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There are many things that life has taught me, often in ways I couldn’t understand at the time. I was bullied at school, had a complete lack of self confidence and esteem, making me painfully shy and later, severely depressed. I have at times, felt like giving up.

But those things were given to me to make me realise I am in charge of my life. When I fought back at the bullies I felt strong and happy, I knew that I could stand up for myself and take charge, that I did matter, and it felt great!

Then life got in the way, I forgot I was in charge and let external events knock me sideways. Depression set in and I was helpless, lost and lonely once again. I had to find again that internal strength we all have, remind myself I was not helpless and could get myself out of this. And that is exactly what I did. And exactly what anyone can do.

Find that little part of you which can deal with anything, nurture it, encourage it, make it bigger.

Remember you are in charge of your thoughts, your life, your reactions and your emotions. Of course bad things will happen, or events we didn’t see coming, but when we are in charge of ourselves, we can deal with it and find a way through. And while we may at times feel sad, disappointed, hurt or rejected, we know this is a temporary state, we support ourselves and move through, knowing it won’t be long until the next lot of laughter.

Like yourself no matter what and right now. When we like ourselves, everything in life is so much easier. There is always someone there to provide support and encouragement, always someone there to tell you it will be OK when things aren’t so great. There is always someone there when you need a good talking to or an butt kicking! It is impossible to feel alone or unloved.

Liking yourself just as you are is the one thing I would want for everyone. And when you do this, it is easier to change the things you want to. Many people I see are terrified of changes, terrified of failing or succeeding, of rejection or loneliness, not wanting to stand out or make a difference. But as soon as they learn to love and support themselves they flourish, fears fall away and life is there to be enjoyed once again.

So don’t struggle through life, don’t let fear stand in the way. Take charge and love who you are, stand out, make yourself heard, support yourself every step of the way.

We are all absolutely, perfectly fabulous, just as we are. You are not just enough, but more than enough.

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Kate Irwin has studied personal development and health for over 15 years, she has a degree in Herbal Medicine, is an NLP Master practitioner and certified life coach. However she believes these qualifications are not what enable her to transform the lives of others. It is her own past experience and the experience of helping people, day in day out, to make huge changes.

Kate is a speaker and coach, working predominantly with people who want to make a change in their lives but are frightened of what that change may bring, people who lack the time and confidence to make that change. She helps people understand what is causing the dissatisfaction in their life, how they want to change this and then find the best way to get there. She moves people from stuck and stagnation to success in the easiest and most enjoyable way possible. Throughout her years of discovering what does, and what doesn't work, Kate has created a unique three step process based on Creating your future, Clearing your past and Changing your present.

She is passionate and energetic, loves life and wants to transform others, not simply inspire them. Kate writes a blog at and has a weekly newsletter packed full of techniques and tools to enable you to make those changes and develop and unshakeable self belief. 

For more information, please visit

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