Struggling with Stress? It’s Time to Remember Who You Are
During stage three breast cancer treatment I was graced with two out of body experiences. I walked away with two reflections: one, how well did I love God, myself and those people around me? Two, how did I connect on a daily basis with my God-given talents and abilities and use them to inspire and bless those people around me? Align yourself with what you value most in this life. Did you forget what you value most in this life? Tune into what moves you to linger in a moment. Don't miss the opportunity for expansion and growth in the…
Make Time for What’s Important
Make time for your hopes, dreams and goals. Five years ago I had a life-altering experience that has contributed to the person that I am today, the adoption of my daughter, Mia. As my love for her grew, so did my hopes, dreams and goals, which were no longer just for me anymore but also for my daughter, husband, family, friends and the global community at large. With the demands of our busy lives it is so easy to lose sight of our hopes, dreams and goals. At every turn we are distracted by text messages, cell phone calls and…
Meditating from Panic to Peace
"I think I had an unhappy childhood!" I announced to a therapist at the age of 58. It's amazing what my brain had done to hide that fact from me. I'd developed a panic disorder at the age of 15. Terrified of the mental illness and sadness stalking my family, I'd self-medicated in high school, stashing a flask of vodka in my ever-present pocketbook. Over the next forty years, however, with the help of anti-anxiety medication, I managed to build a wonderful life for myself. I married a loving husband, had two beautiful sons, and enjoyed success in several different…
The Cost of Business as Usual
Most individuals in current business environments have the feeling of being chained to one’s desk for an inhuman amount of hours, running to endless meetings, and being bombarded by constant emails and calls. Many employees are doing the work of two or more people these days. Associates are being held accountable for unrealistic sales goals. Everything is a crisis. The result is stress. And a lot of it. The irony is that the more hectic our day, the more stress we experience and the less productive we become. When we are stressed, our fight-or-flight system kicks in, the same unconscious…
Death to Multitasking
I love going to Mexico. For every task, there is a “guy” who does it. They do not have jack-of-all-trades handymen. If you are working on your house, you do not call one person, but have to contact a separate plumber, electrician, and painter. And it is not just about home repairs. If you need your shoes shined, there is a guy for that. Our Mexican friend would never consider shining her own shoes; it is not her role and she would be taking away someone else’s job. She looks at us with a quizzical face when we talk about…
How Stressed Are You?
We may not realize how much stress affects us. The Price of Stress When we are stressed our limbic brain takes over, shutting down all body systems which do not help us fight or flee danger. Our digestive, reproductive and immune systems are turned off momentarily to move all our power and energy to our muscles to run or defend ourselves. Once the immediate danger is over, our systems revert back to normal functioning. The problem is today our stressors are not momentary physical dangers but a constant bombardment of mental stress. We rush the kids to school. We get…
When Control is Out of Control
Margie was the best hostess. She greeted everyone at the door. She passed appetizers and offered drinks. Margie ensured that everyone had a good time and that absolutely everything was perfect. The problem was - this was not Margie’s party. She was a guest at the party like everyone else and yet she acted as if she owned the place. Margie is a control freak. She needs to be in charge. She needs to be in control. I used to be like Margie. When I was in the height of my Type-A days, I was a major control freak. I…
You Had the Power All Along
Like the Scarecrow, Lion, and Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, I sought an expert to provide me with what I already held. Over a decade in corporate America led this Type A into physical distress. I was fatigued and irritable. My muscles were tight and painful. My digestion and reproductive systems were broken causing intense issues and discomfort. I was a wreck. Visiting doctor after doctor I was told there was nothing wrong. No illness. No disease. Prescriptions of all sorts were recommended – none of them really worked. After more than three years, I was frustrated, tired,…
4 Ways to Manage Workplace Stress
Workers seem more and more stressed every day. Technology has created expectation of an immediate response 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Short-term thinking and planning based on the focus of quarterly stock reports has increased the sense of importance for every project. We feel everything is an urgent priority needing instant attention. The “doing more with less” mentality has increased the amount of our responsibilities and what is expected of us. This has created a culture of inefficient multi-tasking. Below are four ways you can reduce the amount of stress you feel at…
Safety Checklist
Recently a client admitted to falling back into an old undesirable habit. Ashley had once again become a tyrant at home. She was obsessed with the cleanliness of her house. She worried about getting things done on time. She stopped interacting with her family. The only time she spoke to them was when she was barking out an order or reprimanding when something was not done correctly or on time. Ashley was obsessed with her to-do list. She was frantic to complete each item. She was becoming very stressed by all she wanted to complete. The first thing I told…
How to Drop the Drama and Enjoy Your Life
Our client, Cindy, was returning to work in just 2 weeks after a long hiatus. She had requested an individual session because, for no apparent reason, her life had become "dramatic". Perhaps you are familiar with this phenomenon. This is when perfectly normal situations appear to be larger than life and oh–so–dramatic. You go to the fridge and find there is no more milk for your coffee and it is grounds (pun intended) for a major melt down. You have a headache and suddenly an aspirin won't do – its time to plan an operation for your rapidly growing brain…
What Have You Lost in Constantly ‘Doing’?
In our fast-paced, multi-tasking, on-the-go-deadline driven work, we are often caught up in the act of “doing.” We move from task to task on our to-do list. We rush from work to class to home. We keep pushing ourselves to do more and do it better. But what is the cost? Do you have hobbies? Do you have passions? Or have you lost who you are to all of the things you are doing outside of yourself? Do you sleep well at night? Are you fit? Do you feel good in your body? What is your blood pressure? How is…
Why Are You Reluctant to Stop Doing It All?
When the behaviors of a Type A are out of control, we can take responsibility for situations and outcomes, for the feelings and experience or others, and for absolutely everything around us. We think everything is our responsibility, and thus, within our control to affect. We fear if we don’t take care of everything needing to get done, there will be horrible consequences. The stress coming from being overtaken by our Type-A tendencies, eventually takes a toll on our mood, mental clarity, relationships, work satisfaction, and our health. The goal of this book is to help reduce these negative side effects of…
Have You Become a Type A Personality?
The concept of a Type A personality has not been around for long. It was actually identified in the 1950s by two cardiologists, Drs. Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman, who were studying coronary heart disease. They found a link between personality types and heart disease. According to their research, they identified three types of behaviors: Type A, which they labeled as competitive, ambitious, impatient, aggressive, and fast-talking; Type B, which is more relaxed and non-competitive; and Type C, which is hardworking, but becomes apathetic when faced with stress. Those considered Type A were more prone to having high blood pressure,…
Can I Heal Myself with My Thoughts?
"I have an auto-immune disease and I'm always sick. I feel so poorly most days that it's hard to think positively. How can I possibly use my thoughts to heal myself, when I can't get out of the rut I'm in? And I beat myself up for feeling so poorly, which just makes things worse." ~ Emily, Burlingame, CA Dear Emily, Thoughts control your stress response. When your stress response is hyper-activated, the immune response is triggered to produce more inflammation. With more inflammation, your immune cells begin attacking, and in your case, they attack you. The more you beat yourself up for not…
Beyond Money and Power
Lately I have been experiencing a ground swell of desire for a new way to be and live. I expect to see this from my clients, however I am seeing it in places and people I would not expect. Arianna Huffington shares her thoughts about redefining success in her new book, Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom and Wonder. Instead of focusing solely on money and power, she calls us to look to a third metric centered on the quality of our lives. A relaxing weekend at a friend’s summer house becomes a discussion…
Feeling Creatures Who Think
Last week I shared Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's TEDx Talk with you and the idea that choosing to stay angry affects both your body and your mind. This week I'd like to share another powerful concept that Dr. Jill makes: that we are feeling creatures who think. We are not thinking people who feel, yet this is what our society believes and values – which is at the heart of many of our issues. Here is the science and biology behind it. Our limbic system is constantly asking, “Am I safe?” If things feel familiar to our limbic system, then we feel calm and safe. The system…
How Do I Do Better in School?
"I am preparing for my GMAT exam as it can give a great lift to my career and give me great learning opportunities. I am having a tough time studying and answering the questions. It infuses a great deal of stress and depression in me while I'm preparing for exam. I've kept a tutor as well but no matter how hard I try it seems I'm not making any progress and I'm not those gifted people who are quick with answering numbers. I have never been good at math and I'm facing math problems here. It appears that an evil…
School of HP: 5 Things Your Body Needs To Be Healthy
Every time we go on a beach vacation, to Mexico for instance, we end up at an all-inclusive resort. We love it because everything is taken care of. We don’t need to worry about cooking or what to do at night because all is provided. Just relax and recharge for a week or so and enjoy. Our kids love it, our friends love it, and we love it. There is one thing in particular, however, that I found intriguing, which made me understand what the body needs to be healthy and in proper working condition. Here is how that realization…