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The Wild Journey to Healing Starts at Home

One of my big demons has been codependency. For a lot of people, this is a bizarre concept. At first glance, the characteristics of the caretaker seem positive. Caretakers are often sensitive, compassionate, deep feelers and problem solvers. They take care of stuff. They feel called to save the world. No problem is beyond them. Part of what makes healing from care taking patterns so difficult is because on the surface these appear to be positive qualities. Why would a person like this need healing? The answer is that the deeper and often subconscious motivation for these ‘selfless’ behaviors is…

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Embrace The Process – Enjoy Your Journey

Enjoying the journey leading to the goal is as important as achieving the goal. Allowing the journey to divinely unfold is the secret to balance and success. Achieving goals starts at a very early age and is interweaved throughout our lives. Sell the most Girl Scout cookies. Win the spelling bee. Read the most books over the summer to receive the coveted award. Be in the upper 5% of your high school class to get the college scholarship money. Get the job with the top company. Get the bonus. Get the promotion. Buy a house. Buy a bigger house, etc.,…

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6 Straightforward Tips for a Better Life

There will be many people you meet in this life that do not like you; don’t be one of them. Place your concern on the opinion of the person you see most – YOU. You owe it to yourself and the Universe to make peace with whatever is causing you pain. Be kind, forgiving, and patient. Know that you deserve -- and are worthy -- of your own love and respect. When you believe this with every ounce of your being, everything else will fall into place. There is a lot of negativity in this world; don’t let it bring…

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stacey dorenfeld

Say Yes To Know!

As an adult I am learning to assume and model a healthy way to be there for someone in need. It is not to say that psychologists and counselors have all the answers, but most do have the skills of identifying behaviors and issues that are inherent in a rough patch in my or a close one’s life. Yes, there are consequences to being in a relationship with one who does not want to hear what you have to say or demean your feelings; however, we have to push as hard as we can to diminish the claim of being…

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Whatever the Situation, We Can Always Love

  It is a very rare privilege to be able to share two modest insights on life with an audience such as you. I am most grateful for this opportunity. At one period in my life, I seemed to be right on the top of things: A successful trainer and writer, a comfortable income, exceptional health, a marriage given in example by all and a spiritual path of 40 years standing. And then in the space of a few months, everything came crashing down: my fabulous marriage; I faced the greatest health challenge of my life (with very dire medical…

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Ignite Your Universal Light

At times you may feel alone or lost; like you were born at the wrong time, or into the wrong circumstances. As if you are in constant search for a lost ‘something.” That something is the light within you! You may have had a glimpse at the light every now and again and it gives you comfort, like a "coming home" sort of feeling. It stays with you for a time but diminishes as you move along. It comes back to visit and as much as you want it to stay with you, it fades. Maybe you have seen that…

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How to Welcome and Learn from Restlessness

I used to seek change outside myself: a new promotion or job, home, country to explore, a new relationship. I also channeled my restless nature in physical exertion and a full diary. I was goal-driven, and achievement-focused. As long as I was busy, all was well. To slow down made me painfully aware of the discontent that trailed me like a twinge. I started climbing mountains as a hobby. In the outdoors, my mind slowed and I would return to my sea-level life fresh and recharged. Over time, I wanted to commit to my mountaineering passion as a way of…

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The Surest Guide

Do what you love. Trust it. Your passions will lead you where you ultimately want to go. It may get messy in the middle of the journey. At times it may seem you’re in the wrong place altogether. Things may get painful and stormy. But trust your heart. Time and life will prove to you that following its calling is the truest path to your greatest fulfillment and happiness. If you have a dream, a talent, a voice—if you have something inside you that wants to come out, go for it. The only thing holding you back is you. The…

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The Joys of Discomfort

One of the greatest words I have ever discovered and one of the main contributing factors to my personal growth is discomfort. The opposite of discomfort is contentment, which in many ways can be the "killer of dreams and aspirations," because it somehow convinces you that you have arrived in a "safe place" and you should have enough common sense to remain there. I was at that place of contentment in my life. In fact it was more like I had decided to just accept the unfortunate cards life had handed me. I was a high school dropout, failed recording artist,…

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Children, Breakfast, and a Lesson for Adults

Not long ago I was in Seoul South Korea having breakfast in the restaurant of the Westin Chosen Hotel. You can order off a menu or go to the various cooking stations and chefs in tall - crisp-white chef’s hats will cook eggs or other foods to order. But this is not about the food, but the children from various countries who were there having breakfast with their parents. The children would go with their parents and stare at amazement at the guy with the tall white hat on his / her head - they were in awe. It did not…

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Believe And You Shall See

There is more to life than what is seen by the human eye. Allow yourself to feel and sense the deep richness underlying all that can be seen. Because there indeed is more. Be and live openly- with an open heart, open mind and open eyes. Listen to all that is being said in and between the words, actions and silence. Take it all in and experience the experience. Don’t judge; learn the lesson and love instead. Learn to forgive; it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Accept support because we are all connected and refusing support…

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Getting Over That Bump in the Road

Remove from your head everything you've ever been told you are or are not. You probably know yourself better than anyone else does anyway. Nothing that anyone else says you are can change who you really are. So forget them! They only hold you back. If you think you are capable of achieving great things, but some voice inside tells you it can't happen or won't, recognize the voice and shun it! As long as you listen to that voice, you'll only go as far as that voice allows you. This is your voice of inner confidence. Don't live your…

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