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1. If this were your last day, what would you want to be experiencing?

How often do we spend our days recounting our hurts, how we were wronged, what we don’t have, what is stressing us, and how we were disappointed? Choose instead in every moment to experience joy, love, happiness, laughter, connection, and creativity.

2. Pain comes from expecting a dog to be a cat. A dog is going to be a dog.

Accept people for who and how they are, not who and how you want them to be. In doing so, both of you will find release, joy, and acceptance.

3. Life is about choosing, experiencing, learning, and choosing again.

Stop taking life so seriously. Life is about experiences – good, bad, and indifferent. Focus on the experience, not the outcome. What did you learn? What did you feel? How did you make the world better? Even our “wrong” actions are a gift. Can you find yours? Do you have the strength to let go of the shame, guilt, and apparent failures of learning and choose something new?

4. Nothing in this world is permanent. Accept Change.

When we hold fast to old ideas, beliefs, habits, relationships, jobs, locations, or anything else, we become stuck. Like nature, our lives and experiences are ever cycling, morphing, and shifting. Go with the flow.

5. Nothing can change without first having awareness.

When you catch yourself complaining about what you did poorly or a negative thing that just happened, celebrate! Now you are aware and with awareness, you can make adjustments to make your life better.

6. When we aspire, we often forget to be aware of and grateful for all we already have.

Remember to acknowledge and be grateful for what you have while you are on the road to what is next. Live in the present, not in the unknown future. Don’t put your life on hold while you are waiting for what is next.

7. Like clothes, your life fits better if it is designed specifically for you.

Stop trying to fit yourself into someone else’s life or expectations for you. Instead, tailor-make your life for you and your unique gifts, desires, and purpose.

8. Stop wearing different hats, you only have one head.

When we try to take on different roles, balance work and life, juggle many different responsibilities, we separate ourselves and become stressed. Relax into you at all times and in all situations.

9. Imperfection is the new perfect.

It is the odd birthmark that makes a model unique and beautiful. Stop focusing on your uniqueness as bad and embrace it as your true beauty.

10. Get off your yoga mat and make a change in the world.

There is a time for reflection and introspection. And there is a time to act. Once you have acquired your healing and wisdom, don’t keep it to yourself – use it to make a difference in the world.

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Melissa Heisler is a Stress Reduction Expert. After 10 years managing and directing theatrical productions followed by a Masters in Integrated Marketing Communication and 17 years in corporate marketing, the stress of high pressure, deadline driven jobs led to her own ill health mentally and physically. This started her search for a long-lasting means of approaching each situation with more ease, contentment, and power. Melissa is committed to guiding professionals to improve their health, increase their mental clarity, easily deal with difficult people, and find peace in their current jobs all through reducing their stress levels.

Melissa is the host of The Empowerment Show and also a contributing author for the books, Be There Now: Travel Stories From Around the World and Defining Moments: A Gathering of Women’s Journeys. Her first solo book, From Type-A to Type-ME: A Framework for Stress Reduction is being published in 2014. She has also contributed to Experiences of the Light, to be published by Career Press / New Page Books in 2014.

For more information, please visit

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. So if a person is being abusive and mean you’re suppose to accept that?? Or what if they are just negative and critical of you and lack the ability to be intimate and affectionate. It’s one thing to be positive and coach people in that direction but be realistic about it. Not everyone walks around with a “heavenly halo” and “sunshine” streaming out of their pores!

    1. Acceptance does not mean compliance. Acceptance does not mean we become a doormat or a victim. No, not everyone is positive, compassionate, and kind to those around them. The pain that comes is when we want or expect them to act differently than they are. We must first accept that this is an unpleasant person then we have the power to make a choice. We can choose to stay around and be abused, or we can decide to remove ourselves from the situation. Acceptance is about releasing ourselves and our expectations so we can make choices with a more clear point of view.

  2. Basically, a person or situation, ‘is the way it is’. If the energy is negative…then, I don’t belong there!

    1. Absolutely! You got it Sheila! It is knowing what feels right for you and then choosing to be around the good and excusing yourself from the negative.

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