Forgiveness allows us to be fully present in this moment, right here, right now. Forgiveness enables us to wholeheartedly embrace what is and to be at peace with our past and fully engaged with the present. Making peace with our past is the most immediate way we can experience the abundance that is our birthright. Without forgiveness there is always something pulling us out of alignment with ourselves and with life; it is an energy drain in our system.
Until we have made perfect peace with all that has occurred in our life, and with all the people who have played a part in it, we deny ourselves the full richness of our true abundance. Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. It frees up the energy we had invested in making another, or ourselves, wrong. Ultimately, forgiveness is letting go of the illusion that something actually ever went wrong.
Self-forgiveness is reclaiming our innocence. It means letting go of our ideas about how we thought we should have done things differently. We let go of the belief that we should have known what we didn’t know then. We let go of the story that we should have been something we were not then, or that we should have acted in a way that we were not capable of at that time. Forgiveness is a choice. It might take time to finally arrive at the place where we recognize the innocence of others (or ourselves) no matter what their apparent injustice.
From the highest viewpoint, forgiving others is natural because we can readily admit that whatever perceived wrong another might have committed, we have committed the same or a similar wrong ourselves—even if only in our imagination. We know their so-called wrong was the result of ignorance, born out of fear, as a result of their forgotten identity.
The ultimate forgiveness is to have compassion toward those who taught us false ideas from an old paradigm of separation, in the first place. We understand they were taught the same things by those who came before them. They had also forgotten their true identity, which is love. At the mystical level of awareness, we recognize there is actually nothing to forgive, ever. We see that all there is to do is simply return to the truth, and move beyond the belief or appearance of a separate self.
With clear vision, we see that it no longer serves us to cling to any story of wrongdoing, either by oneself or by another. What would be the benefit of continuing to perpetuate stories that are not in alignment with the truth that we are all essentially love? The fact that most of us are still living in a state of forgetfulness of that fundamental truth doesn’t change that reality. As we shift our perspective about who and what we truly are, that in turn shifts the nature of the world we inhabit and our experience of others. The world becomes a more loving place because we have become a more loving, openhearted human being. And all we did was come into alignment with what was already true.
Thank you TJ for the reminder……..”The ultimate forgiveness is to have compassion toward those who taught us false ideas from an old paradigm of separation, in the first place.” I needed this today. Gwen
Thanks so much for your comment Gwen. That ultimate forgiveness certainly changed my life. Many blessings, TJ
This is the second time I’ve read this post and it came at yet another good time. In a word “family”. Thank you again TJ. Gwen
Thanks so much Gwen. Sending lots of love!
Perfect peace with all that has been and self forgiveness “reclaiming my innocence” that’s for me! Thank you TJ for your wise words. You have inspired me to dive deeply into forgiveness. This could get messy……….Happy, happy, joy, joy, Lenora
Thanks so much Lenora. Sending lots of love and light your way! Many blessings, TJ
This is beautifully written; a subject I need to be reminded of often. With my awareness I get to look at the role that ego plays in my life. I need to surrender to love, in order to feel peaceful Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Thanks so much Alison. Yes, awareness of ego and surrendering to love. What a gift. Much love, TJ
Could you explain this paragraph a bit further? I’m having trouble understanding it, specifically — “The ultimate forgiveness is to have compassion toward those who taught us false ideas from an old paradigm of separation, in the first place” and “At the mystical level of awareness, we recognize there is actually nothing to forgive, ever.” Many thanks!
“The ultimate forgiveness is to have compassion toward those who taught us false ideas from an old paradigm of separation, in the first place. We understand they were taught the same things by those who came before them. They had also forgotten their true identity, which is love. At the mystical level of awareness, we recognize there is actually nothing to forgive, ever. We see that all there is to do is simply return to the truth, and move beyond the belief or appearance of a separate self.”
Thanks Renee. For me, I was not able to move more deeply into spiritual freedom until I let go of the belief that someone or something “should” have been different in my life. Forgiveness for people who, probably unconsciously, downloaded me the “false ideas from an old paradigm of separation” is what allowed me to find peace. When I move into mystical awareness (I dive more deeply into that topic in my book) I realize that there is not really a need to forgive because I experience oneness, non-attachment, and compassion.
Hi TJ, Thank you for your thoughts. In general I agree with you, with two exceptions. When you say, “It frees up the energy we had invested in making another, or ourselves, wrong,” what comes to mind is, “when an adult sexually abuses a child, the adult is not only wrong, (s)he is also likely to have instilled a debilitating trauma that has the potential of affecting the victim’s life in the long term.” Clearly the premise, “to free up the energy,” is significant, however, the word “forgive” does not correlate well with the notion of “having compassion for those who taught us wrongly;” even though the victim might be sympathetic to the traumas and warped needs of the perpetrator. The idea of “letting go” strikes me more appropriate than to “forgive,” when another is involved. Werner Berger.
I believe forgiveness is the most important thing we can do for ourselves and those closest to us. I have been involved in 12 step work for almost 10 years now and it teaches us to understand we were taught incorrect information when we were growing up. We need to unlearn many things we grew up to be as true. We also have to stop blaming ourselves for being unaware. Now I look at my relationships very differently. But we do come to find compassion & love through the process of forgiveness. Thank you for that reminder TJ
Hello Peg! Thanks so much for your comment. I love the perspective “we were taught incorrect information when we were growing up.” What a blessing to understand this as a forgiveness practice. Love, TJ
“Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves” and yet once we have gifted it to ourselves, we gift it to everyone else, too. Another beautiful reminder of our connectedness, TJ. Thank you.
Thank YOU!!! Lots of love. 🙂
Forgiving is not judgmental, it is caring for ourselves. I still harbor less than kind thoughts towards one man who continues to cause havoc in my life and my siblings for no good reason except he knows he can. I do my best to hold back the emotional effect and remind myself that he is as he is and it’s not just us he mistreats. Helps a little (smile). I hope that in the near future I will no longer have him entering into my world at all (due to a family trust issue).
Thanks for sharing Virginia. Seeing you as the Love you are! Blessings, TJ
Thank you, TJ. I especially appreciated the belief that ‘ultimately forgiveness is letting go of the illusion that something actually ever went wrong’. Linda ????
YES. Such a “game changer” in my life for sure. Moving from blame to a deeper awareness of Reality. Much Love! TJ
TJ, I’m grateful for this wonderfully written article. It’s a concise refresher and reminder on how living in compassion and forgiveness helps us to let go of our stories/ego moving forward on an authentic spiritual path.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
BTW, your first book: Conscious BEING is an amazing spiritual read (and re-read) with its countless applications and spiritual tools. It has been pivotal in my re-awakening in remembering my greater yet to be!
Many Blessings and Light to you and yours, Laurie
Hello Laurie. Thank you so much for your kind words. Sending lots of love and gratitude your way. 🙂
I echo the previous comments and echo your statement regarding (I parahrase) forgiving because if we look deeply enough, we see we have have thought or done the same thing or something similar. Experiencing that as a truth, for me is useful in getting to that place more quickly of forgiveness. In the light of ultimately there is nothing to forgive I find to be liberating when I do the work to get in that space. Blessings to who TJ you are and all you do.
Thanks so much for your kind words Candy. You are such a beautiful light in this world!
What has helped me on this path is to learn non-attachment. For me this means I have let go of my expectations that things will be the way I want and that others will act in a way that I need them to act. I have become able to accept things as they are. This has led to what I think of as “forgiveness”. It removes judgments and enables me to live in this moment more (not perfectly yet, but it is improving). When I start to feel judgments come up, I ask myself “what am I attached to right now?” For me, this is freeing.
Thank you so much Susan for your beautiful and powerful words!
First of all, We have to forgive ourselves and can forgive someone.Thanks for your advices.
Yes indeed Sung. It does seem true that when we release self-judgment we can more easily move into forgeivess of others.