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So often we don’t we have what we want. Why? The more I think about this question and review my own life attitudes, the more I come up with the same answer:

We don’t feel we deserve it.

So many of us feel we must earn worthiness. Repeating Hail Marys, trekking to Mecca, toiling in the Amazon, writing incessantly, doing massive loads of laundry, cooking massive amounts of meals, denying ourselves massive amounts of what pleases us.

Sometimes we think we can earn worthiness by stockpiling money, houses, fame, titles, awards, degrees, publications. When we’ve achieved these, we may look like we are worthy, but only we know inside that the excessive externals can signal our feeling unworthy. And we still feel empty and uncertain.

Sometimes we reach certain “successes,” in whatever terms are important to us, and then go no further. Psychologist and personal growth teacher Gay Hendricks calls this our “upper limits” (The Big Leap, 2009). It’s our internal “thermostat” of the boundaries of success, happiness, and creativity we allow ourselves. And we do something, or don’t do something, to stop feeling good. Why? Things feel too good. We feel unworthy.

But nothing could be farther from the truth of our nature. I have found great solace and encouragement in the wisdom and guidance of spiritual teachings. By accepting ourselves fully, we realize our divine nature and believe in our own worth. Our gifts, our birth and place in time and space, and our chosen means of sharing are unique. No one else can duplicate or replace them. And all we have to give is needed—right now and with everyone we meet (Unity Daily Word, May 13, 2014).

Abraham (Abraham-Hicks) assures us that life is not about rushing to justify our existence. “It’s justified. You exist. It’s not about proving your worthiness. It’s done. You’re worthy” (Workshop, San Antonio, TX, April 20, 2002).

Wayne Dyer counsels us, “Treasure your divinity” (10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, 2001). We are a part of God, an integral part. We have already attracted all we want. We must simply acknowledge and open to it.

When I’m feeling doubtful, unworthy, or stuck at a self-imposed upper limit, I repeat such statements and affirmations:

  • I deserve to do what I’ve always wanted.
  • No one stands in my way.
  • I don’t stand in my way.
  • I was born to deserve what I’ve always wanted.
  • I have enough time, money, energy, interest, cooperation from everyone around me to do what I’ve always wanted.
  • Doing what I’ve always wanted to do is my natural state.
  • Doing what I’ve always wanted to do harms no one.
  • Doing what I’ve always wanted to do makes me feel good and keeps me healthy.
  • Doing what I’ve always wanted to do blesses me and everyone I meet.
  • Doing what I’ve always wanted to do fulfills me.
  • I open fully to prosperity, wholeness, healing, fulfilling relationships, and rewarding activities.
  • Doing what I’ve always wanted to do feels wonderful.
  • I deserve a beautiful life!

We do deserve everything we’ve ever wanted, every way we want to live, every mode of expression and creativity we’ve always craved, imagined, and longed for. As we keep reaffirming our deservingness, we will accept it in ever-greater measure and make room for more. And we will be guided to the most rapturous ways and most giving avenues to express our deservingness.

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Author, editor, writing coach, and spiritual counselor, Noelle Sterne has published over 600 articles, essays, stories, and poems in writing, literary, spiritual, and academic print and online venues. These include Author Magazine, Black Fox Literary Magazine, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Children’s Book Insider, Funds for Writers, InnerSelf,  New Age Journal, Romance Writers Report, SivanaSpirit, Transformation Coaching, Two Drops of Ink, Unity Magazine, Women in Higher Education, Women on Writing, The Write Place At the Write Time,The Writer, and Writer’s Digest. 

With a Ph.D. from Columbia University, for 30 years Noelle has assisted doctoral candidates to complete their dissertations (finally). Based on this practice, her handbook for doctoral candidates wrestling with their dissertations addresses their largely overlooked but equally important nonacademic difficulties. The book is titled Challenge in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping with the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Spiritual Struggles (Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2015). This book may be the first dissertation handbook to acknowledge the spiritual aspects of graduate school and offer solutions. Excerpts from the book have been published in Abstract (blog of Textbook and Academic Authors Association), Get a Life, PhD, GradShare, Graduate Schools Magazine, PhD Talk, and Women in Higher Education, with additional pieces scheduled. For a PowerPoint teaser of this book, please see

In Noelle's book Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011), she draws examples from her academic consulting and other aspects of life to help readers release regrets, relabel their past, and reach their lifelong yearnings. For more about Trust Your Life, view Noelle's free webinar. Pursuing her own dream, she has completed her first novel and is wading through her second.

Noelle's mission through writing and coaching is to help others conquer their trying life experiences, as she has been helped. She applies practical and spiritual guidance from many blessed sources. For more about Noelle and her work and to contact her, please visit here.

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