Tag: Letting Go

Facing Pain And Finding Freedom

So... I was at the nail salon once and decided I was quite overdue for an eyebrow wax (admittedly I don't go as often as perhaps I should - only several times a year max - since I don't really grow messy or bushy eyebrows). I'm not sure if it's because I am not used to it, or if it is just plain old painful, but each and every time I go, my eyes water from the discomfort (I habitually leave with black mascara running down my face), and I try to find ways to distract myself from it. I…

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Go Ahead, Jump On The Bed…With Your Shoes On!

If I asked you to jump on the bed right this very moment, would you be able to do it?  I mean really do it, without stopping to take your shoes off... without thinking for even one split second prior to taking the first step towards the bed? Most of you will instinctively stop first, think about your shoes, the bed, the sheets... your eyes would probably wander from one to the other... even if you pause for just a brief moment, it would feel awkward - perhaps even uncomfortable and unsettling - to dive onto the bed as is.…

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How Much Are You Carrying?

One day, I was so overwhelmed that I came up with this analogy for how I felt.  I felt like I was carrying 100 bags, and as I tried to steady myself, they began falling. As I reached to stop one from falling, inevitably another one fell. The vision in my mind ended with all the bags on the floor, and a frazzled “me” standing there, looking at the mess. I am sure many of you can relate to this. In today’s hustle and bustle society and culture, we try to do so many things at once. We try to…

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Sometimes My Fears Get So Intense

Sometimes my fears get so intense. It’s like my heart is in a vice grip and it’s squeezing all of the optimism and positivity out of me. Fortunately this has happened enough times over my lifetime to know that those fears are not me. They are not my truth. They are seeds that were planted at one point or another and I choose not to give them my power any longer. This is why I celebrate my fears and the anxiety that tends to come with them. Because when it’s on the surface, in my face and surging through my…

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My Fiancée Left Me. How Do I Move On?

"My fiancée recently broke up with me after a four year relationship. She said that I kept pushing her away and did not want to communicate with her about our life. I agree that I was not always approachable and at times took her for granted. Funny thing is, when she left, I realised how much I loved her (expensive lesson to learn). It’s been two months now, and see is seeing someone else, who she says is always there for her and just wants to be with her. (We stayed about an hour drive from each other and I could…

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Why Stay Angry?

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” – Mark Twain What was the last thing that made you angry? The bad driver cutting you off? Your kids not picking up their toys? You were passed over for a promotion? How long did you stay angry? An hour? A day? A week? According to Harvard-trained and published neuroanatomist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, your anger should only last for ninety seconds. To feel an emotion we need to think a thought which then stimulates an emotional circuit…

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Solving the Mystery of Letting Go

Sometimes the greatest truths are laid right before our eyes, in the simplest of things, and yet we just can't see them. Take for instance our own hands: what a miracle they are. If we consider for even a moment all they are capable of doing, it's evident that a great wisdom sits hidden behind their incomparable design. But, with this thought in mind, permit me to add one other to help us see another part of their special purpose that lies "hidden" in plain sight. What good would our hands be to us or, for that matter, to the…

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How Can I Move Forward from My Mistakes?

"Could you please share with me how can I get over my past mistakes and actions? 7 months ago I had a terrible fight with a friend of mine, whom I had feelings for. It was a long distance relationship. Due to anger and rage, I communicated harsh words to her. I tried apologizing but she's not ready to take my calls and has blocked me off all social networking sites and hasn't communicated since. I terribly feel her absence and I'm down with guilt. Every day thoughts of her keep running through my mind. I feel that if I'd…

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Can I Ignore Rather Than Let Go of an Issue?

"When there is something that bothers me, is it necessary for me to make the effort to 'clean up' my vibration and energy around that particular topic, or is it enough to simply distract myself and look in a different direction?" ~ Susan, Heber, UT Dear Susan, I always encourage cleaning up your vibration around anything that creates resistance in your life. Otherwise, each time that particular situation or person shows up in your reality, you continue to vibrate at the level of that resistance you hold about it or them. Put your focus on what it is you do…

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Girl looking through a telescope

Higher Help for Persistent Problems

Why do we end up as often as we do in those painful situations in which the last words usually spoken go something like, "How in the world did I get myself into this mess?" Sound familiar? It should. And while the answer to this woeful question should rescue us from similar future sticky situations, it rarely works out that way. This is very important to admit to ourselves. The truth is we keep falling into the same old snares. Why? There is an authentic answer to this question that may surprise you. The reason we haven't as yet realized…

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How Can I Forgive Betrayal?

"Hi, how can I forgive an infidelity and betrayal by my partner of 30 years, who has since left me? It has been a year since she left and I still have strong emotions; shock, sorrow, anger, grief, confusion that will not go away. I think about her every day and at night. My partner is 72 years old, survived cancer 2x while we've been together and has been professing her love to me all these years; telling me she looked forward to our future together. (I am 10 years younger.) I need to forgive, for myself more than for…

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New Year’s Eve, Drop All That No Longer Serves Behind You

Before midnight on New Year's Eve, take some time to reflect upon on your past. This past year and as far as you can remember. Refrain from going into story about the past or reliving old memories,  just reflect. And everything that you don’t want to drag into 2014 with you, drop it. Drop it like the ball that falls in Times Square each year. Drop it like a hot potato and let it go once and for all. Leave the past in the past so that you can move into 2014 with clear unencumbered focus. Between Christmas and New Year's Eve…

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How Can I Let Go of Negative Thoughts?

"I am sad about my marriage of 40 years being over. I have tried so hard to save it but we are just on different vibrations. What do I do with my negative thoughts when they come up??" ~ Kathy Rose, Los Angeles, CA Firstly, Kathy, I would ask that you be loving and kind to yourself. Coming to this realization is not an easy one and I am sure it is not a decision you have taken lightly. Forgiveness of yourself and of your spouse is helpful. Knowing that you have tried and you are both taking the best…

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Step Out of the Rush and Into Your Own Life

Before you can step out of the rush and into your own life, you must first see that while anxious, hurried feelings often lend a temporary sense of self-importance, these same racing emotions actually rob you of the power you need to be self-commanding. A brief investigation will confirm this finding. Self-command begins with being able to choose your own direction in life. And whether you're caught in the raging current of a white-water river, or being swept along by a flood of invisible thoughts and feelings, one fact remains: Like it or not, you're going where that current goes.…

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How Can I Let Go of My Stuff?

"How can I take steps to let go of my stuff?" ~ Pam, Dover, NH Hello Pam, This is a great question and one that needs to be on all of our minds. The power of "letting go" is universal and is at the center of all great wisdom teachings. And it is more critical today then ever. We have become a society of “closet hoarders." We’re looking for meaning in "more." Why? Because our culture continually "sells" us this lie. It is pounded into our mind from the day we are born and so we go about our lives…

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Let Go and Live the Extraordinary Life

When it comes to letting go and living in the Now, no sincere effort goes unrewarded. In the long run, it is not our ability to succeed with some individual task that determines our spiritual success, but our willingness to learn what is new and true about ourselves. Within each of us dwells a being without bounds, but unless it is explored and exercised wisely we will never know the heights to which we may rise. Imagine a newly fledged eaglet whose home rests high upon some rocky cliff, and that today it rises for the first time to stand…

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How Can I Let Go of Past Loss?

"How can I shed negative, debilitating memories of a job loss many years ago? These memories and thoughts affect me today." ~ Craig, Johannesburg, South Africa Dear Craig: Thank you for reaching out for insights into ways to release the hold the past has on you so that you can move forward. That tells me that you know it is possible. Good sign! One thing I would ask is that you consider the context of the job loss. Was it as a result of actions or inactions on your part or something over which you felt you had no control?…

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Letting Go of Past Wounds

There are few things I've learned that are more important to my relationships, than learning how to love, forgive, and appreciate everyone in my life. This has not only helped me heal from abuse, but has also taught me how to be present, because I'm not carrying around wounds from the past. I struggled in a relationship with the man who was married to my mother for over 32 years. He started making sexual advances towards me when I was 16. Not understanding his behavior, I wondered what I had done to deserve this from a man who was supposed…

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10 Tips to Get Through Hard Times

Each morning as we wake up we have a choice to determine the direction of the day. We can go into default mode and wake up fearful and worried about things like how am I going to pay the bills, heal this relationship, find a job, etc..... or we can make the conscious decision to choose the kind of day we'd like to experience. Many times the events of the day happen so quickly, we get caught up in the drama and we truly feel that we don't have a choice. Things just happen. Bad things happen to good people.…

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Moving Through Life

In case you're wondering why you haven't heard from me this week, we're in the process of moving from our home from Colorado to a new home in Montana. The past two weeks have been spent sorting and packing our treasures for the 1000 mile trek. And boy, has this brought up a lot of stuff for me! Physically relocating from one place to another is just like moving from one place to another emotionally, through the changes in our life. Why is it then, that we wait until we're ready to move to rid ourselves of excess baggage, in…

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Letting Go of the “HOW?”

The email response to my recent blog postings has been humbling. The number one question I've been asked is "HOW? How do I focus on the positive when I can't make payroll? How do I enjoy my day when I'm so miserable? How do I get rid of the fear that I feel inside?" HOW seems to be a big, scary word. In gathering my thoughts for this blog post I was wondering, "How do I help"? I was also stuck in the HOW of not knowing, yet wanting to be of service. And then something funny happened. I was…

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