to help us to fully experience our physical existence – without our ego we truly would not learn. Our bodies are giant filters; we filter our lessons through both our ego and higher self. Depending on our understanding of the process, one can either speed up or slow down their Soul’s Mission.

You ask yourself, “How do I know which part of me is talking, is it the higher self or the ego?”

In every decision we make in life, we can choose to come from my ego or our higher self.  We tend to get two answers to every question, one that comes from my higher self, which always speaks first and one that is from my ego, which directly speaks second. Then we make a choice on which to follow. It’s a process that we all go through before making every decision, from as large as  “What is my meaning?” to as small as “What I am going to wear today?”

The higher self speaks directly, to the point and is always calm, even a warning. It is assertive and comforting at the same time. Some people may have a physical reaction such as lightness of heart, a sense of bliss or true love, and excitement. When it warns, you feel almost robotic, you don’t panic.

For example, you are in a rush one morning. You grab your coat and keys and rush out the door, jump into your car and start the engine. The radio’s on with many distractions around. You look in your review mirror and start to go into reverse. A calm voice says to you in your head, “The door’s unlocked” or “You didn’t lock the door.” Everything in that moment is quiet for a second. You ask yourself, “Did I lock the door?”

You try to envision a replay of leaving the home. Did I?, Didn’t I?   Your ego makes you indecisive.  “I don’t have time for this blah, blah, blah. I’m going to be late and so on.” Your ego distracts you. You feel that you must worry about the things you HAVE to do. The higher self gives you guidance and lets you make your own decision.

Here is the filter process; you are being given a choice. It would be in your best interest to stop, and go check that door. Or you could choose to ignore it and go on with your day. Your higher self (the internal guidance) has done its job: it has given you guidance. Your ego distracted you, it has done its job and have given you the ability to choose, what some will call… free will. This is how we learn your higher self looks out for your well being and makes life easy. Your ego distracts you, makes you indecisive, makes you worry and makes life seem hard.

With that being said, you are probably wondering if something BAD is going to happen because you ignored the message. Think of it this way: every single situation that you did not listen to your higher self is a perfect mistake. You would not learn without listening to your ego. Your ego helps you to truly learn. Without it you would have no choice.

The catch is once you have learned it, don’t repeat it again. Your ego comes from a place of jealousy, greed, worthlessness and it makes you feel as though you are small and not good enough. You get a job interview. You first reaction is happy, and then you start saying the “what if’s” to yourself. That’s your ego.

Why would anyone want to embrace that part of themselves? My answer is, because it helps you to learn who you are and why you are here on this earth.

All I ask of others is to recognize this internal process from within and grow from it. Get to know the internal conversations you have with your ego and higher self and try your best to come from that wonderful place of the higher self that is connected to God Consciousness.

That is truly how you are going to understand your meaning in life. The harder that you try to push the ego away, the stronger the internal fight. It has you where it wants you, to make no decision at all, to stay in that same energy with no change.

You are an ever changing being, you are not the same person you were a minute ago. You are continuously learning, even if your ego wants to admit it or not.

Because you are ever changing, you can change your thought process by what I call shaping your ego.

How do you shape your ego? You do so by calling yourself on it. The more that you call yourself on ego, the louder your higherself will get. You have to work on it.

I begin with a simple exercise with my clients. I ask them to look in the mirror and say to themselves either aloud or inside every morning after brushing their teeth, “Today I come from my higher self, not from my ego.” It’s like reprogramming your thought process. I have them say this to themselves at least ten times.

What happens is you feel a shift in the chest area or the area of your belly button. It’s an energy shift; you are affirming this to yourself. The key is making you believe that this is true. If this was the first time that I started to shape my ego, I could say it once and you know that you don’t really mean it because your ego is not believing it. I have to affirm that my higher self is in control, not my earth bound ego.

What happens is that your ego eventually becomes the weaker part of you and the higher self becomes more prevalent. Your ego’s voice becomes quieter because you start to easily brush off the part of you that speaks second. As I said, it is still there, so do not be fooled, it can and will rear its ugly head in certain circumstances. What happens is that you are able to understand and deal with it better and make a choice to come from your higher self much more easily.

Once we start to get a hold on our own duality, the big question is, “What is my meaning and what are my lessons for my soul’s journey?”

Reflect back, in your past. Don’t go back there, just observe. What has been a repetitive situation in my dealings with others? Am I still in that cycle? Do I still attract the same situations?

That is where you need to start. You must close one door to walk through another. You must come to a place of making a change, so that the universe can usher in new beginnings.

You will also notice in time of reflection, your higher self has always been a good friend to you. It has and will always encourage you to follow your path. It will never pressure you or make you feel that you lost your chance because you turned it down. That’s your ego. When things are meant to be either a life lesson or soul progression, it will always visit you and hope that you will notice the signs to move forward because we have free will and it can only guide us, not make a decision for us.

When I observe the past, I know that my life’s journey is to write and coach others to find their life’s meaning when they feel lost, by being an example of truly understanding and fully living the struggle of the duality. I can say I know my meaning.

So far through my filter process, I know that I am making decisions from my higher self and truly living out my life’s purpose.

Just because I know my meaning, everyone presently in my life, and the ones to come, will help me to fully live and learn my meaning. These souls help me to fully live in my physical existence.

We are unique, but need each other to live out our soul’s journey. Please take a minute and thank everyone and everything that has been with you already in this life time. Thank both the positive and the negative, for you would not be where you are and what you will be without it. That is when you start to truly live.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

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Tara Taylor is an internationally known intuitive counselor, spiritual teacher, motivational speaker and HayHouse author. She has been featured internationally in newspapers, radio and television, and has helped many people through her workshops, seminars, and public speaking on understanding the ego and intuition.

Tara is one of the contributing authors to the Amazon bestseller, Manifesting Success: The Ultimate Guide to Creating the Life of Your Dreams and co-author of HayHouse Publishing’s first YA series, Through Indigo’s Eyes and Becoming Indigo. (Both books are International Amazon Best Sellers.)

For more information, please visit and

This Post Has 10 Comments

    1. Beautiful Kieran and that allows you to shine your wonderful soul bright so that everyone around you can feel safe to do so as well. Thank-you for your comment:)

  1. Dear Tara,

    I love your work its really inspiring,please keep it up.I had always thought my life had more meaning and fulfillment when i do some form of coaching, talking to people, reading and writting,I am also very intuitive. However, I am always apprehensive if this passion alone can feed me,or help me meet my needs as a ”conventional job” would. I reside in Africa and keep wondering if this practice could apply any were around the world. because, circumstances are way different in this two worlds.

    1. HI Clare,

      Thank-you for your lovely comment:). As for your passion being able to meet your needs in the material world, this all boils down to Abundance flows, where happiness grows!!!

      Your higherself wants to follow your passion and your ego is just doing its job by giving you an opposite so that you may learn to push through the emotion of fear. My suggestion is to trust your higherself and give a try!…it is better in life to say “I did” rather then ” I wish”

      Blessings to you Clare and go for it!!

  2. I think this article is great. I’m exploring the topic because I’m trying to change my life. I’m a 23 year old male rapper but my self destructive behavior is that i seek approval from people. I understand that only YOU can give yourself approval in order to be completely in control. But what if you don’t have approval of yourself on certain things -because you feel you should improve. Is this when the ego becomes helpful? or should I just learn to be happy with who I am at the moment and not try to improve?? How do I become my best self? Do I let it occur naturally and effortlessly or do I try to change my state of mind and thought patterns?

  3. Hi Luis,

    YAY my friend you have understood the first step; which is that you recognize your ego voice and what it does!!, so give yourself a pat on the back my friend!!. You already know that your ego seeks approval from other so that will be easy for you to work on to balance your egoself with your higherself. Send me an email to [email protected] and I will send you some articles and exercises that will help you stay focused on moving forward on your journey as a very talented rapper and yes it is about re programing your thought patterns so that you feel more confident about yourself as you go through your career as a rapper/entertainer.

  4. I have been searching for something like this for a while. My ego is very loud and drowns out my higher self much of the time. I am going to try the mirror work. Thank you.

  5. Thank you for sharing this; it is always a pleasure to hear a spiritual/energy adherent speak so positively of our very precious “ego” that emeges sometime in our first five years of physical plane existence and is often battered in to submission…wonderful folk like Shirly Smith, Thomas A. Harris, Eric Berne et al demonstrate various methods of letting go of childhood trauma.

    I believe the mind (exposure), the body (emotion) and the soul (ego) have a peer relationship here in the physical realm; I believe there is no “higher self” and, collectively, we are all Goddess/God xoxoxo…

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