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Be who you are. Don’t try to mimic anyone else. Be uniquely you, because (and this is quite amazing) there is no one else in this world exactly like you and never will be!

If you continue to strive to be someone you’re not, you’ll not only remain unhappy and unfulfilled, you’ll also deprive others of the gift of yourself—the very special “someone” only you can give.

That would be a tragedy.

Okay, so now you may wonder. . .

“How can I be myself if I don’t really know who I am yet?”

Good question. The first thing I’d recommend is to take in a big breath and begin to relax. Relax your body, relax your mind. Don’t try to figure it all out at once. You can’t anyway, so forget about it.

Your heart beats without having to remind it to, right?

You breathe without having to remember, correct?

Next, realize that your mind needs to be put in its proper place—as your assistant, not your ruler (although it always tries to be).

Take a moment to reflect on all the things you’ve worried about in your life and if your greatest fears were ever realized? How much time did you waste fretting over a situation to no avail? Did it not stop you from experiencing the very moment you were in? Good or bad, was it worth it?

Now, think back on all the great things that have occurred in your life so far. Were they planned out? Possibly, but count how many weren’t, the ones that came unexpectedly, the best kind of pleasures. I know you know what I mean here.

So, it’s time to tell your brain to stop thinking too much about what you SHOULD do, where you SHOULD go, and who you SHOULD be—before it’s too late! Remember, you’re not here to prove yourself to others. You’re not even here to prove yourself to yourself.

Instead, just quiet your mind and BE still, at least for a while, so your soul can finally hear and recognize your Spirit, the true ruler of your life.

Then, and only then, you’ll be able to release the desires that are deep within you waiting to get out. You can live from the inside out, not the other way around. You can be free from all the needless worry and anxiety that you’ve place upon yourself over the years.

Once you give yourself a chance to relax and really listen, like a flower blooms, your life will unfold without you having to fret about it. You’ll begin to catch glimpses of who you really are. You’ll begin to feel comfortable in your own skin. Imagine that!

Your life will bloom NATURALLY – the way all things are meant to BE.

I promise you, embarking on this wonderful journey of Self-discovery is the best thing you can allow for yourself.

It’s also the best thing you can do for others.

So what are you waiting for?

Shhhh! Listen!

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Catherine Dougherty, a New Hampshire native, is a fiction author and a former newspaper reporter, columnist, photographer, and Real Estate/Business Broker. For several years, she served as the Lakes Region Coordinator of The Cozy Cap Project, a project she began in 2007 resulting in many volunteers making and donating thousands of hats for cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy. She has also volunteered for The Greater Lakes Region Making Strides Against Breast Cancer.

Her debut novel, in Polyester Pajamas, was published in June 2012 and won the NH Writers' Project 2013/2014 Readers' Choice Award for outstanding work of fiction. Her second novel, in Woolen Bikinis, was published in 2013, and her third novel, in Leather Chaps, was released in 2015.

For more information, please visit

This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. In silence we can hear ourselves and others. In blindness we begin witnessing rather than seeing. In stillness we can move worlds.

    Lovely call to action, friend, thank you.

  2. This is excellent. my way of thinking and practicing what I preach .. thank you so much. May I have permission to use it for my Coaching Clients. Warm regards, from Ptown. Rev. Vernon Diannah Porter [email protected]

  3. Okay, Catherine…I am hooked. Like is attracted to like, so–I feel like crawling right up on your lap. For good. And I know you are not surprised as Spirit wrote this through you–to get my attention. I have way too much to share for this space, so–look for an email. And many thanks to those wonderful people at ‘Inspire Me’ who have brought so many wonderful people into my life. Blessings on all of you!

    1. Thank you, Charlene. Blessing to you also! Looking forward to hearing from you. FYI – my 2nd book, in Woolen Bikinis, is free to download through 3/28. Check out my author site for more details. 🙂

  4. Your article inspire me too much. You;re right. We as individual should be “I,” not she/he. Appreciate your advice.

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