How Can I Move Forward from My Mistakes?

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“Could you please share with me how can I get over my past mistakes and actions? 7 months ago I had a terrible fight with a friend of mine, whom I had feelings for. It was a long distance relationship. Due to anger and rage, I communicated harsh words to her. I tried apologizing but she’s not ready to take my calls and has blocked me off all social networking sites and hasn’t communicated since.

I terribly feel her absence and I’m down with guilt. Every day thoughts of her keep running through my mind. I feel that if I’d not said those words to her, we would have still been friends. She’s a great person to talk to and be around with… She’s moved to my city and I want to meet her in person to apologize and seek forgiveness, to get over with myself. I’m not sure if she’s interested to continue. But could you please suggest how I can take this forward, as it’s causing a lot of mental and psychological pain.” ~ Neo, United States

Dear Neo:

Thank you for opening your heart and mind to healing this relationship. Clearly it matters a great deal to you. In the heat of anger, many of us don’t use the filters that keep harsh words from coming out and feel deep sadness and remorse for expressing them; so know that you are not alone. It’s kind of like a feather pillow; once the feathers fly out, it’s hard to gather them up and stuff them back in. Your friend has felt the impact and has taken a step back to heal as well. Has she actually verbalized not wanting contact, or have her actions expressed that to you? You have respected her enough to let go at the moment.

One thing that I have done when challenges have arisen in my relationships is to use the ancient Hawaiian wisdom of Ho’oponopono that focuses on healing and reconciliation. It is a way of reaching out to someone in the fullness of your heart, even if you are not in their presence. It incorporates 4 statements that you repeat as often as you would like. They are: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. As you say them to her, you are also saying them to yourself, since you have shared that you are seeking relief as well. Self-compassion is an important part of the process too.

Another technique is to write a letter to her, saying everything you would say if she were standing in front of you. You need not send it. You might also visualize her with you and send loving thoughts. Thoughts are powerful and can travel great distances. Sometimes the longest is between our hearts and those of others; but it’s well worth traversing. The toughest part might be surrendering outcome for the Highest Good. I have seen miracles occur when I have done these things and recommended them to clients.

Wishing you the peace you desire.

Edie Weinstein

Edie Weinstein

Edie delights in inviting people to live rich, full, juicy lives. She is an internationally recognized, sought after, colorfully creative journalist, interviewer, author and editor, a dynamic and inspiring speaker, licensed social worker and interfaith minister, BLISS coach, event producer, certified Laughter Yoga Leader, certified Cuddle Party facilitator, and Cosmic Concierge.  Edie is the founder of Hug Mobsters Armed With Love, which offers FREE HUGS events world- wide on a planned and spontaneous basis. She speaks on the subjects of wellness, relationships, trauma recovery, addiction, mental health, spirituality, sexuality, loss and grief.   Edie is the author of The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into the Extraordinary and co-author of Embraced By the Divine: The Emerging Woman’s Gateway to Power, Passion and Purpose.  She has also contributed to several anthologies and personal growth books, including Taming the Anger Dragon: From Pissed Off to Peaceful.  Her work has been seen in Beliefnet,  Elephant .Journal  Psych Central, The Huffington Post, The Good Men Project,  as well as a growing number of other publications. She was the host of Vivid Life’s It’s All About Relationships on Blog Talk Radio for more than three years. Over the past 30 years, she has had the honor of interviewing His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Louise Hay, Judith Orloff, Debbie Ford, Arielle Ford, don Miguel Ruiz, Wayne Dyer, Bernie Siegel, Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson, Grover Washington, Jr., Dan Millman, Ram Dass, Olympia Dukakis, Shirley MacLaine, Dennis Weaver, Mariel Hemingway, Ben & Jerry and SARK. In the last four decades, she has worked with those who have been diagnosed with life-altering conditions, including mental health issues, cardiac disease, cancer, multiple sclerosis, infertility, end-stage conditions, eating disorders, addiction, traumatic brain injury, stroke, depression, and anxiety. She focuses on her clients’ resilience and assists them in developing a solid toolkit of coping skills. As both a clinician and a patient, she is aware of what it is like to be on the other side of the treatment relationship and can be of service to the patient, their caregivers, as well as the treatment team. Edie can address the issues that arise such as body image, trauma, sexuality, relationship changes, vulnerability, change in physical or cognitive ability, aging, end of life issues, and communicating needs. If you want to: 

  • Embrace life fully
  • Release patterns that have kept you from moving forward
  • Re-write the narrative to create the life of your dreams and desires
  • Enhance your relationships
  • Become an Opti-Mystic who sees the world through the eyes of possibility
Contact me today to see how I can meet the needs of your organization, publication or the person who looks back at you when you gaze in the mirror.

For more information, please visit opti-mystical.com.

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