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Before you can achieve peace or happiness in your life, you must become aware of yourself. This is never an easy task as it is much easier to recognize the errors of others rather than take responsibility for our own errors.

You must become aware of what you say and how you say it. The words you choose, your tone of voice, the expression in your face and eyes.

You must become aware of what you do and how you do it. Always pay attention to details, as these are the little things that will make a BIG difference.

Honor your word and the promises you make by always keeping them. Be on time as this shows respect to others and lets other people know you respect yourself. Learn proper manners and language as these are important parts of a civilized society.

At the same time, stand up for yourself. Say “yes” when you mean “yes” and “no” when you mean “no”. Never pay any attention to gossip as this type of talk is far away from the peace you seek.

Honor yourself by taking time for YOU every day – whether in a quiet setting of meditation, a walk, reading, exercising, going for a run, a massage, a manicure, a gentle bubble bath or listening to music. Whatever works for you.

Become aware of your motives, judgments, assumptions, and fears. Question anything you do with a motive behind it. Do things for others simply because it is the right thing to do and you want to do it. When you judge someone else, you are actually judging yourself. Ninety-nine percent of all assumptions are false and your fears will come to pass so you can learn from them.

Become aware of what you focus on because “what you focus on expands and what you think about happens.” See your life as you want it to be and not as it is, putting your thoughts and energies toward achieving this life you want. For a living, always do what you love to do! If you do what you love to do, money will naturally be a reward to you from sharing this love with the world.

Become aware of all the “life choices” you make. Your life is always a reflection of the choices you have made up to that moment, so stop giving yourself reasons for not having the life you desire. Make a decision to get the results you want from life.

The only thing that makes a “human” different from any other species is the God-given ability to choose. Yet we allow our ego to become involved and choose for us. Or, we decide not to make any choice at all – taking the easy way out so we will not have to take responsibility for this choice. “No choice” is still a choice!

Make the decision to become aware and make the choices that will turn your life into the life you want to have. You have been blessed with the ability to choose. Use it wisely, all the while teaching your children this same lesson. 

Finally, become aware of your passion, the song in your heart! Each of us has one. Find yours! Live it and leave the world a better place!

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Mary Ellen Ciganovich is an educator, author and inspirational speaker.

Raised in Atlanta, Georgia, she was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of six. She went on to attend the University of Georgia and graduated Magna cum Laude in Education. While at Georgia she became a member of the Beta Sigma Chapter of the Alpha Chi Omega sorority.

After graduating, Mary Ellen taught middle school for over 15 years. She was also instrumental in the existence of a two mile long nature trail in Danbury, Connecticut. Mary Ellen put together a book of environmental activities for teachers and students to use while on the trail. She was presented a key to the city of Danbury by the mayor.

In 1986 Mary Ellen was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Once again she didn't let this get her down. Instead she learned about MS and decided to create her own picture of MS. Mary Ellen is very strict about what she eats, uses herbs, vitamins, meditation, lots of exercise and some prescriptions to keep her MS "monster in its cave."

The teachings in her book, Healing Words, Life lessons to Inspire, are words Mary Ellen lives by daily. Her book, published through Tate Publishing was released nationally in February of 2011. Mary Ellen was also a featured writer in Caroline Shearer's book, Women Will Save the World.

Mary Ellen speaks to many groups on topics ranging from,"Awareness of the Self" to "Parenting" and the "Healing of Relationships." She also speaks to groups on the topics of Epilepsy and Multiple Sclerosis as those are the situations she had to deal with in order to learn the many healing principles that she needed to learn.

She has been married for over 13 years to Peter Ciganovich and she has one grown daughter Stephanie who lives and works in Phoenix, Arizona. You may contact her by e-mail at [email protected] or connect with her on Facebook to receive her "Truth of the Day," posted Monday through Friday.

For more information, please visit

This Post Has 62 Comments

  1. Mary Ellen your article was the exact instruction on how our Intentions deliver an exact match to what we desire to experience as an exact match in living the Best Life possible…GRATITUDE

  2. Thank you Mary Ellen. This is such an excellent and well written article. This makes me inspired to be a better person. I am going to print this off and reread it often.

    1. Rosemary – This is such a compliment coming from a beautiful lady like yourself. I am grateful for you taking the time to not only read my article and to leave this reply!

    1. Thank you Linda – it is so important in our society for each of us to lend support to each other.

  3. Dear Mary Ellen,
    I just read your wonderful piece on self awareness. I am recovering from a frozen shoulder operation that I had last Wednesday. It is followed, starting the next day with aggressive PT. Ouch! I am doing it all through tremendous pain. Six weeks, 3 x a week PT with exercises to do at home. After reading your article, which by the way came to me at just the right time, I am going to concentrate on being well, rather than on the pain.

    Thank you very much!
    Gail Sadowski

    1. Gail – You are such a strong lady. I know we are both mirrors for each other. I am praying for a speedy recovery for you. I am always here for you if you ever need anything!
      Much love,
      Mary Ellen

  4. Thank you for these insightful guidelines. We live in a world of selfishness, but as you have pointed out, we must be aware of ourselves enough to be well grounded so we may then serve others. Thanks for reminding me of this today!

    1. Yes – during my life time our world has changed quite a bit. I long for the manners of yesterday with hand written notes, letters etc.. To many times we look at another person and judge or criticize when we are actually only seeing ourselves.
      Thank you JEJ for taking the time to leave a reply. You are appreciated!

  5. Such wise words, yet so many us (including me) don’t always heed them Thanks for the reminder Mary Ellen. As usual you are always profound and elegant when sharing your glorious wisdom with all of us.

    1. Thank You – Wellnesswoman40 – for taking the time to reply to my small article. It has been such an honor getting to know you and being on the Wellness Woman Team!
      I am honored to know such a fine person!

  6. Thanks Mary Ellen for your insightul and inspiring words. You are truly an inspiration and blessing to me!

    1. You are the BEST Roxane and I miss you ALL the time! Thank you for your response. I am grateful for knowing you and having you in my life.

  7. That’s a good one Mary. To be honest, I have made the right chooses,and have the life I desire. My life is amazing. Never dreamed of this life. Its about learning fr yesterday and living for today, with the hope for tomorrow.

  8. This is a fantastic article that has reached me at a difficult time in my life. Thank you for your inspiring words. Yes we do all have a choice.

  9. Fantastic article Mary Ellen. You are an inspiration to all of us because of who you are and the way you live life to the fullest! God bless

  10. I really appreciate your inspiring words of wisdom! I will be reading this one often. Your insights have helped me become the person I want to be. Your life and insights are truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing them!

  11. I am lucky to call Mary Ellen friend and I feel her inspiring words are a true ministry to so many. She daily reminds us of where our focus should be. Mary Ellen’s wisdom comes from her own life experiences. She has faced health challenges and made a conscious decision to not let them define her. Thank you. You are a blessing.

  12. These words of wisdom are for young and old, and all the ways we come! You are both lofty and down to earth at the same time. Your messages speak to me no matter where I am “AT.” 🙂 The composite work I have done on my own and under your direction is making me more and more the person I want and need to be – for me and everyone else. It works! Keep talking to us! I don’t know why, but we do need reminders.

  13. Mary Ellen inspires me and gives me the strength to get through difficulties when they come.
    What a wonderful blessing she has been to me in my life. I am so glad I met her!!!

    1. Very true Matt – I know many people who go through their entire life asleep or not knowing their goodness. Your comment is right on target. I know more and more people are awakening to the Truth within !

  14. Everything is fine How do you become aware? this is what I want to know, if you tell me then I shall apply the techniques and become aware, as I am not aware I lost many thing in my life such as trust, friendship, unnecessary arguments, anger. Thank you and blessings.

    1. How do you become aware? That is a very good question Arulampalam! By simply asking that question tells me that you are already a very conscious or aware person otherwise the question would not matter. The easiest way to become aware is through a philosophy that I call “one finger out three pointing back” meaning the good you see in others is the good you have in yourself and the things in other people that “hook” you or really bother you are God’s Way or The Universe’s way of showing you what you need to become aware of in yourself!
      Let me know if I might assist you further!

  15. Dear Mary Ellen,
    Thank you for your inspirations. But I have a question though, if we come from a different cultural background, different mother toungue, there is always misunderstanding as I experience a lot, although having a good intention. I like harmony, have an open mind and at the same time I like to discuss things.

    1. You are correct – cultural differences can make things difficult between cultures however you still can become aware of YOURSELF! What do You see in other people that you admire? These characteristics are inside of you or you would not be able to see them. Also how do other people upset you? Why? What do you need to learn from that experience? Harmony is good and to have an open discussion YOU must be open minded to another’s point of view.
      Let me know if I might assist you further. Thank you for your comment!

      1. Thank you for your reply Mary Ellen. I hope that I do not take a lot of your time in this site; as I find the other way round, that I sometime make people not comfortable ( I see through their look to me) or stange when I say something as I do not mean to upset or give a negative thought to them. I am aware of that, as sometimes people (the third person) asked me why I was angry to the one I talked to. And it surprised me, as I was not angry at all, and the person I was talking to, did not see either that I was angry. But the statement from others make me feel that I did something wrong.

        1. Hi Irma,
          At times people are not aware of how they sound or what facial expressions are coming across to others during a conversation. I usually ask if I am uncertain about a conversation. You might try using a “mirror” to talk to as this will show you what others see when you speak. This “mirror” technique is very useful.
          Hope this helps – you can follow my Truth of the day on Facebook every Monday thru Friday!

          1. I will try this mirror technique and I think it will work. Thank you, Marry Ellen:)

  16. your emphasis on awareness, self-awareness and the vital big importance of small detail ……is brilliant
    how much of it all is or isn’t ‘selectivity’ is questionable
    I thank you

    1. Thank you Peter for taking your time to comment . Yes at times awareness is selective and also a choice – most people do not want to become aware of themselves so the “ego” mind protects them by blaming others.
      Thank again
      Mary Ellen

      1. yes, I agree that taking responsibility predisposes to choice and selectivity: what I had in mind were occasions and circumstances which preceded and/or overwhelmed us; without excusing oneself or projecting blame, externally, procedural awareness, I don’t think, is neither an unassumed ‘given’ nor necessarily a
        carefully cultivated ‘blessing’
        thanx for your response to previous post

  17. Thank you Mary Ellen – your articles and thoughts inspire me everyday! Your sharing and giving are changing so many lives and helping us to become who we want and should be!

  18. Love this, Mary Ellen. It’s so true, too, what we focus on, we magnify. Focusing on the right things is super important. ?

  19. Such good words of advice! I have read Mary Ellen’s writings, and her words always ring true. This lesson is one that should be read over and over.

  20. Mary Ellen thank you once again for such amazing words of guidance! Truly inspirational as well as full of wisdom that should forever be shared!

  21. This is simply inspiring. I needed to read something inspiring as I woke up this morning and I landed here. Definitely have to visit everyday. Thanks Mary.

  22. M.E.C.!!! DID YOU WRITE THIS FOR ME????!!! LOL!!! Ok, I am AWARE that I am being a little selfish here!! Although I tell you the TRUTH it appears to me as I read it that it was so much for me even down to the very LAST WORDS…..SONG in your heart! My music publishing is SONGS OF THE HEART MUSIC and I LOVE to SING and, I try to keep a song in my heart at all times!! I have BECOME AWARE that I have many issues that I need to work on but of course I feel being on time is one of the biggest issues that I have….BUT……If I tell you I am going to do something I do it, so I am a woman of my word!! Anyways I am TRULY INSPIRED by your many writings!! You are a GENUINE and TRUE…ETERNAL INSPIRATION for MANY!! Keep up the great work that you do because there will ALWAYS be someone out there in this BIG HUGE world who needs your gift for more reasons than one! THANKS AGAIN for your gift to us, and MUCH LOVE! “WYLEANER” L.V.Q.O.G.

  23. Thank you Mary Ellen, what a wonderful piece of wisdom to brighten up my morning. Humility, self awareness, kindness to self an others, gratitide and love all encapsulated in your wonderful article. Go well 🙂

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