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True bliss is finding happiness in the moment, in what is. Doing whatever you love in life will bring that happy moment, but first you must figure out what that thing is that’s most important to your happiness. And to figure it out takes self-reflection. That’s where practice and process needs to happen. Every day.

I recommend some practice that makes you pause and look within you like yoga, journaling, mediation or prayer. Whatever you call it. But you must stop consciously every day and do it.

This is all it takes. Consistency. Devotion.

The biggest discovery you will make is that having what you “desire” will not make you happy. Happiness really does come from inside you, from living your joy in life. You have to be in control of your mind. Do not follow what you desire—instead follow your intuition of what your joy is.

Make your mantra—I do not want what I desire. This is not where happiness is found. When you feel yourself desiring something, the quicker you can let it go, the better. The sooner you’ll get a rush of bliss.

Realize that you are not the one doing the desiring. It’s the mind. And you are not the mind. You lie behind the mind.

The more you notice your desires the better! Now that you have the key, all those desires are opportunities to let bliss come rushing in. By letting go consciously of the desires, you feel an immediate lightness.

Yes, you’ll catch yourself throughout the day feeling that blissful connection fading away, but the more you practice living in consciousness, you’ll find the period between getting back to that sensation of bliss getting shorter.

Remember you must work spiritually every day. Sticking with what your gut tells you. That one true voice defeats the devil. That’s all religion is trying to teach.

By giving up all “desires” you find happiness. Just do that and happiness rushes in to fill the void. Amazing. Be enlightened every day. But you have to take the time to go inward.

That’s where practices like yoga and writing come in. It’s simple. Keep letting it go. That’s it. Release.

Enlightenment is here. Now. But yes, you will have to refind it every day. That is the task, the challenge. Trusting that you’ll find that bliss again.

Every moment you remember is a moment of happiness. It’s here, now. You can embrace anything and everything. And as you breathe it in, feel the surge of energy rushing up through you with your breath. And bliss fills you.

Get here and return here through the body (yoga), the breath, and the mind (writing). And then, your result is bliss!

Embrace it and let go of all reservations or past beliefs and joy rushes in, complete.

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Sheila Hageman is a multi-tasking wife and mother of three who blogs for The Huffington Post. Her memoir, Stripping Down, is a moving meditation on womanhood and body image.

Also check out her Decision-Making Guide and Self-Discovery Journal, The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It), that helps women to further value their own identities through their quest to understand their motivations for stripping.

She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Hunter College, CUNY, where she also graduated as valedictorian as an undergraduate. She is a Yoga instructor and teaches Writing at Housatonic Community College and Kaplan University. She has work in many anthologies and magazines like Salon, The Fertile Source, Prime Mincer, and Foliate Oak Literary Journal.

To learn more about Sheila and everything she does, please visit or her blogs, and

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This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Not only is this what I needed to hear today, but it’s what I told a friend this morning. So it really became a validation for me, and I thank you for that. Our mind is so attached to believing it needs to know what we desire and go about making it happen. The greater message however, which you put forth, is the fact “we are not our mind”. I’ve been out of my mind a number of times and have experienced the coincidences bringing about exactly what I needed. My mind could never have come up with what presented itself to cover my needs. Again, thank you.

  2. Sheila… this is a GREAT post!

    DON’T PUT YOUR HAPPINESS IN SOMEONE’s HANDS WHO CAN’T HANDLE IT! They won’t value YOU, and they might make you think it’s up to them whether you are happy, or not. You should Live to expect Happiness… it’s your right! However, don’t expect for it to sneak up on you, out of nowhere. It’s going to take work on your part. You have to plan your Happiness. You may not think that’s possible, but it actually is. But the way to do that is, of course, by having Faith in GOD… and knowing GOD can make it happen for you, no matter what someone else may tell you.

    Look at it this way… you can’t change the beautiful displays in a store window by window shopping. You have to be inside (inward) to change it. Then, everyone outside (outward) can behold… and admire its true beauty. In the same way, your life is a beautiful display. But it often needs to be nurtured inwardly, in order for people to appreciate who you are, outwardly. Many people think “HAPPINESS” can be found by reading tips from a book… or that “HAPPINESS is:

    • The successful person who seems to have it all together
    • The rich and famous who don’t want for anything, naturally
    • The go-getter who can push people around to get what they want
    • Just having someone to be with

    Nope! That’s the world’s design for Happiness. But no matter what you do outwardly to be happy, you will never find it if you don’t build the foundation for it inwardly, at first. Happiness begins and ends with GOD. It’s GOD’s will for you. Still, in order to find it in its purest form… you have to do things GOD’s way.

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