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You are infinitely free, unendingly magnificent, undeterred by fear, overflowing as love itself. Isn’t it amazing? This way of being is available to you right now in this very moment.

You can be free of the problems that define you. You can live in peace, ease, and contentment with things as they are. But it won’t happen unless you are ready to be conscious in your life.

Consider these life lessons, and put them into practice. Then you can’t help but live the fullest expression of your natural, shining, inherently lovely self.

Orient your whole life toward what you love. Your life is a statement of your interests and how you spend your time. Do you feed confusion and frustration? Do you let unsatisfying habits run unchecked?

There isn’t any magic to being happy and fulfilled. It’s simple—consciously orient your whole life toward what you love.

Find the fire in you for what you really want, and follow it. It matters what thoughts engage your attention, how you choose to act, what you read and watch, who you associate with.

Get clear about what you most desire. Let it completely infuse your body and mind and guide your actions. You may be surprised to discover how simple it is to be happy and peaceful.

Be willing to question everything to see what is actually true. Beliefs, expectations, and judgments mask your magnificence. They paint the world as scary and make you think you are a fraction of your true potential.

Take every treasured belief, every sad and fearful story that you recycle in your mind, and question it. Are you sure that it’s true? Does it define who you really are? Or is it a constructed thought form that has nothing to do with your true beauty?

Don’t define yourself as limited, insufficient, or incapable, because it’s not true. Challenge your view that the world is a dissatisfying, troublesome place. See things as they actually are, not through the veil of your distorted thoughts. Then watch your angst melt away.

Don’t be a victim. You are not a victim of your circumstances, your past, or what other people say or do—but you can choose to be. Things happen, but how you hold them is up to you.

Don’t define yourself by your past or by the feedback you get from others, and don’t wait for the happiness you long for. Shed the identities that don’t support you, and live your natural brilliance, right now.

Live in the Yes! There is an undercurrent of unity, harmony, and love that underlies all things. It is real, practical, and completely available to you when you are present with what is. And when you resist, you suffer.

If you are attached to hopes, desires, and expectations, you are saying “no” to life. Deeply accept things as they are as if you had chosen them. Conflict and confusion ends, and here you are— alive, awake, and fully available to this precious life.

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Gail Brenner, Ph.D. is a psychologist and author who joyfully shares insights about discovering that suffering is optional. She is the author of The End of Self-Help: Discovering Peace and Happiness Right at the Heart of Your Messy, Scary, Brilliant Life now available on Amazon.

Her work as a therapist emanates from aware presence overflowing with possibility. Problems are seen as opportunities; the illusion of the separate self as a doorway to enduring happiness. Stories are honored, while fierce and loving investigation invites their dissolution. Gail has special expertise working with older adults and their families, bringing clear seeing and compassion to the transitions of aging, death, and dying. Her work offers a bridge between everyday human challenges and the deepest spiritual understanding that can set you free.

As a member of the clinical faculty at the University of California, San Francisco, she helped physicians develop communication skills. She consults with staff of assisted living and skilled nursing facilities about aging, dementia, and caregiving and has given numerous presentations to the community at large on these topics.

Find Gail at, where she offers articles, conversation, and free guided audio meditations,. Sign up for her mailing list to receive key insights from her book, The End of Self Help.



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  • The End of Self-Help: Discovering Peace and Happiness Right at the Heart of Your Messy, Scary, Brilliant Life

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