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Welcoming means accepting yourself exactly as you are and also accepting life exactly as it unfolds. It is the ability to allow all of it, including all the parts of yourself and your life that you don’t like, and letting it all flow without getting hooked into the stories created by your mind. Welcoming is not trying to make your life any different than it is.  Easier said than done, right?

Screen Shot 2015-08-12 At 11.38.56 PmI know it’s not always easy to welcome and accept life, especially your challenges, because you have been conditioned to continuously judge yourself and others. This is the inner voice you took on when you were young. The judger inside of you is such a harsh critic and can be so cruel, and yet it is just a scared part of you. It is a protective mechanism that was formed when you were a child and it is taking care of a child’s view of the world. Your judger may tell you that you have to be perfect and it is not okay to make mistakes. But the judger never sees the whole truth.

Learning to welcome the judger is like learning a new language. If you go to a live in a new country and you try to speak the language, you struggle to find words. But, in time, you eventually start thinking in the new language. One way to get to know your judger is to write down what it is saying – things like “I am too fat” or “I have nothing to offer” or “Everyone else does it better than it do”. As you begin to see the judger for what it really is, it will begin to lose its power over you and you can recognize it right away. And eventually, you will be able to say to it, “Thank you for sharing!” In that moment, you are relating to the judger instead of from it.

The next time your judger tells you that you are bad or wrong or that you made a mistake, I invite you to welcome your judger. Thank your judger for trying to take care of you and tell it everything is okay and you are okay exactly as you are. Then notice how this makes you feel.

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Mary O’Malley is an author and counselor in Kirkland, Washington. In the early 1970’s, a powerful awakening set Mary on the path to changing her whole relationship with the challenges of life, freeing herself from a lifelong struggle with darkness. Since that time, Mary has taught extensively throughout the United States, Canada and Denmark.

She is an inspirational speaker who leads retreats that transform people’s lives, provides individual counseling, and offers ongoing groups where people can come together to experience the miracle of Awakening. Her strengths lie in her ability to be fully present in the moment, integrating information, technique and insight with simplicity and compassion. Mary is committed to helping people heal their inner wars, so they can become a part of the healing of our planet. She does so by drawing on her own life experience to facilitate healing and awakening in a compassionate and powerful way.

Mary’s books, which are endorsed by Eckhart Tolle and Neale Donald Walsch, include: What’s In the Way IS the Way: Moving Beyond Your Struggle into the Joy of Being Fully AliveThe Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and HealingBelonging to Life: The Journey of Awakening; and The Magical Forest of Aliveness: A Tale of Awakening.

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