Just a few weeks ago I found myself mentoring a client who had gone through a major loss and life change. While sometimes difficult, rebuilding your life after a loss or big change can also be one of the greatest opportunities in life.
When we look to Nature, we see that rebirth and renewal are a standard part of life. And like the newness of the Spring, we get to start over with the wisdom that we’ve learned from our past experience of what works and what doesn’t. Life is giving us a clean slate to create anew.
I’ve personally been through many major life changes and “do overs” in my 50 years, some intentional, most not. The wisdom that I’ve learned in how to succeed is this:
We can choose to focus on where we’re going, not where we’ve been. You can’t move forward on your path when you’re looking behind you. Imagine the results of hiking up a trail while looking backwards. It wouldn’t work very well. Life is the same way- we must focus on the destination.
We can only have one thought in our minds at the same time, so choose to make it make it a good thought. Beating yourself up for what may appear to be a failure serves no one. We have a limited amount of energy and it is far better to spend it creating the new life we desire rather than berating ourselves over the failures of the past.
Forgive yourself and others and move forward.
Life will be a much happier place when we realize there is blessing in every situation, even the one that created the opportunity to rebuild. Sometimes it takes a few years before we’re able to see it, but whether we can see it or not, the blessing is always there.
Adversity in our lives isn’t always a bad thing. We grow only through change, both external and internal. Adversity can be turned to opportunity simply by adjusting our perception and our attitude.
We are creatures of habit and taking the leap to do something different- whether voluntary or not, often causes fear. Many times we allow that fear of the unknown to hold us back from experiencing all that life has to offer.
Instead, step forward toward your goal, harness the fear that you feel and let it be your motivator.
Fear, properly channeled, can be rocket fuel to reaching your dreams.
Sometimes the new path can look overwhelming. That’s when we have to remember that just as we can climb an entire mountain with baby steps, one small action a day will help rebuild our new life.
Keep the faith and move forward with gratitude and new doors will be opened unto you. For when you are grateful, more blessings will flow your way.
Always remember, you’re not alone. Connect to your community and to whatever greater Source you believe in. Ask for help and it will be there for you.
Through faith, courage, and an attitude of gratitude, you can accomplish anything.
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Focus on where you are going not where you have been. Perfect statement. Don’t dwell on that lost business deal or failed idea. Focus on the next one and not letting anything get in the way of it.
Can you give me a few pointers into how to properly channel fear and turn it into rocket fuel????
Even though I am a very chatty bubbly person generally with lots of passion for almost everything and love talking, I have developed a phobia of public speaking and the more I do it, the worse it gets!!! I recently turned down an opportunity to talk to a group of women about my business, ( I’m a LaStone therapist) because my fear turned me into a stuborn child that just didn’t want to do it!!!
I decided to work on ways of promoting my business that i am stronger at and focusing on how amazing I am and being grateful for my wonderful life instead of beating myself up over the things i think I should beable to do.
It has helped move me into a more positive vibration but any advice you or anyone else out there can give me will be gratefully recieved and acted upon!!
Love and light
Thanks for writing to me this morning. I am not a therapist but I can tell you what works for me.
First off, you are not alone. Fear of public speaking is the #1 thing we as humans fear. (Funny, isn’t it? You’d think it would be lions, tigers or bears, but it’s just sharing from our hearts in front of others who might laugh at us. When I put it in those terms, it always helps me.)
Seriously, you are not alone. No one wants to be humiliated in front of others. However, the fear that you are feeling is energy, which CAN be channeled into rocket fuel. Let me ask you this…. Why do you want to speak? Are you following your passion? Are you talking about what you choose to talk about? if you’re talking about a subject that you’re passionate about sharing with others, you won’t fail. You can’t fail when it comes from your heart. If you’re experiencing panic, ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing and how you can shift it from a place of panic to a place of passion. When you’re speaking because you just HAVE to share a message, focus on the message (your passion) and the fear will transform itself into excitement.
Sometimes fear shows up as a way to nudge us back onto our path when we’ve gone astray. Other times it’s there to help us grow. It is not our enemy. It’s just an emotion, just energy, and nothing more. But here’s the cool part- we get to choose where we want to apply that energy!
A wise mentor once told me that the only difference between fear and excitement was the breath. Fear is excitement without breathing. If you want to turn fear into excitement, just breathe into it. You might even put yellow post it notes on the podium that just say BREATHE! It’s a good reminder at any point, but especially when you’re doing public speaking.
If you are passionate about sharing your message and yet you’re still a bit afraid, try visualizing your speech before you ever walk out onto the stage. See each and every aspect of it unfold perfectly for you. Visualize yourself speaking clearly, connecting with your audience and truly being heard. See yourself teaching and touching others with your message. These folks WANT to listen to you, or they wouldn’t be there. The kindest thing you can do is share your message with them! Someone in that audience may need your words at that very moment to make a huge shift in his or her life. If you know how important it was to that person, would it make it easier for you to give?
A bit of butterflies when you walk on is to be expected. Turn that into excitement simply by reminding yourself WHY you’re there. Just like everything else in life, when the WHY is big enough, everything else falls into place.
Start small and build up if that feels better for you. Can you talk in front of one person? How about 2? What about 10? Where’s the breakpoint for you? How is 5 any different form 40,000? You’re still talking to one individual at a time- the rest is just a number. Just remember the WHY you are doing this. (I’m assuming it’s by choice!)
I’d also recommend you pay attention to your use of language. Remember, your words become things. Each time you say or write “I have developed a phobia of public speaking and the more I do it, the worse it gets!!! “, the more you support it. I’m not saying to ignore the fact that it exists, just don’t send any more energy there. Instead, tell yourself and others that you are a magnificent speaker- even if it’s only in front of your mirror! Again, start small and build up as you need to. Remember why you’re doing this- why you’re choosing to do this- and have fun with it.
As with anything in life, if it’s fun- do more of it. If it’s not fun, go do something else that brings you joy.
I hope this helps!
Big hugs and happy speaking,
Thank you for taking the time to write back to me. I already had the knowledge that you have just kindly given me but I had forgotten it for a moment…Thank you for reminding me that the knowledge and the tools I already have can be applied to all situations and if further tools are needed they will be attracted to me.