The moment we stopped working on ourselves to get “better”, our lives instantaneously transformed. This has profoundly impacted everything. What we have learned is not to take ourselves so seriously and to not work so hard to get somewhere.
We have been raised in a forward-thinking culture where we have learned that something in the future will produce the sense of well-being or “OKness” that we all strive to achieve.
It is this very striving, we’ve discovered, that produces dissatisfaction. The constant need to achieve what we think is better than what we have in the current moment stresses our being in an endless cycle of pain.
We have been taught that certain goals once achieved will produce happiness and satisfaction. This is not true. Happiness is not circumstantially determined and well-being is not a function of the circumstances of your life, either.
All happiness and satisfaction happens when you are being in the current moment of your life. This moment of now is all there is. Something in the future will not get here until it does, and when it does, it will occur in a moment of now.
The Moment is Perfect.
Life shows up exactly as it does in each moment. It rarely, if ever, shows up to meet our preferences. So if meeting your preferences determines your well-being, then chances are you will never feel well in yourself, even if you meet your goals.
Anything that you disagree with is what you are stuck with. Anything that you allow to be the way it is allows you the freedom to be yourself. This moment is perfect exactly as it is and in fact cannot be different than it is/was.
Being a “Yes” to Life.
Another possibility might be to actually choose to have what you have in your life in the current moment. In other words, be a “Yes” to how your life is showing up as opposed to resisting or wishing it was different – complaining to yourself that life is not fair.
Part of our cultural training is striving to achieve something “better”, while just allowing your life to be as it is is regarded as lazy. This training says the “right” way to be is to set goals for yourself based on cultural mores and beliefs and then achieve those goals. And most of the planet has adhered to this paradigm.
But it is not the paradigm for well-being and satisfaction. Being kind to yourself is.
Please don’t get us wrong. We are not advocating complacency or “settling” in your life. What we are talking about is this moment and Being Here for it, where you are experiencing your life directly rather than thinking about how to live your life “right”. This moment is the springboard into your greatness, creativity, well-being, self-expression, and ability to relate and relate well.
This Post Has 65 Comments
A brilliant and inspiring article, thank you for sharing.
I love what you have to offer, life is this amazing, adventures place ever since I read your first book.
Thanks Stefanie! We appreciate that reading Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work acted as a launch point to have your life be an amazing adventure. Thanks for the feedback!
Wow, what a lovely article. I like how you describe to slow down and discover the moment how it currently is. Being kind to myself and being a yes to my life are the door openers for a great life, thank you so much for the inspiration!
Thank you Hilli for you KIND words! Happy to hear you are inspired! Best wishes to you!
Thank you for offering this new possibility. Seeing that where I am in my life in this moment is exactly where I should be and the only place I can be is not only a relief from the pressures I tend to put on myself but also freeing. Love this post!
How great Valerie that you have identified that you are presurring YOURSELF! Seeing that without judging it is the key to have your life transform – in an instant!
I am continually amazed by how my life effortlessly expands when I let go of trying to change/fix/improve myself. Even just reading these words now slowed me down to this moment and got me back in sync with my life again. I am so grateful for your words and your approach, which makes my life such a fun, rich, rewarding, discovery-filled adventure. Thank you!
That’s great Leah! Lovely to hear that just reading these words return you to yourself. It is so easy to get driven to get ahead and then you miss the perfection of being: YOU.
Thank you for this lovely reminder not to take ourselves too seriously – I love it! Leaving the treadmill of forever setting goals and neither praising not judging myself for it is incredibly freeing.
Yes Maren, if you find yourself back on that treadmill of “I will be better when I reach my goals” again, you can have a good laugh (if you want) and then simply hop off!
Thank you for this wonderful article. It’s a whole new possibility to feel well in myself, seeing that my preferences do not determine my well-being – especially since my preferences are rarely met! I am feeling a freedom to be myself – however life shows up. I greatly appreciate the books you have written, Ariel & Shya, your podcast “Being Here”, and your seminars.
Thanks Colleen! Yes, we love our Podcast, Being Here – https://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-archive – also. It is such a great way to bring Being Here to life and a gentle reminder that there is no work needed. Hard to believe we already have more than 600 archived epidsodes on topics ranging from success to relationship, family to workplace, from intuition to fear of missing out. In case you don’t know, you can even search by topic!
Love this article! Being a “Yes” to Life is so powerful!
Much love from Germany
YES it is! Pun intended! 🙂 Thaks for your comment Katrin!
Life has become so easy and satisfying since I met you guys in 2012! Being in the moment, listening to other people, saying “yes” to my circumstances and stopping to work on myself – it really, really works! Thank you for these 500 precious words 🙂
Thanks for your kind words Sonja! So happy to have met you as well and happy to know that our approach works (and has worked) for all these years so that YOU don’t need to WORK on yourself!
What an inspiring article, thank you! It’s a great reminder that life often will not meet my preferences, but just engaging in every moment – and being kind to myself – can allow my world to expand into possibilities I could never imagine. This is such a gift!
Yes Candace – anytime your world is not expanding into new and unexpected possibilities, it is just a simple reminder that you are likely saying “no” to a circumstance or a person that isn’t meeting your preferences or that you have gotten caught up in a current of trying to get somewhere rather than enjoying life – right here and right now!
I love this post. I have participated in Ariel & Shya’s seminars and they have had a profound effect on my life. I love their simple approach to living in the moment. It has brought well being into my life. Thank you for this magic!
This article is brilliant and profound! Such a great reminder that THIS IS IT. The moment is perfect and so are we. Love it!
Yes! Great to remind yourself that this moment is perfect… and so are you! Thanks for reading and commenting Heike!
Wonderful to read this!
Being a “Yes” to how life shows up is a magic key to a fun and satisfying live. I am so grateful I discovered this key through Ariel and Shyas seminars and again by reading this article. Thanks for posting this!
Thanks Meike! So happy you are having a magic, fun and satisfying life! Hope to “see” you on the next International Video Seminar on Tuesday July 23rd! Cheers!
This article came just at the right time, to remind me that working on yourself doesn´t work. I am so used to work on me, that I often forget, that I am perfekt, the way I am . Reading these 500 words brought me spontaneously back to feeling well.
Yes Elfi – it is so easy to get bumped by life and then before you know it life feels dull. So happy you are spontaneously feeling well – a perfect example of Instantaneous Transformation! Thanks for sharing it!
Reading this article was perfect today! It reminded me that instead of seeing all the work ahead of me, if I just do what I am doing and say yes to how fast or slow the process is, I can come right back to center.
Thank you for this awesome article!
Hint, Hint: If you treat “All the work ahead” of you as if it is FUN then you may find things even easier still. We have been trained by hearing “I have to go to work,” not I GET to go to work… like “I GET to go on vacation!” Hmmm, not to inspire you to now “work” on your internal dialogue but just saying that we are writing to you right now and we can treat it as “work” or something that we really WANT to do… which it is! Having fun is a moment-by-moment choice!
Being a YES to whatever is going on in “my world” shifted the experience of my life tremendously. It effects all areas of my life, in private and in business. And I just feel well in myself.
I love the notion of saying yes to my life. What a simple and powerful idea. Very practical and profound!
So happy to hear that Arne – so many people don’t naturally feel well in themselves. You have a lot to offer the world and the folks around you! Don’t underestimate how powerful and your voice is! Thanks for leaving a comment here.
Thank you for the inspiration! When I am a “YES” to whatever is happening in my life I feel fully engaged and enlivened. I am in awe of the simplest occurrences in life which leads to joy, satisfaction and being in love with life. What fun to know that life supports me in being in love with it. I am grateful for your books and Seminars! I continue to be delighted and amazed by life.
Yes! Life is naturally Awe-Inspiring when you are Being Here! Thanks for the comment Susan. Our gratitude in return!
This article is beautiful! The authors, Ariel and Shya Kane, never cease to surprise and inspire me with their words and work by simply being themselves and making their experiences of enlightenment relatable and attainable (and maintainable!). Their books and seminars, like this article, are powerful and practical for today’s day and age.
Thanks Tracy! We appreciate your comment that our approach is practical, relatable, attainable and maintainable! Well stated.
What an inspiring article! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world. Through Ariel & Shyas approach of being in the moment, instead of working on myself, I found the magic and easiness in my life again????
Perfect! That’s why our website is TransformationMadeEasy.com … you deserve to have magic and ease in your life! Sweet!
This is a lovely and practical article! Such a great reminder that striving to achieve my goals doesn’t bring me satisfaction but being here, which at this moment includes typing this and feeling my fingers on the keyboard, and that does produce well being. So simple and yet profound!
Thanks for sharing that Andy… with the satisfaction that comes from being where you are, including feeling your fingers on the keyboard, realizing your goals is likely to become a natural expression of yourself rather than something to strive for!
Brilliant article! Reading this article supported me in relaxing into the current moment. It’s amazing how a shift in perspective can transform my day!
Love how you put that Joe: a shift in perspective! It’s as simple as that. That’s a hallmark of Instantaneous Transformation!
Wow! What an amazing article. Short and so profound! Taking me seriously and to work hard is so familiar to me. But being kind to myself isn’t Pretty funny! Thank you so much, for writing it so clearly. I love it!
Thank you so much Ariel & Shya – yes, the moment us perfect. Through you I discover those perfect moments everywhere 🙂
If you are kind to yourself about not being kind to yourself Corinne, 🙂 being kind can become as natural as breathing. Thanks for commenting!
Thank you for sharing this article. I love that happiness is not circumstantially determined. I used to think that if things didn’t work out or meet my preferences it was not meant to be. My life was very small. Now I am amazed at how full and rich my life is.
I also appreciate you sharing that thinking something in the future can keep you stuck in a loop and I can miss what is right in front of me. Thank you!
You are very welcome Wendy!
Thank you so much for your inspiring article – with the approach of transformation my life wouldn’t be so easy, fun, creative, vibrant as it is now! Love it! 🙂
We are assuming you mean WITHOUT the approach of Transformation my life would be so easy…
Happy to hear you love it!
What an incredible way of life suddenly opens up if you follow Ariel’s and Shya’s story! I love transformation, what it does for my life, relationships, business und opportunities ????! Thank you for sharing this incredible tool with the world, dear Ariel and Shya !
You are very, very welcome Ursula!
Using only 500 words to describe how your life can be fun, full of love, self expression and wealth – that is inspiring!
Transformation made easy!
Yes – if it’s not easy, it’s not Transformation!
I am amazed by how simple yet profound this article is. A refreshing perspective on life and what it has to offer! I am inspired and thankful to the wisdom you share with the world here. Thank you for your generosity in sharing the wealth the possibilities of having well being in life through your website and podcast!
You are very welcome Karen! Now YOU can share the wealth… pass it on!
Love this! A nice reminder that I can choose to have my life exactly as it is showing up in this moment. There’s so much right here and now to enjoy ????
So true Shea… there is so much to enjoy when you are Being Here!
Such an inspiring article! ☀️
Thank you for sharing a wonderful possibility with the world!
If you loved this article, check out Ariel& Shya Kane’s amazing website with seminars & podcasts… which are so great for finding magic in every day! (Transformationmadeeasy.com)
Inspired by this article to live my life directly moment to moment … simple, enlightening, and empowering!
Thanks Jodi! Happy to hear you have been enjoying our podcasts, seminars and other resources, too!
Thank you! I realized after I read this article I eased up on myself. It was as if the pressure just released…effortlessly. I slowed down and got more things done. Might seem counterintuitive, but true. There is something special about your point of view and your ability and generosity to deliver that view so that I experience it. Again, many thanks.
Yes Lenore, great way to describe Instantaneous Transformation: Effortless! It is funny how when you slow down you often get much more done. 🙂
Thank you for this! What a great article. I especially like the reminder to be kind to myself.
So True Amy – Kindness is Queen!
Thank you for these clear and easy understandable word’s – can’t wait sharing it with friends!