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Finding balance in our lives is an elusive dream for many of us. Trying to balance home, work, health, spirituality and free time seems almost impossible.

Well, I am pleased to tell you that I’ve found the answer to creating balance in your life:

Forget about balance, you’ll never have it. Instead, create harmony in your life!

This differentiation is more than just semantics. It is a critical approach to looking at life that can free you up to see the world in a different way.

“Balance” assumes that we must spend a certain portion of each week devoted in equal measure to every item important in our life. The problem with this is that almost no one can really achieve that.

So what do we do about this? I suggest creating harmony. This is a way to look at the issue that has personally worked for me. Long ago I figured out that daily balance is almost impossible. But I found I could create harmony using a few core principles.

First, three simple words make a big difference: “Be here now.”

Wherever you are, be there. If you are at work, don’t think about the time you did not spend with the family the night before or what you should be doing with your significant other right now. When you are at home, don’t think about the work you have to do at the office. Wherever you are, be there… fully and completely.

Second, find ways to integrate various elements of your life.

For many years, I have spent weeks at a time up at my lake home in the mountains. Each year, I spend a week or two working from the lake house remotely. Now I bring up my staff and management team for short retreat/workdays. It is a great way to combine my work life into a leisure environment. Then, the last week or so, I take off COMPLETELY and spend time with my family. By integrating my two worlds, I create a sense of harmony.

Last, remember this: when you are 70 years old, you are not going to wish you spent more time at the office.

You don’t need to be a workaholic to be successful.

Focus on creating harmony in your life. Be creative. Don’t try to do the things I do or that someone else does. Find ideas that work for you and the life you live. Make the time to do the things that are important to you and be innovative. Harmony is created where harmony is sought!

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Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder & Chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization. BNI was founded in 1985. The organization now has almost 6,200 chapters throughout every populated continent of the world. Last year alone, BNI generated 6.9 million referrals resulting in almost $3.1 billion dollars worth of business for its members.

Dr. Misner’s Ph.D. is from the University of Southern California. He is a New York Times Bestselling author who has written 16 books including his latest #1 bestseller, Business Networking and Sex (not what you think). He is a monthly columnist for and is the Senior Partner for the Referral Institute – a referral training company with trainers around the world. In addition, he has taught business management and social capital courses at several universities throughout the United States.

Called the “Father of Modern Networking” by CNN and the “Networking Guru” by Entrepreneur magazine, Dr. Misner is considered to be one of the world’s leading experts on business networking and has been a keynote speaker for major corporations and associations throughout the world. He has been featured in the L.A. Times, Wall Street Journal, and New York. Times, as well as numerous TV and radio shows including CNN, the BBC and The Today Show on NBC.

Dr. Misner is on the Board of Trustees for the University of LaVerne. He is also the Founder of the BNI Misner Charitable Foundation and was recently named “Humanitarian of the Year” by the Red Cross. He is married and lives with his wife Elisabeth and their three children in Claremont, CA. In his spare time(!!!), he is also an amateur magician and a black belt in karate.

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This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Oh, thank you! What a relief to not feel stressed out about finding “balance!” Our family thanks you too! Harmony is MUCH more achievable and sustainable, especially amongst us (two musicians – one from USC.). We definitely appreciate your post today. Cheers, and God bless.

  2. be here now, integration/harmony/ balance and results seek a wholistic paradigm that respond to the creative self: thank you

  3. I like the harmony approach. Many people may think that when they say balance, but don’t really understand it nor convey it properly. This approach shows that balance or harmony, no matter what you call it, is not ‘a sprint,’ not focused on the immediate present or day, but rather is or should be achievable and sustainable over time. Thank you for this important lesson.

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