Can Meditation Make Me Happier?
"I find the world to be filled with sadness, and sometimes, I honestly don't want to be here. I've tried anti-depressants but I don't like the side effects. I'd like to take control of my life and change my attitude, but I don't know where to start. Any suggestions?" ~ John, Boulder, CO Dear John, First, you’re right to have stopped taking the anti-depressants. They do cause unwelcome side effects and they do nothing to get to the root of depression. My answer to this question might surprise you somewhat, but firstly I’d advise looking at ways you can give…
To Have More Happiness, Eat Peas and Grapes! Part 2
Welcome back. I trust that you have explored holding the energy of Ease and that you’re finding it serves your feelings of happiness to do so. Let’s continue with how being in Ease helps you experience Peace. Ease is the surface layer of this deeper inner state. Peace is your State of Being beyond resistance. A place we all strive to get, and yet, there’s only one place to go to arrive there. Peace is within the Essence of you, the inner state of allowing and trust, the space of unequivocal knowing that everything is exquisitely right, that all is…
To Have More Happiness, Eat Peas and Grapes!
I’m sure this sounds like bizarre advice, and you’re itching to know what happiness has to do with peas and grapes. It came from one of my favorite mantras… A friend overheard me quietly saying it one day, and she thought I said “Eat peas and grapes.” It never occurred to me that what I was saying might sound like that. I laughed as I thought it about it for a moment. I do love eating that’s for sure. In fact, it’s probably one of my all-time favorite things to do. It’s not the chewing and swallowing part of eating,…
The Art of Love Series
Bouncing with Style: Better Boundaries
Yesterday I read a book about boundaries. Why? I had to for one of my upcoming shows. Much to my delight, I started understanding what that bandied-about term meant in relation to me, my family and friends, and my kids. Even my dogs will benefit from my reading the material. We hear a lot in the media about boundaries. Gotta set boundaries. That’s a boundary violation. I have firm boundaries. I have no boundaries. But what does that really mean? I started thinking about how boundaries are being erased as we groove into a society where personal choice often trumps the rights…
Calling in Your Beloved: The Truth About Soul Mates
As we approach that magical day, 2/14/2014, our thoughts turn to love—or more precisely, romantic love. It’s a concept that’s been around since medieval times, but it’s reinvented itself over the centuries. Today, when we talk about romantic love, what we usually mean is: Your soul mate Your true love Your destiny Your one and only Love at first sight These are terms for what is energetically referred to as a primary soul mate who’s also a romantic partner. Once we set aside all the chocolate-and-champagne that is the hallmark of modern romance, we understand at a deeper level that…
7 Loving Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Your Spouse
"I want to improve the relationship with my wife, but I don't know where to start. We're best friends, but I want the spark back that we had 20 years ago. Do all relationships get to this point and is it unrealistic to think that passion can last forever?" It’s time to create romance by adding more “love languages” to your relationship! There are seven ways you show love to your mate. Get playful and start using them in unexpected ways. You’ll have a ball and she’ll be swept of her feet! 1. Words of Affirmation. Tell her what you…
How Can I Forgive Betrayal?
"Hi, how can I forgive an infidelity and betrayal by my partner of 30 years, who has since left me? It has been a year since she left and I still have strong emotions; shock, sorrow, anger, grief, confusion that will not go away. I think about her every day and at night. My partner is 72 years old, survived cancer 2x while we've been together and has been professing her love to me all these years; telling me she looked forward to our future together. (I am 10 years younger.) I need to forgive, for myself more than for…
New Year’s Eve, Drop All That No Longer Serves Behind You
Before midnight on New Year's Eve, take some time to reflect upon on your past. This past year and as far as you can remember. Refrain from going into story about the past or reliving old memories, just reflect. And everything that you don’t want to drag into 2014 with you, drop it. Drop it like the ball that falls in Times Square each year. Drop it like a hot potato and let it go once and for all. Leave the past in the past so that you can move into 2014 with clear unencumbered focus. Between Christmas and New Year's Eve…
‘Lost’ Loved Ones
During the holidays, many of us become acutely aware of “lost” loved ones — family members, friends and colleagues who are no longer with us in physical form. So, instead of experiencing the holidays as a fun and festive time of year, we wind up feeling sad, lonely or even overwhelmed by a sense of grief and loss. I understand. And yet, I know with every fiber of my being that life is eternal. Those loved ones who are no longer in their physical bodies are not gone. They are simply not here in the same way that they were…
How Do I Find My Mission?
"How do I find my mission in life?" ~ Blanca, Denver Your mission will find you, rather than you searching for your mission. In my case, my mission after graduating from college was to have and raise my children while working. It was my top priority during that time, and I was happy taking care of them. But as they got older, I knew there was something else for me. I took a family trip to Greece, which changed my life significantly and when I arrived home, I connected to a new desire—to be a writer. I’ve always love to…
Unlucky in Love? Check Your Belief System
"I'm in my mid 50's and always keep my eyes out for someone to love but never find anyone. In my mid 20's I was engaged to a really great guy. We would have married but between the Church and families and moving our plans just got derailed. After that I thought I was in love a few times but they really didn't love me. They just didn't. In 1998 I adopted a daughter on my own because I desperately wanted children. She is the love of my life. But I really wanted a whole family. So in 2000 I…
Taking on God’s Role
By Michael Cupo. When we judge, we take on the role of God. Who am I to think I know what's best for anyone else unless I think I know all? And who can claim to know all but God? We all breathe the same air and are dependent on the same elements for our existence, but it seems our mind is conditioned to focus more on our differences than our similarities. It is only a thought that creates a judgment that makes a concept or belief about something. We all want to defend what we believe is the right way…
Surrender Equals Peace
The other night I had such a moment of clarity and sense of surrender that it took my breath away. I was listening to a track from West Side Story, "Somewhere" (Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim). Here are a few lyrics: There's a time for us, Some day a time for us, Time together with time spare, Time to learn, time to care, Some day! Somewhere. We'll find a new way of living, We'll find a way of forgiving Somewhere . . . As I listened to the lyric: ‘we’ll find a way of forgiving’, my epiphany…
Overpower the past… Empower the Present!
I was the baby in the family, born 11 and 8 years, respectively, after my siblings. Not until just a few years ago did I hear that my mother "farmed out" my sister and brother to strangers. The term usually referred to children who were sent to a relative back in the day, but in my siblings' case it was an indenture. My brother and sister had to work for their keep, ages six and 11. They told me these stories as part of my research while writing Wild Violets, a romanticized version of my Mother as a flapper and entrepreneur in the 1920's in…
Growth through Writing… Empower Yourself!
Since man formed his first vocabulary, family and tribal news was carried from tribe to tribe, village to village by a storyteller. They would be welcomed in each cave, hut, or council house as an honored guest and nights would be spent around the fire listening to the latest news from family members living afar. Famine, a good harvest, movement of wild herds, warring tribes, births, deaths, alliances, all were carried by the professional storyteller. After a few days passed the news had been told and the storyteller, rested and refreshed, would move to the next tribe or settlement. While…
Craziness Is in the Eye of the Beholder
By B. Lynn Goodwin. "I love my crazy husband," says my battle-gray shirt, which is splotched like an artist's canvas "I love my crazy wife," says a similar one that he wears. We got them on a visit to Padre Island, not far from Corpus Christi, TX, where my husband grew up. The night we purchased them, we also wore them to dinner. Maybe I was grinning self-consciously. More likely I was beaming. A woman in the bar with dark eyes and curly gray hair nodded as she read them. Her eyes were filled with understanding and approval as she…
Open
By B. Lynn Goodwin. I know I've shared a gratitude list here before, but I always think of November as gratitude month. Maybe that’s because it’s the month of Thanksgiving. Or maybe it’s because so much in nature goes dormant, but I get to keep going on. This used to be the month when my high school actors performed the fall play, sometimes a drama and sometimes a comedy, but never a musical. Later my college students were putting together the student directed one acts in November, working frantically to have them ready to perform during the first two weeks…