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Working On Yourself Doesn’t Work – Being Here Does.

The moment we stopped working on ourselves to get “better”, our lives instantaneously transformed. This has profoundly impacted everything. What we have learned is not to take ourselves so seriously and to not work so hard to get somewhere.

We have been raised in a forward-thinking culture where we have learned that something in the future will produce the sense of well-being or “OKness” that we all strive to achieve.

It is this very striving, we’ve discovered, that produces dissatisfaction. The constant need to achieve what we think is better than what we have in the current moment stresses our being in an endless cycle of pain.

We have been taught that certain goals once achieved will produce happiness and satisfaction. This is not true. Happiness is not circumstantially determined and well-being is not a function of the circumstances of your life, either.

All happiness and satisfaction happens when you are being in the current moment of your life. This moment of now is all there is. Something in the future will not get here until it does, and when it does, it will occur in a moment of now.

The Moment is Perfect.

Life shows up exactly as it does in each moment. It rarely, if ever, shows up to meet our preferences. So if meeting your preferences determines your well-being, then chances are you will never feel well in yourself, even if you meet your goals.

Anything that you disagree with is what you are stuck with. Anything that you allow to be the way it is allows you the freedom to be yourself. This moment is perfect exactly as it is and in fact cannot be different than it is/was.

Being a “Yes” to Life.

Another possibility might be to actually choose to have what you have in your life in the current moment. In other words, be a “Yes” to how your life is showing up as opposed to resisting or wishing it was different – complaining to yourself that life is not fair.

Part of our cultural training is striving to achieve something “better”, while just allowing your life to be as it is is regarded as lazy. This training says the “right” way to be is to set goals for yourself based on cultural mores and beliefs and then achieve those goals. And most of the planet has adhered to this paradigm.

But it is not the paradigm for well-being and satisfaction. Being kind to yourself is.

Please don’t get us wrong. We are not advocating complacency or “settling” in your life. What we are talking about is this moment and Being Here for it, where you are experiencing your life directly rather than thinking about how to live your life “right”. This moment is the springboard into your greatness, creativity, well-being, self-expression, and ability to relate and relate well.

Ariel and Shya Kane

Since 1987, Ariel and Shya Kane have touched the lives of millions through their transformational seminars and top-rated internet radio show/podcast Being Here. Their practical approach to everyday well-being allows people to be productive, effective and satisfied in all areas of their lives.

From their ground-breaking books Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work, Practical Enlightenment, How to Have A Match Made in Heaven – A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage, winner of the Mom’s Choice Book Award (and available in Spanish and German), How to Create a Magical Relationship, gold medal winner of the Nautilus Book Award, and Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment, to their speaking engagements at the United Nations Society for Enlightenment and Transformation and Alternatives – the UK’s premier venue for some of the biggest names in the mind, body, spirit world – Ariel & Shya continue to reach audiences hungry for the possibility of a life filled with ease, well-being and satisfaction.

Their acclaimed seminars in New York City, Germany and Costa Rica open up previously unseen possibilities in people’s lives, allowing them to live the life of their dreams. You can learn more about their seminars, their latest book Being Here...Too, Short Stories of Modern Day Enlightenment, available now on Amazon.com, and sign up for their Excellence Club email newsletter at TransformationMadeEasy.com.

For more information, please visit TransformationMadeEasy.com
This Post Has 65 Comments
  1. A brilliant and inspiring article, thank you for sharing.
    I love what you have to offer, life is this amazing, adventures place ever since I read your first book.

  2. Wow, what a lovely article. I like how you describe to slow down and discover the moment how it currently is. Being kind to myself and being a yes to my life are the door openers for a great life, thank you so much for the inspiration!

  3. Thank you for offering this new possibility. Seeing that where I am in my life in this moment is exactly where I should be and the only place I can be is not only a relief from the pressures I tend to put on myself but also freeing. Love this post!

  4. I am continually amazed by how my life effortlessly expands when I let go of trying to change/fix/improve myself. Even just reading these words now slowed me down to this moment and got me back in sync with my life again. I am so grateful for your words and your approach, which makes my life such a fun, rich, rewarding, discovery-filled adventure. Thank you!

  5. Thank you for this lovely reminder not to take ourselves too seriously – I love it! Leaving the treadmill of forever setting goals and neither praising not judging myself for it is incredibly freeing.

  6. Thank you for this wonderful article. It’s a whole new possibility to feel well in myself, seeing that my preferences do not determine my well-being – especially since my preferences are rarely met! I am feeling a freedom to be myself – however life shows up. I greatly appreciate the books you have written, Ariel & Shya, your podcast “Being Here”, and your seminars.

    1. Thanks Colleen! Yes, we love our Podcast, Being Here – https://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-archive – also. It is such a great way to bring Being Here to life and a gentle reminder that there is no work needed. Hard to believe we already have more than 600 archived epidsodes on topics ranging from success to relationship, family to workplace, from intuition to fear of missing out. In case you don’t know, you can even search by topic!

  7. Life has become so easy and satisfying since I met you guys in 2012! Being in the moment, listening to other people, saying “yes” to my circumstances and stopping to work on myself – it really, really works! Thank you for these 500 precious words 🙂

    1. Thanks for your kind words Sonja! So happy to have met you as well and happy to know that our approach works (and has worked) for all these years so that YOU don’t need to WORK on yourself!

  8. What an inspiring article, thank you! It’s a great reminder that life often will not meet my preferences, but just engaging in every moment – and being kind to myself – can allow my world to expand into possibilities I could never imagine. This is such a gift!

    1. Yes Candace – anytime your world is not expanding into new and unexpected possibilities, it is just a simple reminder that you are likely saying “no” to a circumstance or a person that isn’t meeting your preferences or that you have gotten caught up in a current of trying to get somewhere rather than enjoying life – right here and right now!

  9. I love this post. I have participated in Ariel & Shya’s seminars and they have had a profound effect on my life. I love their simple approach to living in the moment. It has brought well being into my life. Thank you for this magic!

  10. This article is brilliant and profound! Such a great reminder that THIS IS IT. The moment is perfect and so are we. Love it!

  11. Wonderful to read this!
    Being a “Yes” to how life shows up is a magic key to a fun and satisfying live. I am so grateful I discovered this key through Ariel and Shyas seminars and again by reading this article. Thanks for posting this!

  12. This article came just at the right time, to remind me that working on yourself doesn´t work. I am so used to work on me, that I often forget, that I am perfekt, the way I am . Reading these 500 words brought me spontaneously back to feeling well.

    1. Yes Elfi – it is so easy to get bumped by life and then before you know it life feels dull. So happy you are spontaneously feeling well – a perfect example of Instantaneous Transformation! Thanks for sharing it!

  13. Reading this article was perfect today! It reminded me that instead of seeing all the work ahead of me, if I just do what I am doing and say yes to how fast or slow the process is, I can come right back to center.
    Thank you for this awesome article!

    1. Hint, Hint: If you treat “All the work ahead” of you as if it is FUN then you may find things even easier still. We have been trained by hearing “I have to go to work,” not I GET to go to work… like “I GET to go on vacation!” Hmmm, not to inspire you to now “work” on your internal dialogue but just saying that we are writing to you right now and we can treat it as “work” or something that we really WANT to do… which it is! Having fun is a moment-by-moment choice!

  14. Being a YES to whatever is going on in “my world” shifted the experience of my life tremendously. It effects all areas of my life, in private and in business. And I just feel well in myself.

  15. So happy to hear that Arne – so many people don’t naturally feel well in themselves. You have a lot to offer the world and the folks around you! Don’t underestimate how powerful and your voice is! Thanks for leaving a comment here.

  16. Thank you for the inspiration! When I am a “YES” to whatever is happening in my life I feel fully engaged and enlivened. I am in awe of the simplest occurrences in life which leads to joy, satisfaction and being in love with life. What fun to know that life supports me in being in love with it. I am grateful for your books and Seminars! I continue to be delighted and amazed by life.
    In Gratitude,
    Susan

  17. This article is beautiful! The authors, Ariel and Shya Kane, never cease to surprise and inspire me with their words and work by simply being themselves and making their experiences of enlightenment relatable and attainable (and maintainable!). Their books and seminars, like this article, are powerful and practical for today’s day and age.

  18. What an inspiring article! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world. Through Ariel & Shyas approach of being in the moment, instead of working on myself, I found the magic and easiness in my life again????

  19. This is a lovely and practical article! Such a great reminder that striving to achieve my goals doesn’t bring me satisfaction but being here, which at this moment includes typing this and feeling my fingers on the keyboard, and that does produce well being. So simple and yet profound!

    1. Thanks for sharing that Andy… with the satisfaction that comes from being where you are, including feeling your fingers on the keyboard, realizing your goals is likely to become a natural expression of yourself rather than something to strive for!

  20. Brilliant article! Reading this article supported me in relaxing into the current moment. It’s amazing how a shift in perspective can transform my day!

  21. Wow! What an amazing article. Short and so profound! Taking me seriously and to work hard is so familiar to me. But being kind to myself isn’t  Pretty funny! Thank you so much, for writing it so clearly. I love it!

  22. Thank you so much Ariel & Shya – yes, the moment us perfect. Through you I discover those perfect moments everywhere 🙂

  23. Thank you for sharing this article. I love that happiness is not circumstantially determined. I used to think that if things didn’t work out or meet my preferences it was not meant to be. My life was very small. Now I am amazed at how full and rich my life is.

    I also appreciate you sharing that thinking something in the future can keep you stuck in a loop and I can miss what is right in front of me. Thank you!

  24. Thank you so much for your inspiring article – with the approach of transformation my life wouldn’t be so easy, fun, creative, vibrant as it is now! Love it! 🙂

  25. What an incredible way of life suddenly opens up if you follow Ariel’s and Shya’s story! I love transformation, what it does for my life, relationships, business und opportunities ????! Thank you for sharing this incredible tool with the world, dear Ariel and Shya !

  26. Using only 500 words to describe how your life can be fun, full of love, self expression and wealth – that is inspiring!
    Transformation made easy!

  27. Simply brilliant!
    I am amazed by how simple yet profound this article is. A refreshing perspective on life and what it has to offer! I am inspired and thankful to the wisdom you share with the world here. Thank you for your generosity in sharing the wealth the possibilities of having well being in life through your website and podcast!

  28. Love this! A nice reminder that I can choose to have my life exactly as it is showing up in this moment. There’s so much right here and now to enjoy ????

  29. Such an inspiring article! ☀️
    Thank you for sharing a wonderful possibility with the world!

    If you loved this article, check out Ariel& Shya Kane’s amazing website with seminars & podcasts… which are so great for finding magic in every day! (Transformationmadeeasy.com)

  30. Thank you! I realized after I read this article I eased up on myself. It was as if the pressure just released…effortlessly. I slowed down and got more things done. Might seem counterintuitive, but true. There is something special about your point of view and your ability and generosity to deliver that view so that I experience it. Again, many thanks.

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