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Staying Focused When Confronted By Adversity

I was born, as they would say today, visually handicapped. That means I've had to adapt my life in countless ways. And I've learned that if you don't adapt, and often adapt quickly, you'll be miserable, filled with self-pity, and not be the person you were meant to be. The key to overcoming physical or psychological challenges is simple, but very hard to learn. If you want to do something, get something, or be something badly enough, you can't let other people or old thinking get in the way of your goals. And you can never give in or give…

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Find Your Inner Whistle

Okay, okay, I'm going to make a bold statement. I admit it - I'm over 50 now, yes I am. It is a hard pill to swallow. But I'm getting there and am starting to get comfortable with it. I used to hate walking down a street and getting whistles from the men around me. Now, there were never hundreds, but I got my share. BUT... and again I hate to admit it but... when the whistles started disappearing and finally stopped altogether, I missed them. I missed them... I really, really missed them. So I looked in the mirror.…

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Stopping the War Against Yourself

On a daily basis, I pause, put my hand on my chest and whisper, “I will not make war against my own heart.” I have many opportunities to practice, as I make many mistakes. Each time, I want to jump on myself. Each time, I choose: do I judge myself or let it go? This is an act of courage for me, as it goes against ingrained habits of beating myself up. It’s an opening, an embracing of all of life; an embracing of all of me. It is unconditional love. It’s not easy. The mind loves to judge. To…

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Creating Your Success Self-Concept

Some of the things I would suggest are to work on your self-esteem, take care of your health, and to give to others. Too many people have low self-esteem and it can impact all of us. People tend to behave in alignment with their self-concept or their beliefs about themselves and who they are. So here's what I suggest: create a success self-concept for yourself. When you are the success you wish to be, based on how you define success, what would your behavior say is true of you in terms of your traits, qualities, and characteristics? Would it say…

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Alayjiah Bargnare

Know Your Worth With Optimistic Gratitude

Start each morning off by being grateful for waking up. Say "thank you" for all the stuff you currently have and expect to receive in the future. Focus on all the things you love and how they make you feel. Watch what you think and say because they become your reality. I am a survivor of a few of life's most horrible crimes and I was very bitter and angry for a long time. I had constant negative thoughts and fears that plagued my success. I did not realize God had spared my life through all those situations so I…

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Remember to Learn Your Life Lessons

It is my belief that the most important things in life are the lessons we learn while we are here. Through our passion, willingness to take risks, the assurance that it is OKAY to fail, along with deep love and heartfelt relationships, we learn the most important lessons in life. A lifetime filled with lessons is your e-ticket ride to living passionately, with a sense of unstoppability, and the deep desire to go for your dreams and chase what you love. If you are not faced with tests throughout your life, there is no way to defend and clarify what…

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Healing Emotional Pain

Do not ignore the emotional wounds you sustain in daily life. Do not believe that ignoring emotional pain is a sign of strength. Do not believe that feeling emotional pain is a sign of weakness or psychological frailty. Do not believe that being in touch with your feelings, knowing you hurt, and wishing you didn't diminishes you in any way. Do not think of yourself as weak when you experience the pain of rejection. Do not consider yourself undesirable when you know the ache of loneliness. Do not punish yourself when you carry the burden of guilt. Do not lose…

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Improve This Relationship, Improve Your Life

I am passionate about helping people create better relationships with themselves. I once asked an audience to write love letters. "Make them gush with adoration and affection!" I told them, and then added this: "Write the letter to yourself." There was almost an audible gasp. I didn't read them, but as people left, an older woman in tears told me she couldn't come up with one thing. I was deeply saddened imagining what this state of inner desolation was creating in her outer experience. You see, life is an inside-out game. Our relationship with ourselves influences everything. How well we…

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5 Ways to Give Your Children High Self-Esteem

What would you be doing right now if you truly believed in yourself? The quality and destiny of our life is greatly determined by our level of self-esteem. If we have a high level of self-esteem, we are more likely to use and develop our many talents. In the same token, if we have low self-esteem, our talents often go undeveloped and we may underachieve. As parents, we want our children to feel good about themselves and feel fulfilled as adults. Here are five things that we can do now that can assure high self-esteem for our children. Celebrate, honor…

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Trying to Change? You Already Are What You Seek

You are perfect just the way you are. You are stronger than you know. The traits you admire in others are traits you also possess. Believe in yourself. Quit looking outside of yourself for your answers; you will never find them that way. Your answers are inside of you. Besides, no one knows better than you what it is you need out of life. You already are that which you seek. Question everything. How can you know what feels right if you don't understand what you're dealing with? And just because someone else believes something doesn't mean it's right for…

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Wisdom To Nourish The Inner Self

There is an intelligence to the universe that is too vast for humans to understand. Therefore, be sure to have ample time in nature to see a spectacular planet inspiring hope and insights that result in creative solutions. Everyone has important work to do that makes a difference. Make sure you have time alone to think deeply about your contribution, without interruption, daily. Treat your thinking with respect. We can learn from mistakes; but it is never helpful to you, or anyone else, to just put yourself down. Expect knockdowns as a normal part of life's challenges. Each one presents…

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What We All Desire In Life

Every single person on this planet shares the same desire… Happiness! It is how we imagine our happiness that differs from one person to the next. So what is the key to happiness? Today I would like to share three of the things that I have discovered that have brought me the gift of happiness and revolutionized my personality. 1. Appreciate everything and express gratitude. To live gratefully you simply need to become aware that every single moment is a GIVEN MOMENT. You have not earned it or brought it about in any way, and cannot assure that there will be…

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Her Unshielding (Poem)

Be kind to you~ Her Unshielding She beat herself up From her weight to her toes From the size of her thighs To the shape of her nose- And on her walk home When she was alone She’d talk to herself In the harshest of tones- She could never enjoy All the good that she had For she spent all her thoughts On how she was bad- She woke up one day Overwhelmed with her stress And cried out for help For her life was a mess- And though it sounds strange Even hard to believe As soon as she…

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Deserving

So often we don’t we have what we want. Why? The more I think about this question and review my own life attitudes, the more I come up with the same answer: We don’t feel we deserve it. So many of us feel we must earn worthiness. Repeating Hail Marys, trekking to Mecca, toiling in the Amazon, writing incessantly, doing massive loads of laundry, cooking massive amounts of meals, denying ourselves massive amounts of what pleases us. Sometimes we think we can earn worthiness by stockpiling money, houses, fame, titles, awards, degrees, publications. When we’ve achieved these, we may look…

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How Self Esteem May Be Holding You Back

I recently read an interesting excerpt from the book NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. The book focuses on teaching and parenting styles, but I think it also provides an interesting glance into the power of self-empowerment over self-esteem. Let me try to explain how I see the difference between self-esteem and self-empowerment. Self-esteem comes from the praise of others, therefore it is outside ourselves and something we can not control. Self-esteem is based on the belief in unchanging facts, like “you are smart.” Self-esteem is a noun. It is a descriptor. On the other…

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