I am unapologetically optimistic about everything, because life is too short to do otherwise.
This thing called life is the best invention ever! Sure, it has had me on my knees a few hundred times but every time, I get up a better more capable me.
There have been many times when I wanted things to be different than how they were… not anymore! Now I take life as it comes. I have finally caught the hang of it: I expect life to show up being life – full of stuff! And I don’t take any of the stuff personally.
It took me a long time to realize circumstances rarely hurt. What hurts is the story I make up about the circumstances. Something happens. But instead of saying this or that happened and acknowledging how I feel about it, I use to go one step further and create an “against me” interpretation of the facts.
For example, that my parents got divorced is a fact. That that meant they did not value me is an “against me” interpretation of that fact.
I was shocked when I took a deeper look into to my past and realized that at the core of my most painful experiences the facts were never against me. The facts were just the facts. However, in every case, my interpretations of the facts were always against me.
They painted me either as a victim, less than in some way, or simply not good enough. Once I became conscious of my tendency to unconsciously draw hurtful conclusions against myself, I stopped treating myself in this way. I turned the old tendency into a treasure hunt.
Today, when I find myself in challenging circumstances, I create empowering supportive interpretations. This is completely doable without distorting the facts or behaving irresponsibly. Instead of thinking or feeling “Why me?”, I ask an effective empowering question:
How can this challenge be a doorway to my greatness?
An effective empowering question always allows for fulfilling possibilities. I assume that life is for me and not against me. Therefore, I practice leading with trust. I practice believing that everything that takes place in my life comes by way of divine order. This means the challenges, no matter how difficult, come bearing gifts. This is my special brand of self-love.
I believe we all are born innately fabulous. Then, we get mired in misinterpretation and our fabulousness becomes buried by our survivalist management of life. Waking Up Fabulous means learning to see and value your innate fabulousness no matter what facts and circumstances show up. So start Waking Up Fabulous!
Fabulous me to Fabulous YOU,
Tina
Tina, your message is uplifting, your smile is contagious! How wonderful it would be to have a friend just like you!
Hi Bonnie,
The definition of friend is “a person attached to another by feelings of affections or personal regard.” We are definitely friends. If you want to stay in touch come over to http://www.tinalifford.com/. There’s a free gift waiting.
Let’s create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Fabulous! Thank you for the affirmation and clarity of accepting life as it comes and our not identifying with its constant flux but holding on to the Truth of our constant Fabulous Self…that is contagious, like your fabulous smile! Blessings.
Jayashree,
I am in the midst of preparing for my retreat workshop in Punta Mita, Mexico. It is full of insights and exercises that provide the INNER strength to take our lives BACK from the lies that enter our lives. In my book “The Little Book of BIG LIES,” http://amzn.to/1i1vbng, I define a lie as ANYTHING–comments, experiences, thoughts, memories– that separates you from the truth of your innate wholeness and worth. No matter how tenacious the lie, or how overwhelming a past hurt or frustration, we can dismantle its power over our lives. Thanks for being a part of this journey with me.
Let’s create fulfilling lives,
Tina
http://www.tinalifford.com
Hi Jayashree,
Staying connected to Self is the pathway to personal freedom and joy. This takes work. Society teaches us to see ourselves as not good enough. This is why it is important to surround ourselves with people, information and social connections where we feel safe, seen and heard. In such environments we get to practice seeing ourselves as innately whole and worthy. If you like “Fabulous At The Core,” you will like my other blogs. Visit my website at http://www.tinalifford.com. Also, check out my book from Amazon. If you don’t get tons of value from it I’ll buy it back from you. http://amzn.to/1i1vbng.
Let’s create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Gooooo Jayashree!
Jayashree,
Please forgive all the replies to your ONE post. Inspire Me’s Today’s system is doing goofy things. First, your name keeps coming up. First time it seemed that my first reply was rejected, so I did another. Then your name came up again with a new comment, I replied to you AGAIN, then discovered the comment I was replying to actually belonged to someone else. At this point I don’t know if it me being technologically challenged, or a WordPress glitch. Hopefully it won’t keep happening. If it does, then hopefully I’ll be sharing things meant for others that you too can appreciate. Lol.
Be well.
Tina
Wow! just what I needed today at this moment, your empowering question “How can this challenge be a doorway to my greatness”. Thank you so much for truly saving my day, once again I am feeling fabulous.
Freida
Hi Freida,
In the first version of my play, THE CIRCLE, there was line that said, “Whenever you need a circle, a circle appears.” This is so true. We can all benefit from paying more attention to how when we really need support or guidance, it mystically appears. I’m glad “Fabulous At The Core” supported you today. Be on the watch out for all the good that is always trying to make its way into your life.
Let’s create fulfilling lives.
Hugs,
Tina
You Are Certainly “Fabulous” for Sharing this with us,,, Thankyou!
Hi Charles,
Thanks for taking time to read, AND COMMENT! If you like this Fabulous At The Core blog you like the blogs on my website at http://www.tinalifford.com. Have a Fabulous day.
Let’s create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Dear Tina,
I agree with the comments above, most especially how creative and has-the-potential-to–be-Brilliantly-Powerful, “How can this challenge be a doorway to my greatness?” Really is. Thank you for sharing this insightful modus-operandi that I think I’m going to adopt.
I have some meditating to do on how to apply this now, so until we meet again (via pixels or in person), I send my sincere appreciation!
Warmly,
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
I love your comment. You sound like a person familiar with spending quality time with yourself. If you’re looking for ways to apply the concept in the blog, my book The Little Book of BIG LIES is perfect for you. You can check out the Amazon reviews here: http://amzn.to/1i1vbng. If you buy the book and don’t get great value from it, I’ll buy it back from you. For real! My work is all about applying, applying, applying. Visit my website and discover a free gift that will give you a whole new way of seeing and applying.
Let’s create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Thank you fabulous Tina. That was a fabulous inspiration. I woken up about 5years ago, that was when I started negative self talk. I had got to the core of who I thought I was, and now to who I wanted to be. Now I love myself, and can love you. I never thought I would say that. I ran my whole life on hate. Except for 5 years. Funny. Now I live my life, about learning from yesterday, living for today, and the hope for tomorrow. I laugh at myself, because I have a life, I never dreamed I could ever have. It was how much inside work on myself, to be living it
Thank you Tina. Lots of Love
Hi Patrick,
I LOVE your comment. I believe most people unconsciously practice hateful tendencies. When this behavior is against ourselves, I refer to that as self-rejection. Self-rejection includes feeling unworthy, not good enough, speaking harshly to or about oneself, and burdening ourselves with irrational standards and expectations. I am thrilled that you woke up from these life-depleting tendencies. If ever you want to engage more exercises and concepts in this direction, my book, “The Little Book of BIG LIES,” is a great resource. You can checkout the Amazon reviews here: http://amzn.to/1i1vbng. If you buy the book and don’t get value from it, I’ll buy it back from you!
Let’s create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Dear Tina,
God certainly places people where they can do more good than perhaps even THEY realize. Tina, I believe you may have saved my ‘life’. While my existence seems certain for at least a while longer, praise God! , the “living” aspect had been MOST tenuous. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough. In four month I lost 136yrs of relationships. It felt staggering. A mother and two friends. Seven months later I STILL feel like a boat without keel or sail. {a pretty funny analogy from a proud, life-long Kansan; giggle!} Seriously though, I recognized and internalized your feelings about putting the ‘victim header’ on things. So many things, like God with a very suspect sense of humor, were hitting me that folk actually seemed to take an emotional step back to avoid what I like to call “Karmic Splatter”.
Tina, it’s exhausting. I am strong and I thank my Father that I can recognize that. Still I am weary. And frightened. I thank you for your message. It managed to even break the damn “Great Signal Rift” over my tiny corner of Topeka. Father has used You to help me get past enduring to hopefully “living” again.
My thanks and His blessings be with you. You were a beacon this somewhat dismal Saturday.
With loves and sprinkles,
Shannon Akins
[email protected]
Hi Shannon,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENT! I highly recommend you do TWO things. First, go to my website at http://www.tinalifford.com and sign up for the “Secret Strategy.” This will lead you to some free resources that I trust will further positively impact you. Second, READ MY BOOK! It is a relatively quick read. If you don’t get tons of life enhancing value from it I will buy it back from you. Here are the Amazon reviews: http://amzn.to/1i1vbng.
You CAN BRILLIANTLY NAVIGATE LIFE. The fact that we met while you were struggling is evidence that you are connected to something far greater than either of us. Trust that you matter, and that the entire universe of God is working to support you.
Let’s create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Hi Shannon,
The posting system Inspire Me Today is using seems to be a little wonky. I replied to this post on Friday. But I don’t see the post. I am hoping you received. More importantly I am hoping you received my suggestions on ways to care for yourself as you wade through the current difficult times.
Warmly,
Tina
Tina- Thank you for sharing your learnings and your journey. There’s something that always makes me tingle when I read your messages, because I know it’s all come from a place of experience. Thanks for sharing and including me in your “circle”.
Hi djanmo,
THANK YOU for taking time to engage with me through this post. For years I actively prayed that I have the stamina and grace to walk through doors first so that I can turn around and help others do the same with greater grace and ease. Our society is only now BEGINNING to learn the art and intricacies of wellbeing. I am an inner fitness trainer. It is my role and honor to help others make life SIMPLE, BETTER and FUN.
Let’s create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Hi djanmo,
This WordPress system is acting a little wonky. I responded to your post a couple of days ago. However I don’t see my response here. I hope you received. Just making sure you know I appreciate you and the fact that you took time to connect. Life is a journey. One that is not always easy. In fact sometimes it is down right hard. But community–whether a friend, or a blog–can make hard times less lonely.
Let’s continue to create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Fantastic! A paradigm shift for living a more joyful life! You have such great insight and a great way of explaining things.
Thank you Tina.
Hi sandrashaud,
Thank you for taking time to read! “Paradigm shift” is the perfect phrase. When we can shift how we are looking at any portion of life, we literally change our entire life. As an Inner Fitness Trainer it is my role and honor to help you redefine yourself as innately creative, resilient, empowered to choose, whole and worthy. Thanks for all the ways you show up!
Let’s create more fulfilling lives,
Tina
Tina, It is almost 5 in the morning and I’m up to finish reading a very boring but required book, due today. I perused my mail and saw you, Fabulous You, and smiled. Congratulations to you on your latest inspirational venture! Your article is Great and, as always, your words give just the nudge needed to invoke the fabulousness we all possess, to show up. I always go back decades to recall my impromptu visits on the stairs of your house, on Citrus, (while you multi-tasked, got ready for auditions, and lent an ear, or voice, to me All at once) You have been consistent, my friend. Thanks for doing the work and keeping us all connected thru this media. You should be proud. I am proud of you…Fabulous You!
Hi Khani,
How WONDERFUL to see you here. Thanks for taking the time to make a comment. I have always felt a mutual respect and appreciation between us. As for me staying the course, walking my talk is the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. It is how I get to be of greatest service. Here’s my perspective: i walk my talk, and talk the walk in order to support others in doing the same. Dissecting the walk is the only way to create external success and internal well-being.
Let’s continue to create more fulfilling lives.
Hugs,
Tina
Great morning food for the soul. I love the idea of posing an effective and empowering questions to yourself allows for such expansion of one’s self. Such a direct contrast to the criticism that’s so very easy to do when you’re experiencing some of life’s challenges. Thanks Tina for sharing a powerful tool to take my thoughts in a more positive direction. Continue to spread the divine wisdom of “waking up fabulous”!
Hi Schantelle,
So nice to see you here and to read your comment. One of the seven muscles for Inner Fitness is the ability to shift our energy and perspective. I cannot over-emphasize the importance and power of building this muscle. Making a shift in the midst of an old pattern REWIRES the pattern. This tool is as foundational to building a strong Inner Fitness core as sit-ups are to building a strong physical core.
Let’s continue to create fulfilling lives,
Tina
Wow, this was one of the most useful, life-changing, heartfelt, and uplifting posts I’ve read in a long time! Thank you for bringing a fresh perspective to the daily onslaught of facts that could undermine us if we weren’t vigilant about our automatic knee-jerk reactions to them. I just LOVE your question about “How can this challenge be a doorway to my greatness?” because that does make it all about me! 🙂 You brought a big smile to my day. Thank you for this post and your life!
Your words are inspirational. The part about how in examining your life the stories you made up about the circumstances, and not the ciircumstances themselves were what was hurtful, hit home. I love how you own the challenge of converting the story of you. Fabulous.
Howie
Amen and thank you
Good morning Tina Lifford,
I almost fell out of my chair from laughing when you stated “This thing called life is the best invention ever! Sure, it has had me on my knees a few hundred times”. I do believe each and everyone one of us, if we’re truly honest with ourselves has been there. As you write so honestly just a bit a self love will transform you into the belief of all the miracles that will be presented to you if you but accept them with grace and gratitude.
With love and gratitude,
Michael Stilinovich
I’ve been having a tough time lately. I feel depressed by the news, my social media, and the election. I’ve always thought of how I was the victim of circumstances beyond my control. I appreciate the idea that facts are facts. These things happened but they didn’t happen TO me. Today I deactivated my Facebook account. I was a very vocal, active, and sociable participant. But, lately I did not feel the love coming from my friends and family…mostly fear and hate. I had to step away and work on my fabulous – for me, my husband, my son, and his brother on the way. I replaced Facebook with Uplift. This is the first inspiration I’ve read. I’ll keep coming back because I need this positivity in my life. Thank you for sharing with us!
Very well written 👍😊.