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I like to think I was a control freak, but I guess I still am. Back in the old day I was a micromanager, taking responsibility for every aspect of a project even if it wasn’t mine. I would stay awake at night worrying about outcome. I would plan and scheme what else I could do to make the project work. Fortunately, for the most part, I have released much of those tendencies. My next challenge is releasing my focus on outcome for things that define success for me.

Many a sage says to release the outcome. It is about the journey not the destination. And I totally get the concept. I have even experienced the peace of releasing myself from the results. It is pretty easy to do for something like, for instance, finding the right parking space or arriving to an appointment on time. It is even possible for me to release the focus on outcome when it comes to mine own and the health of others. I trust that the right thing will happen and at the right time. I know, really zen of me, huh? But when it comes to the results of my business, it is more difficult to get to that zen place.

Melissa Heisler - Man-In-Pool-With-ComputerTake for instance the crowdfunding campaign for my book, Moving From Type A to Type Me: Stop “Doing” Your Life and Start Living It. In my heart of heart I trusted that things would work out for the best, but when the results didn’t happen immediately, my conscious trust began to falter. In doing so, I also overlooked the amazing support I received from friends, family, clients, and strangers. Instead I focused on the bottom line numbers which didn’t not match my expectation. Then I went into the spiral of self-doubt thinking that maybe this book and my purpose to help others isn’t really my purpose. The problem, as usual, lay in my beliefs.

As I started exploring why it is difficult to remain open and trusting with this campaign and other projects around my business, I wanted to write the noble statement that it was because helping others is so important to me, which it is true. But the real reason projects around my business are so emotional for me is that after all my personal work, and there has been a ton, I still equate professional success with my self-worth. Guess it is the final hold-out from my old Type A days and something that I wholeheartedly release now. In doing so I found that my campaign was successful beyond my expectations because of the encouragement and support I received from friends, family, clients, and strangers. Through promotional classes I saw how what I teach can have immediate effects. I received validation for the gift I have to share.

Where in your life are you focused on success, outcome, or completion? Look past what it is you want to accomplish and search for what achieving or not achieving it means to you. Then release the meaning and look around you for all the good that is happening for you which is not related to your expected outcome. Sometimes we miss what we need most because we are focused on what we think we want.

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Melissa Heisler is a Stress Reduction Expert. After 10 years managing and directing theatrical productions followed by a Masters in Integrated Marketing Communication and 17 years in corporate marketing, the stress of high pressure, deadline driven jobs led to her own ill health mentally and physically. This started her search for a long-lasting means of approaching each situation with more ease, contentment, and power. Melissa is committed to guiding professionals to improve their health, increase their mental clarity, easily deal with difficult people, and find peace in their current jobs all through reducing their stress levels.

Melissa is the host of The Empowerment Show and also a contributing author for the books, Be There Now: Travel Stories From Around the World and Defining Moments: A Gathering of Women’s Journeys. Her first solo book, From Type-A to Type-ME: A Framework for Stress Reduction is being published in 2014. She has also contributed to Experiences of the Light, to be published by Career Press / New Page Books in 2014.

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