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From birth to this point in your life, you are an amalgam of your life experiences. They are the events and interactions with others that have defined you, from childhood games of playing house in cardboard boxes to tumultuous adult bedroom alliances.

Each scene of your life blends with the others to create your story–or at least the story about you that you’ve scripted so far. Your story is, in fact, just a story. The beauty of the life you live is that you can redefine or, as I call it, rescript your story any time you want!

You are the scribe of every scene in your life. So, you are the one who gets to choose how you want to be in your story, which direction you want the story to take, and how you want to interpret it. In other words, your entire life is based on your scene translations.

Unfortunately, you can’t see into your own future, so it is not always clear what the consequences of your decisions will be or how you will hold the resulting outcomes or stories in your mind. Like many people, you probably define the subsequent experiences as either “good” or “bad.” You judge yourself as “wrong” or as having made a mistake if things don’t work out the way you intended.

Defining events that occur as good or bad presupposes that you are a casualty rather than a power player in your own life. The truth is there are no mistakes in life, but there are choices.

Admittedly, some of your choices have been or will be better than others, but the beauty of having the ability to choose is that you are in charge of what happens to you. And with every choice you make, for better or worse, there are lessons to be learned and personal growth to be attained. That is really what your life and being in relationship are all about.

The more you learn and grow, the more confident a person you will become. Take time to reflect on your key life experiences. These events and your responses (or thoughts, beliefs, and ultimately, choices) to these events have led you to become who you are today. Your thoughts became your beliefs, and your beliefs became your story.

Now it’s your choice to redefine the experiences and rescript a whole new story to create the enviable new life you desire.

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Kerri Zane is an Emmy award winning, twenty-year veteran television producer, healthy living expert, single mom advisor, radio co-host and speaker. She has an M.A. in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and a B.A. from UCLA. She is a member of NATAS, the Directors Guild of America, an ACE Certified Personal Trainer and Weight Management Consultant.

Her new book is called It Takes All 5: A Single Mom’s Guide to Finding the REAL One. Designed to help the more than 10 million single moms in the United States heal the whole woman, inside and out, it prepares them to take the plunge back into the world of dating and mating with confidence. Then utilizing her 5-Finger Philosophy, they will be able to identify not just “the one” but “The REAL one,” for an authentic and renewable “REAL”ationship.

It Takes All 5: A Single Mom’s Guide to Finding the REAL One is published by Morgan James (November 2012).

For more information, please visit

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. I can’t believe that no one has commented on this inspiration. No one else has a story? Maybe they will after I tell a small story about how I became the person I am today.As most humans h gone through hardship. As for me, also. I have learned from those hardships, to find myself, and what I believe who I thought I was, to realize that I wasn’t liking who I was. So had to look inside to me. Change to the man I was supposed to be. I had to get rid of the negative people in my life, and replace them with positive people, who wanted nothing from me, but to walk part of our journey together. It was a strange life I was living.
    I will leave the story here, so others can add to my story. Hahaha
    Thanks for your story Kerri.

    1. Dear Patrick,

      Thank you so much for sharing your story so far! I know you’ll keep growing and writing the story you want to read in your life!

  2. Kerri, your perspective has beautiful imagery. It’s so important to be reminded that there’s a fluidity to life. Yes, we’re the sculptures of our own reality, but that sculpture is not made of marble; it’s an organic and pliable living substance that can be reshaped and molded according to what we choose to envision. Thanks.

  3. Love this, Kerri! Everyone has a story–and your tips helps to sort through and find the chapters of one’s life.

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