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Self Reliance, Empowerment, Pitfalls,Life’s a bumpy road; we can all agree on that. You’re not going to avoid it. Stuff just happens.

The trick is to avoid falling into the ten foot holes. Chances are, no one will be there with an eleven foot ladder to help you out.

What I mean is don’t walk around with the expectation that someone else is going to rescue you, fix it for you, or bail you out. This message is especially aimed at young women. Someone may have taught you that having a man in your life will ‘fix everything’. That a man will take care of you; will always be there with a safety net.


This posting is from a senior member of your tribe. A woman who has been around a long time and has had several long-term, serious relationships. For the most part, I was always the one with the ladder helping a spouse, a friend, a relative out of their holes. When I fell into mine (and there were many of them), my rescuers had left the building!

You should prepare to live your life with a minimum of ten foot holes in your life. Use your common sense, if it (or he) seems too good to be true that’s because it (he) is… too good to be true. If your ‘gut’ – your inner GPS – tells you that what you are about to do is wrong, LISTEN! And since you’re not going to be able to have a perfect life without challenges, be prepared to help yourself… be self reliant, strong, and resourceful.

Now, here’s the good news. If you’re smart, and I know you are, you will surround yourself with people that are helpful and kind. And it’s okay to take help where it is offered. It is good to help others too. And if you are very fortunate you will have a life partner that helps and supports you… as you will them.

In the meantime, develop yourself into an empowered, independent, strong, brave person. Just in case!

So that no matter what life throws at you, you can rescue yourself. You won’t need to carry around an eleven foot ladder either. Because you won’t travel the road with ten foot holes on it, in the first place. You’ll be traveling the smooth road of good choices, common sense, and self-respect!

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Author, playwright, and poet, Trisha Sugarek has been writing for four decades. Her writing had focused on stage plays that ranged from prison stories to children’s fables. She has expanded her body of work to include two books of poetry, a group of children’s books and her debut novel, Women Outside the Walls.

She has enjoyed a thirty year career in theatre as an actor and director. Originally from Seattle, she has worked in theatres from coast to coast and her plays have been produced across the country and abroad. Trisha lives in Savannah, Georgia with her two golden retrievers and her kitten, Wild Thang. She is currently at work on her second novel, Wild Violets.

Released in 2012, a series of 26 “ShortN’Small” short plays, small casts which are used in classrooms in this country and internationally. Trisha has written 45 play scripts.
Her children’s books are in AUDIO-books now for your smart phone or iPad. Stanley, the Stalwart Dragon is first and is available on, and

She has published Monologues 4 Women, a collection of original, contemporary soliloquies for the strong female actor. Several are written specifically for the African-American actress. A chapter on the ‘dos and don’ts’ of auditioning and several classical monologues completes the collection.

Trisha’s plays and books can be found on her website,

For more information, please visit

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