Through my 43 years, I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin by understanding that I must have GOD first in everything I do and say.
When I was 34 years, I had a moment of self-discovery. I realized my life was flashing by, and I did not feel complete as a woman. There were many things personally I wanted to accomplish before I settled into a relationship/marriage and have children. But I questioned those ideas – will I ever get married or is marriage in my future? Do I want to get married, and have children? Yes, but it was not a priority.
I wanted to sustain my career development, work on my profession as a top-tier publicist, and complete college. In the midst, I had put on hold many things that were not allied with my goals. In life, we have to be able to not be afraid of placing and putting ourselves first. It’s not being selfish; it’s being self-full.
In my life, there were many people I just did not understand why I was dealing with them. I was not sure if they were meant to be in my life for a season or a particular reason. I endured so many triumphs, challenges and barriers that were blocking me from my goals – so that after a while, I felt unhappy, depressed and unfilled. Upon self-evaluation, I started to make decisions that were best for me, without seeking validation and approval from others.
I knew all that I set out to do in my life was for a good purpose and to make me a better person as a daughter, family member, friend and entrepreneur. Many did not understand my quest for personal affirmation, but when you set out to achieve your goals to be internally happy and fulfilled, it is not your responsibility to make others understand. They are not part of your journey.
To be self-full is a personal journey between you and God; only you have the full comprehension of your direction in life. My lifestyle consists of facing some hard facts that many things I want, may not be want I need. I had to come to the realization that my needs must be met before I can want anything. In life, when you place the things you want before your needs, your needs never get met.
It took me years to understand my needs. I always had God in my life, but I will admit I wavered due to lack of faith. I had to understand my faith can never waver, and God will always answer at the right time. As I continue to push forward, for the last several years, I have been pleased with myself in the decisions I made and with my personal transition of self-love. Lastly, I make all my decision with prayer, mediate and seek only God’s validation and approval.
My wisdom of advice to any woman going over life’s hurdles is to make decisions in divine order: God first; you second; all else follows.
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[…] Through my 43 years, I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin by understanding that I must have GOD first in everything I do and say. When I was 34 […]
That is a gooder of an inspiration. Recently I sort of left God out of the way. The past week my life changed. I found something inside me, after I got my back fixed. Its time I got back to God’s will, to get help with thid clot inside me. Im getting older, and have those solid positive people in my life, that care, and love me. But not God. I need to have God first, and then life is so much easier.
Thankyou Parisnicole, for the reminder. I needed this message to relies what’s important in my life. God.
Patrick, I appreciate you reading my story. Yes, we have to understand in life, we can’t do it alone. We must lend on GOD first to seek understanding, but not of our own understanding. GOD is always there, but we must never waver from him. We must not only glorify and praise him only when things are good, but also during the storm of when things are bad. As T.D. Jakes states in a sermon in 2013, “What you are going through will not be wasted.” Each trial, and triumph of life experiences and mistakes are learning lesson to prepare us for the rewards that we so desire. Every day, I am seeking and begging for God to help me understand and help me to be patient for my glory. Keep God first, walk his walk and everything else will blossom. Good Luck & God Bless You!
Thank you Paris Nicole, Excellent Epiphany. Like T D Jakes as well. Many words of wisdom. Great Message for the times and trials we are living. Line up with God first. Be all the way in the presence. With this inner security Keep moving No need to seek approval of others . Trust things to work out for the best. East to say, takes practice. Thanks for showing up.
Sarah, I appreciate your kind words. Yes, we all have a journey and testimony of life. In order to beat the odds against every day surival mode, we must allied ourselves with GOD in divine order. Each day, I am in progression to ensure GOD understands I am listening, I am waiting, I am willing to do the work and I am ready for his blessings. God Bless You!
just copied your article on Self Full to a running doc. Want to read again and again, Best….
I too have people in my life that I am not sure why I am dealing with them. How do you solve this? Your post encourages me to look deeper with prayer and meditation in determining whether to continue time and effort with those I don’t feel are a positive part of my life?
Good Day, Bonnie:
When you come to a point in your life when you are tired of doing and dealing with the same people and not receiving different results, that is when you make a change. The first step in making change is seeking GOD first. You have to become in divine order with putting GOD first before yourself, everyone and everything else. GOD must be first and end of everything that you are becoming and doing in life. Once you place yourself in GOD divine order, your lifestyle will change. You will start to make better choices, decisions and GOD will bless you with a new journey that will lead you to others in GOD divine order. However, the first step comes within your spiritiual being of wanting to change. I will keep you in prayer.