As I am taking a deep breath on a crisply vibrant morning, before setting fingers to keyboard, I am humbled by the magnitude of this question. I gaze back at the previous chapters of my life with a blend of bewildered awe and ‘if I knew then what I know now’. I imagine the steps and turns in the dance that has become my life and the various partners with whom I have taken them and it seems that it has all been perfect and then along comes a sense of wistfulness and ‘if only’. The words of what I call the shortened version of the Serenity Prayer come to mind – ‘it is what it is.’ Many of my teachers and mentors throughout the years have encouraged acceptance of events and people ‘as is’. I can fight what is, kicking and screaming (metaphorically speaking) or I can surrender, with equanimity.
I enjoy living a full, rich, juicy life, being frequently fascinated – never bored.
Relationships are a key component. I have learned that love is never wasted. Each time I embark, whether with friends or lovers, partners or colleagues, I enter into it with heart wide open. I have come to discover that relationship is not 50/50 but 100/100. I bring 100% of who I am to the table as do they. When relationships have shifted in form or focus, I have allowed myself to feel a myriad of emotions and then from that, emerges a deep appreciation for that person’s presence in my life. People remain in my heart, providing nourishment and growth that I take into every new encounter. I love the Celtic concept of anam cara, or soul friend. There is an immediate recognition that we have traveled together before.
Ritual is essential in my life; a rich sense of connection with the Divine in all. One that I do each morning prior to setting foot out of bed is to express gratitude for the new day and consciously set intention for “having amazing experiences and connecting with extraordinary people” and that unfolds beautifully.
A powerful way to extend that feeling came a few years ago. I was sitting by a flowing stream, mala beads in hand, chanting. I then thought of a name and face of someone who has made a difference in my life, for each of the 108 beads. By the time I was finished, I had gone twice around the strand, offering love and blessings for 216 sweet souls who have graced my life. Not a surprise that over the next few days, people I hadn’t heard from in awhile, ‘cosmically coincidentally’, showed up either in person, call or email form.
A theme runs through it all, that in each moment, I can choose love or fear. The more soul satisfying, life enhancing, heart awakening choice is love. I embrace it willingly.