Inspiration Archives

By Sandra Beck. I have been reading the comments on my posts and the email I get from men and women all over the world-- I love it. One of the things that comes up again and again is how awful we feel when we encounter our ex-husband’s mistress – even years later because the wounds of infidelity and broken trust run deep. This is especially challenging when she was your friend. I know this happened to me and it happens to men. I know they tell me feel just as bad as we do when we are betrayed, but…

By Sandra Beck. Since my husband left me for a local woman shortly after we moved here, I will be the first to admit I didn’t exactly rush out to make new friends in my neighborhood. It was more like combat when I picked up my kids from school. Stay mission focused. Don’t make eye contact. Extract the kids and get out of there with a helpful tailwind. Foolishly I thought my ex had hooked up with the only mean girl in town. She did mean things to me through my kids. She redressed my kid on the first day…

We all have a dark side that we don't want others to know. This can also include the people, places, and situations that we were around as children growing up. It can also involve things we weren't aware of-- that at the time may not have been that big of a deal---which ultimately surfaced and became a major challenge, even a life threatening situation. Growing up I was blessed to have wonderful parents and a step father who taught me some powerful life skills that completely transformed my life in a positive way. There were also many wonderful friends and…

After writing many posts and articles about forgiveness, I started to get sick of my own pontificating and advice. When I get sick of myself, I head to the nearest fast food chain, get myself a large diet coke and sit down to write.   Sometimes I get French fries. Sometimes I don’t. Well this is a stupid topic, I can hear you say, but it’s not. It’s vitally important to your recovery from whatever it is you are struggling with. Some people go to the gym. Some people go to church. I like to go to brightly lit, clean and…

There are two types learning: objective and subjective. Objective, 1+1 = 2 learning is the transference of knowledge from teacher to student. You either know the answer or you don't. It is expansive; the more you learn, the better you are. It is comparative; it is clear when you know more than others. This wonderful world of science, business and results produces a stable world that fulfills our survival needs to the fullest. It is a mindset of doing and achieving. It is the way of the ego. It is maintained in contrast to something else. It is necessary for a certain…

If I had a dollar for everyone who told me I needed to take care of myself during the divorce and my recovery, well, I would have no debt from my divorce and recovery… In reality it took me 5 years to pay off my legal, foreclosure, and therapy bills. What’s money, right? What’s money?! It’s what I need to live!!! I need it to pay my electric bill. I need it to buy lunches and braces and dog food. People who say “What’s money?” are stupid. While I was adjusting to my broke single parent lifestyle, I would see…

Head Trash. Baggage. Beat up. Rode Hard. Put away wet. No matter what you call it, there seems to be a lot of stuff going on in my head post divorce. Some of the thoughts rolling around in the ol' noggin have to do with the unbelievable array of choices out there today for this 40-something single mom of two active little boys. I have total baggage. I have a head full of trash, which my wingman pointed out this week. I personally like to call it matching luggage. Just like I am not divorced... I'm recycled. Yeah well, even…